Guest Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 Ive been involved with this married man at my job since around march. we havent slept together yet. heres the thing. when i first met him in march and the whole thing started, he would call me if he didnt see me that day to see how i was, write me little emails from work, stuff like that. acted like he actually gave a s**t....[hes almost 20 years older than me btw, im 19]. i would work overtime and he would drive me home, but basically our relationship consisted of making out all the time...[lol which is all hes good for basically...its purely a physical attraction for me] but i didnt sleep with him. anyway my mother found out [she works at the same company] and threatened to throw me out of the house if i didnt end whatever was going on so i kind of ended it. there was no confrontation, i just avoided him and stuff and gradually i didnt speak to him for awhile, on both sides there was a distance that sprang up...[ i was also doing alot of drugs and thats what my attention was focused on...i lost interest in him for awhile at that point cause my mind was intent on pretty white stuff] then, last month, i gave up what i was doing and all of a sudden im seeing him around and i started remembering why i was so attracted to him and it renewed my interest....needless to say, it pretty much picked up where it left off, but i still havent slept with [hes dying too though but im still wary of the idea] anyway...my point. his attitude hasnt changed towards me, but he stopped all the s**t that made me like him to begin with...he doesnt do all that little thoughtful stuff like the emails and things..he said hes been really busy with moving and blah blah but that hes keeping an apartment here '" for his kids to hang out in" [haha yeah right ] and that we would be able to chill there, but anyway im pissed off. but im irritated cause i feel that he feels that he doesnt have to make that effort anymore because he thinks i already like him... i feel like saying " dude, if your trying to sleep with me, ur going about it the wrong way" should i confront him about how i feel or just end it cold turkey? and why is he suddenly doing that one minute and then practically stalking me the next? i know i should end it, for moral and obvious reasons, but i really dont want too cause im having fun and i really dont want to give up kissing him. i just dont want to sleep with him because, not to sound bitchy, but i dont feel hes earned it number one, and, i dont want him to sleep with me then thats it and lost interest....cause if i sleep with him i dont want just a one time thing i want to keep sleeping with him lol.... i kno this sounds cold hearted and messed up but im just trying to be honest here and its hard to write stuff out cause its easy for it to come across in a way thats not intended.
norajane Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 So you're upset because the married man at work that you're making out with isn't sending you little charming emails anymore and want to know why? Because he doesn't have to anymore. After you were done with your drug habit, you went and found him again and picked up right where you left off. So now he knows you'll make out with him even if he doesn't send you email or do any of the ego-boosting things he used to do that made you feel really good...the things he was doing to get you to make out with him, and maybe to get you to sleep with him. Now why a 19 year old girl doesn't have better guys to choose from than a married man who is 20 years older is a question you should be asking yourself.
freakygal78 Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 Don't do it girlfriend! I had a MM charm me at work - he's still doing it - the emails, the BS banter! He's said he would never cheat on his wife - I'm not sure how far he would go if given the opportunity but I'm not about to find out. People at work are already speculating about our relationship so just goes to show nothing has to particularly be going on physically for people to talk. The charming conversation, the cute emails, it's the crap we girls go for and they know it which is why they keep doing it - it's an end in itself for them sometimes - they get off on the longing stares we give them and the gravitation around them so we can look adoringly in their face but then it can also get dangerous and physical very quickly - trust me, at points I have had to hold myself back like a lemming from a cliff-edge he's teased me that much. I am grateful I have had at least the good sense to stop it getting physical. Read the other posts - that's proof for me enough - (and the workplace gossip) how bad it can get. I know it's fun for the now - but it wont always be....I'm still struggling it so not gonna be all high moral ground on you but just giving you some friendly advice!
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