bennychase Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 We broke up a year and a half ago so she could, "find herself, mature, improve her self esteem, experience other people," all that BS. We had been talking, having sex, and hanging out here and there since. we had a LDR for 3 years. Background is here : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=539880 Well my ex girl friend convinced me that she was ready to get back together. She was even going to move to the same city as me. So to do this I fly all the way up to NY, i live in VA, and help her drive back to VA. An hour or two in to the car ride she tells me that 6 months ago she met this guy on the internet and went out with him. She said she had a few to many drinks and thought it was a good idea to just go back to his place instead of driving home. She passed out at his place and wakes up with him on top of her. He was raping her. She said she remembers trying to get him off of her but doesn’t remember anything else. I think she remembers everything and she just didn’t want to tell me. She has told no one else about this incident. She said she has spent the past 5 months trying to convince herself it wasn’t her fault. I told her I feel like it is partly her fault because she is responsible for putting herself in that situation. She just got mad at me and said,” I thought you would be a little more understanding." We get to my house 9 hours later, have sex and sleep. I wake up the next morning and tell her she should not move down here because she is not moving down here knowing beyond a doubt that she wants to get back together. She said she would have rather moved down here than tell me she really doesn’t want to be together. I told her I don’t want to talk to her at all and maybe she could send me a letter in six months. We agreed she needed to leave. She did. This want the first time she convinced me that she was ready to get back together and then bailed at the last minute. The sad thing is, I saw something like this coming from a mile away. In the past year and a half she has gone from a good girl sweet responsible girl to a party party party party drink sleep party hang out with dudes some more kind of girl. I dealt with this last year while she was telling me that she was going to come back to me once she gets this out of her system. Even after she got raped she still is party party lets hang out with as many dudes as I can. She calls everyone her friend and these looser friends, in my opinion, are a big part of the reason she has become the monster she is now. Meanwhile she is telling me that she loves me and wants to ultimately be with me, i am the most important person in her life blah blah blah ... I screwed up and sent her a letter the other day. I am kicking myself for sending that damn letter. Anyway, I am done. She is not the person I fell in love with. She has changed completely. She is irresponsible, reckless, and invites ass holes to take advantage of her. She claims she has matured so much and is so happy with herself. She even got a tattoo of a butterfly that says, "Self Esteem". Yeah, my line of thought is: tattoos are tacky as is, but girls who get a tattoo that says self esteem have no f&*cking self esteem. All these new "best" friends that she met over the past year and a half have completely F&*cked her head up. And ofcourse she doesnt listen to me at all. So I am initiating and enforcing NC from now on, even if she writes me back. I have a lot on my plate this year. I just quite my job as a computer programmer making great money so I can go to college full time and get my much needed bachelors degree. Plus, my dad died in a plane crash back in June so me and my family are still dealing with that. I don't have time to mess with this screwed up girl any more. I loved her and was going to marry her ... she went f&$cking nuts ... I tried to be there for her ... still crazy ... ... i am going to cut my losses, and heal. I am done.
silentcharon Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 It took you a year and half to say, "I'm done." Good for you! It took me nearly 7 months to say that too. Stay strong, and keep reminding yourself that she is not the person you fell in love with anymore whenever you get the urge to break NC. It won't be easy. It's been nearly 2 months of NC for me so far, and it's been incredibly difficult. Go benny go!
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