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read!!!Dating confusion

kritzia21

By kritzia21
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kritzia21 New Member

kritzia21

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Hello All... my friends are tired of hearing my dilema so I decided to continue to vent on this website. Let me tell you the story..(I will make it short)

 

I knew this guy in highschool but we never talked much. 4 yrs later, I find him on a friend of mines myspace and write him a message. We end up meeting up and its instant attraction on both sides. we have a great night.

 

after the initial meeting we begin to hang out more and more, he tells me how much he likes me Im beautiful ect.... I have just gotten through a 4 year relationship so I dont want to move into anything to quickly. So I make the mistake of pushing him away. (I acted a lil bitchy at times, and sometimes told him I didnt want to see him ect..)

 

NOTE* he knew how I felt though with the break up situation from the begining.

 

So in one of my bitchy reactions we stop talking for about a week. Then I suddenly realized, wow I like this guy! So, I call him apologize and tell him that we should start dating taking things slow. He says ok sounds great. the next day I dont hear from him the whole day!!!

 

Note** (he used to call 10 times a day no exageration) so now that we are dating he does not call. WTF??? so I call him and tell him Im upset that I dont understand the games he is playing.. he says he is confused because I say I dont want a boyfriend but I expect him to call..... we go at it back and forth.

 

The line gets cut off in the middle of this, so I call him back he does not answer, I leave a message. no call back. This was on Wed. we had prior plans to meet up on Thursday. Thursday goes by no call, I write him a message "Hey are we still meeting up blah blah.." no answer never returned my call.

 

so at around midnight I write him a text saying, I dont understand you so Im not going to try anymore, too bad things didnt work, good luck in life."

 

Its been two weeks since that and he still has not called ever again!!!!

 

Last night I texted him because a friend of mine contacted him through email with out me knowing, so I text him to let him know I had nothing to do with my friend contacting him and if he and my friend hang out it will not bother me. He didnt even answer to that!!!

 

SO WHATS DO I DO NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can anyone give me some insight on the situation, I mean the guy was head over heels for me for a month!!! not to mention we slept together once and we both agreed it was awesome!!!

 

I need some clarity soon!!! any advice will be appreciated!!! Im about to research some kind of majic to see if I get him to call!!! lol

 

:love:

Ripples Established Member

Ripples

Posted
Posted

You know why he hasn't called. He told you himself. You've given him conflicting messages. Not only that but you've been a bitch to him, you also texted him, in effect telling him you knew it was over. You were really playing games, trying to manipulate him into reacting.

 

Why would he want to call you, let alone date you?

 

Another thing I'm hesitant to say, but anyway; you slept with him pretty quickly, now I'm no prude, but I think there may be some truth in the saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

superconductor Established Member

superconductor

Posted
Posted
You know why he hasn't called. He told you himself. You've given him conflicting messages. Not only that but you've been a bitch to him, you also texted him, in effect telling him you knew it was over. You were really playing games, trying to manipulate him into reacting.

 

Why would he want to call you, let alone date you?

 

Another thing I'm hesitant to say, but anyway; you slept with him pretty quickly, now I'm no prude, but I think there may be some truth in the saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

Ripplies, as usual, has it right on the money. OP, read this well, for it contains many truths.

 

Aside: A lady friend of mine (not a "ladyfriend," just a friend who happens to be female) has a similar quote about men: Why buy the whole pig when all you want is a little sausage? I dunno why, but that always make me guffaw.

Ripples Established Member

Ripples

Posted
Posted
Ripplies, as usual, has it right on the money. OP, read this well, for it contains many truths.

I'll pay you later :p

 

Aside: A lady friend of mine (not a "ladyfriend," just a friend who happens to be female) has a similar quote about men: Why buy the whole pig when all you want is a little sausage? I dunno why, but that always make me guffaw.

 

A little sausage! :lmao:

 

These fora are really making me laugh today. :D

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kritzia21 New Member

kritzia21

Posted
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Hi ripples, you are very right, he is the first guy I been with that is not a boyfriend of mine. ( i only had two boyfriends) so I felt so terrible for sleeping with him which is also why I thought we should start dating cause I realized I liked him and on top of that I feel weird sleeping with someone im not with. and your also right about the mixed messages... I was very confused between wanting to give myself growing time to be alone after the break up and wanting to give things a try with this new guy.

 

so now what do u think I can do next???

 

Thanks for the fast replies!!

Ripples Established Member

Ripples

Posted
Posted

Well, you're certainly taking critisism pretty well! Says a lot.

 

Ok, well in my experience the best thing to do, for starters, is ignore him right back. That means NO contact, none.

 

I'm guessing you're pretty young, so excuse me if I'm telling you to suck eggs here.

 

Begin looking after yourself. Eat well, exercise, have clean hair, nice make up (if you wear it), do a hobby or past-time, it all goes a long way to making yourself feel a whole lot better.

 

And lastly, give yourself time between relationships. You can still see guys, but don't date, just have male friends. You need to not get into a cycle where you only feel validated through a relationship. Create your self-esteem through your own self.

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kritzia21 New Member

kritzia21

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Yeah, Im asking for advice so I need to be ready to take it :)

 

well Im 21, and I work for a major make up company elizabeth arden so Im always primped out and pretty. I also go to school and go to the gym ect.. so self estreem is not the problem. Its just a matter of like u said I know I messed up so I feel like maybe I lost an opportunity to be with a good guy. (not be with him soon, just u know have him date me slowly...) now we have no contact.

 

and I have been no contact, except for that text on sat. about my friend. so do you suggest I just forget about him or in time try to contact him?

 

Thanks so much!!!!

Ripples Established Member

Ripples

Posted
Posted

I, personally, would forget about him. You're 21 why would you want to waste time waiting for 'a guy'? Ok, he maybe nice (but lets face it, he's not *that* nice), but there's a ton of other nice guys out there.

 

First and foremost, it's yourself you need to give time too. I bet you anything you like, that once you're properly over your four year relationship, and once you've had enough time to put this latest fling into perspective, you won't feel quite so keen on him anymore.

 

;)

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kritzia21 New Member

kritzia21

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Im sure your right, and I have other guys that I talk to and ect... I just seemed to suddenly realized I liked him... but oh well your right there are others Im young. :)

 

Thanks so much for your advice..... Im going to leave it be I guess if he ends up callin one day then Ill take it from there!!!

 

if anyone else has any comments I would love to hear them.

Thanks

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