sweetnessa Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 Hello, I have been having an affair for 9 months. I absolutely love my husband of 12 years but this represented excitement and freedom that I dont have within my household. I now want to end ther affair. Do I say goodbye to my lover or just ignore all calls from him? He calls on a daily basis. Please help!
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 Tell your lover that you need to end the relationship to work on your marriage and that it would be best if you two never contact each other again. Then... work on your marriage. Set up counseling if necessary.
superconductor Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 Tell him the affair is over, and you will not respond to him any more. Block his number. Don't answer his emails. Full NC. If he continues to hassle you, file a restraining order. If he tries to blackmail you, contact the police. There's no other way.
justice Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 Send an email or a letter of no contact. That is what my husband did to end his affair. Block him in every way possible, and stick to your guns. Then if that all fails file an order of protection, or restraining order. But I think in most cases you have to have proof that the person you are getting the restraint for means you harm.
Adunaphel Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 Hello, I have been having an affair for 9 months. I absolutely love my husband of 12 years but this represented excitement and freedom that I dont have within my household. I now want to end ther affair. Do I say goodbye to my lover or just ignore all calls from him? He calls on a daily basis. Please help! Tell him clearly that you'd rather end your affair and ask him not to contact you anymore. Just ignoring his calls would be rude, cowardly and might set you up for some trouble. If he cares about you he would be hurt and possibly worried about you, and he might wonder what is going on. Also, when someone knows (expecially in first person), and perhaps could even produce evidence that you had an affair, it is a wise idea to treat them respectfully. It is great that you have decided to stop the affair, good luck with your marriage.
Adunaphel Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 If he continues to hassle you, file a restraining order. If he tries to blackmail you, contact the police. There's no other way. hey, the OP did not say he even started to harass her! He has an habit of calling her on a daily basis, but she did not say that his calls have been unwelcome until now.
Bryanp Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 I am just curious how you would feel if your husband said he absolutely loves you but carried on a sexual affair for 9 months putting your health at risk for STD's. Why don't you show some respect to your husband and be honest with him so he can decide to repair the marriage if he wishes. You absolutely love your husband and you have been betraying him for 9 months having sex with your lover behind his back?.....Oh please.
superconductor Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 hey, the OP did not say he even started to harass her! He has an habit of calling her on a daily basis, but she did not say that his calls have been unwelcome until now. OK, point taken. Just wanted OP to know that there are people that she can go to if his attentions become harassing.
LakesideDream Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 Was your lover married? 9 months is a long while. What will the emotional ramifications be for your OM? 9 months is a relationship, you have responsibilities there. There is a possibility that things could become nasty if he is just "blocked and ignored". You need to let him know that it's time for you to "work on your marriage". You already made the decision to cheat. Now you want support in "just saying goodbye". You really are a human wrecking ball.
Tatara Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 You already made the decision to cheat. Now you want support in "just saying goodbye". You really are a human wrecking ball. I would be more worried if she could "just say goodbye" without feeling the need for support. Some people just don't open up as completely as others.
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