Toink Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 Get out now before you say "I do". I married the same guy you are describing, and I'm contemplating divorce and an affair.
burning 4 revenge Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 She already broke up with him. And divorce over affair, it's just not fair to lie to someone who loves you.
mental_traveller Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 Um. Sorry. Not the case. ABSOLUTELY untrue. What binds a couple together is mutual love and respect. Read John Gottman on this. Being attracted sexually is a tiny part of what makes a relationship work and absolutely does not guarantee that a relationship will last. In the least. I'm guessing that you're both extremely young and very single - i.e. never been in a LTR. In that case, we would marry our friends wouldn't we? I am not saying that strong sexual attraction is the only thing that matters in a relationship. I am saying that if there is *no* strong sexual attraction, then the relationship will ultimately be unsatisfying in that sexual/attraction way. You will meet someone to whom you *are* strongly attracted, and realise what you are missing. Instead of spending the rest of your natural life with a nice person who you don't actually find sexy and who you don't want to have sex with often, why not find a nice person who you *do* find attractive and have a great sex life with? THere is simply NO reason to condemn yourself to a lifetime of sexual dissatisfaction, just because someone is a good friend to you. As for John Gottman - I guarantee that if you gave his wife the choice, she would prefer an attractive, passionate, sexually skilled John Gottman over an ugly, fat, out of shape, 1 minute man John Gottman.
dreaming4ever Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Hey DeeBrod83, Remember me? Well....I broke up with him and I know it was the right thing to do. You were right. We have been apart for 5 days now and while I have been crying off and on, I know for sure that it was the right thing to do. However, in my case it wasn't just that I wasn't attracted to him, we had other problems as well. As much as it hurt to do it and as much as I'm lonely now, I am excited about dating someone I find attractive in the future. How are you holding up?
Author DeeBrod83 Posted September 25, 2006 Author Posted September 25, 2006 Hey DeeBrod83, Remember me? Well....I broke up with him and I know it was the right thing to do. You were right. We have been apart for 5 days now and while I have been crying off and on, I know for sure that it was the right thing to do. However, in my case it wasn't just that I wasn't attracted to him, we had other problems as well. As much as it hurt to do it and as much as I'm lonely now, I am excited about dating someone I find attractive in the future. How are you holding up? Hey sweetie! I'm doing well, and I'm very proud of you! I know now that it wasn't just physical with my now-ex, but hindsight is always 20/20 right? We are really no longer friends, which is truly difficult for me to deal with, but it's working out well. And I do have a new man. And he's gorgeous, AND great! I never realized you could have the best of both worlds! Best of luck to you in your 'love ventures'! I'm really glad that I could be there for you, and I thank you for helping me understand that it's not just me!!
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