BetterNow Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 I am such an emotional and sensitive person that everything effects m > e more than others maybe. I have put my heart and soul into our union > and I have always tried my best to make > things smooth and comfortable for all of us. Second marriage with 5 kids ( 2 are mine from first marriage 3 are his from first marriage )I have always tried to be > understanding and paitent with circumstances that arise. > However... I too like everyone have a breaking point. I have been > humiluated,hurt, and betrayed beyond what I think a loving wife should > have to deal with. > At this point ( what I feel right now ) I am beyond forgiveness. I am > not going to feel like I am not good enough as a woman and wife any > longer. > His Lies have been constant and changing. His explanations are not > entirerly truthfull and his promises have been broken more that once. > I do not trust him any longer as he has lied to me about Strip Clubs > for our entire relationship. He knows how I felt about strip clubs before we were married. > His escapades at strip clubs have been ongoing since before we were > together and I feel so betrayed and unworthy that my self esteem has > suffered too much. His trips to Strip clubs have hurt me so much as a > woman and a wife that I feel so foolish and embarassed to say the > least. Finding bank statements with $100 or more from strip clubs. > Married 10 months... and he asks for a 19 yr old strippers email > address so she can send him pictures, and then emails her back " next > time I am in the city I will come see you again". Then he says " I promise one my life and our Marriage that I will never go to > one of those places again. I do not want to lose you". Ok I will > beleive you and I will trust what you say. 6 months later guess where > he goes? Bang... there goes my trust again. I can not get over it. I > am sorry. I have tried my best. I have gone for therapy. I have been > on Medication.I should not have to do this after 10 months of Marriage. > Those Pictures I saw on his computer are burnt into my mind forever. > > Spending so much money on Lap Dances and alcohol is beyond my > understanding. we are NOT rich..... > I think about him and the fact that he has had another womans Breasts > and Vagina all over his face as she is dancing on his lap. And yes he > had his hands all over her, and God only knows how many others. Also > going to Hooters because that is OK because they are not Strippers, > and keeping that from me as well. I am not saying there is anything wrong with going to Hooters but he dosent tell me that is what bothers me. He likes the big boobs... I am a 34A.... hummmmm. > He didnt think about me or the kids at all and our Love when he was getting Lap dances. > There is so much more than Love in a marriage. Trust.... that is > the foundation of a good marriage. I no longer trust him at this > point. He has broken that trust 2 times now. Respect. I do not respect > him as a husband( at this point ) . I will say that he is very > loyal to his friends work acquintances and family. he is the best > father also. Regardless I do still love him . Maybe if I didnt love him > it wouldnt hurt so much. I can not live with him right now. I need > some time away. Comments anyone?
rina_r Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 My dear, pain will go away with time. Yes, sh*t happens. But sometimes we have to go through worse to get to the better. Run away from there. He does not deserve you. You love him as he was, not who he has become. You love good memories, but it will go away with time. You deserve a better man.
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