Guest Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 My bf and I have been together for almost two years. He is wonderful, intelligent, respectful and kind. The problem is I don't feel the relationship has enough "spark" or passion. I often miss my ex who had tons of spark and passion but was the opposite of all my current bf's good attributes. He was untrustworthy, selfish, egotistical, etc. Infact, when I tried to break things off with him he would almost stalk me! He still says he loves me and wants to be involved, yet he is still seperated and not divorced! What a jerk. Anyways, I can't get over this nut, or I can't help but miss the "aliveness" I felt with him. I feel that my current bf and I have so much in common and similar goals, etc. that it would be crazy to break up, yet I feel there is something missing, such as a spark or passion. Any ideas? I do think my current bf is very attractive, he is rather skinny for my taste, but he is handsome. I wonder what is wrong with me.
Tricia23 Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 There is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes we do loose that spark we once had for our significant others. Do something that you guys enjoyed when you first started going out. Say out at a nice hotel, have a nice date, by going to dinner and a movie...See if that helps you..... If you want that spark to come back do everything you can and I'm sure it will...If it doesnt then you know it wasn't meant to be....Good Luck
riobikini Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 I disagree. I suggest you find out *why* you are attracted to so-called 'bad-boys' who treat you disrespectfully, rather than gentlemen who treat you well. I *do* agree that certain (stronger) attraction towards a partner is necessary in order to 'kick-off' and maintain a healthy level of interest in a relationship but I think we should all be aware of *what* things attract us most, and *why*. I'm not suggesting that only one type of personaility is acceptable for romantic relationships; I'm not suggesting that the entire relationship hinges on whether or not you feel a 'spark' continuously, as a sign that you're in a good (healthy) relationship or not. I am suggesting that you should *know the reasons why* you want to be treated badly, and why that is a primary requirement for you in becoming attracted to someone and building a romantic relationship. I also want to offer this thought: it may just be that you have had limited past relationship experience and have only been involved with the two types of men you describe: gentlemen whom you consider boring, and bad boys who have the spark but treat you poorly. Having only experinces with these particular two types leaves the rest of the choices unknown to you at this point in your life. What you may not be aware of, is that there are *gentlemen* out there, too, who have very exciting personalities and offer much 'spark' -besides treating you with respect. I think you have simply not discovered them yet. Keep looking. (Smile) Take Care. -Rio
sad-in-seattle Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 It's like the perfect husband or the fun boyfriend dilemma! I hate this one. Deff don't go back to your last boyfriend. It's fun while it lasted. And now it's over... so don't go back there. There are always more con's that go with the pro's in that situation. =P The current boyfriend. He sounds like a great guy - I had a similar situation. Do you dump someone been super to you and never did anything wrong? I couldn't figure out a reason to dump my last boyfriend, but the fact that I wasn't happy and was thinking of ending it was reason enough. I realized we lost our spark and we loved each other, but it almost seemed as if we were bestfriends then lovers. Move on.. It will be hard, but maybe you can find a reasonable combination of the two.
DeeBrod83 Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 It's like the perfect husband or the fun boyfriend dilemma! I hate this one. Deff don't go back to your last boyfriend. It's fun while it lasted. And now it's over... so don't go back there. There are always more con's that go with the pro's in that situation. =P The current boyfriend. He sounds like a great guy - I had a similar situation. Do you dump someone been super to you and never did anything wrong? I couldn't figure out a reason to dump my last boyfriend, but the fact that I wasn't happy and was thinking of ending it was reason enough. I realized we lost our spark and we loved each other, but it almost seemed as if we were bestfriends then lovers. Move on.. It will be hard, but maybe you can find a reasonable combination of the two. S-in-S: did you to remain friends?
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