Separating after 12 years

[Ozzy1122]

I am a recovering addict who has been clean for 7 months. My wife has been emotionally cheating for 2 years. She has been talking to other men to get the attention she was missing from me. I was in an opiate induced trance for nearly three years. I lost my job as a respected financial planner, I was asked to leave our half a million dollar house, I was restricted from seeing my kids, and my wife filed for divorce. This was after I was arrested. Well since the arrest I have been cleared of all legal problems, I have regained good employment. I am in therapy and attending NA meetings. All of this has awakened me to some pretty harsh realities about myself. My wife and I both used drugs, not to any great extent on her part. I am now finding that my use was a symptom of my unhappiness in our marriage. I have also found she was unhappy even before I lost control. The arrest was a good way for her to get the ball rolling with someone else. Today we have a decent relationship. We are working through our issues with our kids. We have agreed they are most important here. We have also found that she wants to stay seperated even though I have begun to address my substance abuse. The sad part is that I was under the impression once I got help she would see I'm trying and she would want to reconcile. Now that that is happening she continues to stay the course. I know she has feelings for someone else, She always denies that. I just wish she would level with me. Is it a woman thing. I would like to ask the women on the boards... Do you ever admit infidelity? even when the evidence is blatantly clear? I have read alot on this topic. My wife may be addicted to the rush of new relationships.... I have cheated once in our marriage but came clean soon after. It was a onenight stand and I was sickened by it. I came clean soon after only to releave my own guilt. I also feel its a matter of respect to come clean. Why won't she do the same???? My kids are so beautiful.... They deserve the best and I hope we can make it all good for them. Help...