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Posted

So my boyfriend of 10 years recently decided...that we needed a break, to work on being better friends. He wasnt sure how long this would entitle, but he said that he felt this would be the best thing for our relationship. That he wants to be married to me and have children with meAs heartbreaking as it was....and is... I have stuck to it.

 

He has called a couple times to see how I was doing...all the while I act like Im doing good. Well we have been broken up for a little over a month now, and in the last 20 days I have talked to him once, and he called to ask how a court situation I am in went. After that he asked when my next court date was and I havent heard from him in about 2 weeks.

 

I guess this is my question. As much as I want to be back with him, I imagine it is safe to say, that even though he hasnt PHYSICALLY told me that hes over this relationhip...he pretty much is showing me that by not calling to work things out with me. And only calling to see how my court situation is going.

 

Now It just doesnt feel fair that even though I am doing my own thing and not calling him, I still want to know if he plans on us being together again or not.

 

Is a month and a half 2 short of a "break" for him, and do I break down and call him to see what his plans are with our relationship? Or do I continue to have NC and if he wanted to be back together he would initiate that conversation??

 

I have been doing sooooo good at not calling him even though I want to soo bad. I dont call because he is the one who innitiated this and me calling makes me feel like Im "begging" for him back in a way.

 

I think we have been together for 10 years...we cant or I CANT sit in limbo land for much longer...

 

Can anyone give me some advise on if I should continue my part of NC because he is the one who called these shots?? Or do I call demanding an answer?? Can there be an answer??? Or is the answer right in front of me, and im chosing to ignore the fact that HES NOT CALLING TO SAY I MISS YOU and Lets get back together what was I thinkin??? YIKES HELP!!

Posted

He told you he wants to marry you and have children with you. He stayed with you for 10 years, maybe he just needs a breather, to be on his own. As dangerous as this may sound, he may also be checking if the grass on the other side is greener before making his decision.

 

You are doing the right thing, stay in NC.

 

Go ahead and call him if you need to discuss where you stand now. Tell him you can't wait in limbo, and also say you aren't trying to force his hand. Just tell him you can't wait any longer, and go back to NC. The moving on part is up to you, but at least this time after you tell him this, he knows you're not waiting for him anymore. What he is doing to you is unfair- don't wait for him. I don't know what else to say, I'm in a similiar situation except that my ex is the one who can't make up his mind and I couldn't stand being the "in between" friend. It's been nearly two months of NC for me.

 

Sigh.

Posted

only you can decide if you are ready to move on. But know this he is not the only one in the relationship so therefore he is not the only one who can call the shots. If you need to call him and demand an answer then there is nothing wrong with that. But if you do that you need to be prepared to hear something you may not want to. Either way it is really up to you if you want to move on he can't keep you hanging on if you do not want to.

Posted

So my boyfriend of 10 years recently decided...that we needed a break, to work on being better friends.

 

And his idea of working on being better friends is to call you once in 3 weeks? I call bullcrap on this.

 

I CANT sit in limbo land for much longer...

 

Then don't.

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