jgaz3124 Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 OK this is offically day 4 of me not contacting my ex after two weeks of being broken up. And let me tell you it is hard as hell!!! I was hoping as each day passed it would get easier but it seems to only be getting harder. We never had a spoken agreement that there would be NC I just started not contacting him anymore because it was killing me inside everytime that I did contact him. And it didn't help that his responses( that is if he even bothered to respond) were short and cold. This whole NC thing is helping me heal and I do feel better not talking to him but it is still so hard and I go through a rollercoaster of emotions every five minutes it seems. GRRRR!!!! I guess I don't need to say that I have a bad impulse to call or text right now that is why I am on here writing this instead. Not to mention that I leave my phone when I go for walks or to do other things but the minute I get back I am always checking it to see if maybe by some chance he decided that he would call or write and tell me he can't live without me. I always hope. But then it is the hope that is killing me and I am trying to let go of all hope because there is no point to have it and I just want to live my life and if in the future he calls or writes then I will have to deal with how I feel about that then. And I hate the fact that all my friends sit there and tell me that he will be back. Don't worry he will be back hun. That is not what I want to hear I mean yes it would be nice to know that he would be back but the thing is, is that I don't know that and they don't either. I feel like if I hope then it is keeping me down and keeping me waiting around and hell keeping me from healing. GRRRR!!!! I am so fustrated right now. I just want to heal and move on and not have that stupid feeling of hope. I mean hope is always good but in this case it is not. I just hope that it doesn't get harder and harder every f-ing day of NC!!!! There you have it folks this is what it is like to be on day 4 of NC!!!!!!!!!!
InaPanic Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 I'm on day 3 of NC & I am suffering though at the moment, bt it's not as badly as you at least at the moment. I feel your pain because I have had my moments as intense as you are. It makes me feel bad that after 4 days you feel it's harder, not easier. I have run the gammet on emotions. I have regreted sending my NC, I have been happy that I did, I have wanted him out of my life completely & totally & I have checked my email 100 times a day hoping for one. It's insanity. It's hard to give up on someone you still care about. In my case, as i think you know, I have too because it's a case of infidelity & he was the OM. So it's an added need for me to be as strong as possible. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him & still desire to hear from him. Hopefully we will get through this seeing we are on nearly the exact same day as each other. You can PM me if you need to, if you are able to but I think you have to pay $2.50 to join to do that.
Adunaphel Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 Congratulations for having resisted the urge to talk to your ex. 4 days are *a lot* of time in situations such as yours, and it is great that you are using smart strategies like not carrying your cell phone always with you. It is just normal that you feel hope, but still you are being realistic no matter what your friends say. If they are right, the better, but it's wise to act like they are not, like you are doing. Stay strong and do not give in!
Mollyanna Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 You guys are doing great. Do not contact them! I am on Day 1 for the third time and it is hell. It gets worse each time. Don't put yourself through it. You truly do have to start the grieving process all over again when you break the NC.
Author jgaz3124 Posted August 22, 2006 Author Posted August 22, 2006 You guys are doing great. Do not contact them! I am on Day 1 for the third time and it is hell. It gets worse each time. Don't put yourself through it. You truly do have to start the grieving process all over again when you break the NC. That is so true. I did break my own rule of NC like 2 or 3 other times and I felt like hell afterward so this time I will stick to it but damn it is so hard. I have been through many breakups before with different guys so I do know that this will all pass and in time I will find yet another person to either stick with for life or go through this all again. But let me tell you just because I have gone through this before with others def. does not make this one any easier.
InaPanic Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 It's funny, most of today I have had a hard time, just a little bit ago it was all i could do to NOT send a text to his phone via email. But I stopped myself & now I feel this....this little bit of strength i suppose. Like I can almost see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's teeny, just a dot but I can do this!
Author jgaz3124 Posted August 23, 2006 Author Posted August 23, 2006 Ok so it is basically at the end of day 4 of NC and I haven't called and let me tell you it was really hard today I mean like I said I don't know why but I just kept getting the impulse today to call!!! But the important thing is, is that I didn't and you know what I am proud of myself so now lets see if I can get through day 5. Wish me luck.
no1really Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 i wish i had no NC but as we have a 12yr daughter it very hard. i cant really pick her up anywhere else or she has to wait outside,i feel thats wrong for her.
Maddy7777 Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 I am going through the same thing. For me it's been 9 days of NC and the first week was hell. The best thing I could do was be with friends, luckily for me they were there for me since the break up. If I had the urge to call I would just call one of them instead and they would talk me out of it. And the whole checking the phone - I did that as well. I was so used to getting texts and calls that everytime I got a message I hoped it was him. But talking to him won't do any good. It'll just bring the pain back; and you don't deserve to go through that. Hope this helps.
Recommended Posts