Super89Rex Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 Well, here goes.. I have been dreading writing this post due to the level of detail but I really need some guidance and advice. About 2 months ago I started dating this woman, she was amazing; absolutely incredible, within one week I had asked her to make it official and we were boyfriend and girlfriend. To get into a bit of details, we actually ended up sleeping together within the first week. We were going out for about a month and a half, and I really thought everything was going great. She would stay over my place, I would cook her meals, take her places, buy her flowers on our one month - the typical things you think a good boyfriend would do. I always loved talking to her, we would talk almost every day. Pretty much I met her whole family about a week afterward as we went out dinner together. During the second week, she got a job about an hour away in her home town (she lives here, goes to school here, but family is from town 1 hour away).. So she started working that job, commuting to visit me 2-3 times a week. I think this is where she started to grow distant, everything was excellent up until about the middle of hte second month.. I could really tell she had something on her mind, on the phone when I talked to her she was a bit quiet; she always said she was just tired. Sometimes when she said she was going to call a certain night, she never would; this actually upset me a few times but I never showed it. About 2 weeks a go, she had come to visit me after her regular Saturday shift. We planned on spending hte whole night and weekend together, we went out to eat and I could notice something was bothering her . So I asked her and she looks at me and says "I dont think I'm as happy as you are" And as you can imagine this absolutely blew my mind, I was actually devastated. So I tried to talk to her about it, I ended up leaving and spending the night alone because she said she wanted to be alone. Now, during this; I had asked her to just give me a chance, let me try to make her happy. She told me multiple times how great I was, how I was everything she had wanted; but she wanted to be alone because she hasn't been single in a while. OK, I respected that.. I was just really confused considering the same day we seemed to close, hugged and she would say I smell nice, kissed, etc. And this just hit me like a tonne or bricks.. She asked me to call her the next morning, which I did; she asked me if I would be alright and I said I would be fine. Following that I hadnt spoken to her for days, she didnt call, not even messaged me on MSN. One day I believe it was last week, she finally messaged me on MSN.. I asked her to call me because MSN was so impersonal.. So she called me, I told her how much I missed her and really thought we had something good and didnt' know where we went wrong. She said she missed me too and that she still likes me (im so confused at this point).. I was going away for the weekend and she said she would make time to call me before I left, she never called. One night I got angry after not hearing from her and for her not keeping her word, I wrote her an email saying I didnt want to put up with the head hames/mind games anymore and not to contact me... the next day I sent her another email appologizing saying I was just upset.. Ok, fast forward to now.. She had lent me her cat cage when I got my new kitten when we first started dating and she wanted it back.. She hadn't called in days, so I put on my MSN name "If you want your cage back, you better call me.." so, she saw this and messaged me and then called. I got into a few diff. topics with her, I said I missed her again and wish she was around; how I have no-one to cook for anymore.. I asked her straight up if she missed me too and she said yes and she said she liked how I used to make her dinner, etc... So I asked her if we could continue seeing eachother because I really dont want her to not be in my life and I was willing to go at her pace and take things slow. She said she wanted to keep seeing eachother too.. She came over today to get the cat cage finally, she came in; I hugged her and she said I smelled nice (I was wearing cologne).. We talked for a bit, I asked her again saying I wanted an answer whether or not she wanted to continue seeing eachother or to just end it now, because I just needed to know.. She told me she wants to keep seeing eachother, she got the cat cage.. I went in to kiss her and she kissed me back before she left, I looked into her eyes and told her to think about me.. She said she would... Now she left. **Also a bit of history on her, shes 21 entering University.. She said her last boyfriend was an alcoholic who never wanted to spend time with her and never treated her good.. Could this be a factor? ***I need advice as to what am I supposed to do for this situation, if I know her like I think i do; she will basically disappear off the planet unless I initiate contact with her.. All of my friends have told me she is playing games and doesnt know what she wants. I had told her that I dont want to be lead on and she told me she wasnt trying to lead me on when she said she misses me..I dont understand how she could miss me, say the things she says, kiss me back like she did and then not want to be with me.. Someone please help me here.. It could just be that shes really busy, but you'd think she could make some time to call me.. I mean whats the point in saying you miss someone, making me feel like we had something special; and then never calling, msging me unless I initiate it? Also another note, I met her off of LavaLife.. I have noticed she goes on there regularely and also has a new profile, this actually hurt me seeing this; considering she said she wanted to be alone? Maybe she just wants to date around? Is there any hope in me salvaging this? Can I win her back? Please help!
Kittiecat Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 Unless I misread your post, you decided to become exclusive AND you met her parents after only a week? It sounds like things just went too fast. If you can step back, give her space and let her figure out what she wants there may be a chance. But I'm more inclined to say that you may have scared her off. Back off and see what happens. Good luck!
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