blind_otter Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 My mother told me this past weekend that she has made arrangements for my Dad's funeral. We talked about it with my Dad there, he seems very calm and at peace. He has lost his voice, now. He whispers and can only say a few words at a time. Mom has put him on oxygen all the time, it's helped a lot. He can sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. But he is white as a sheet. You can see the life slowly ebbing away from him like the tide receding. Slowly, slowly, with gentle sighs. He still watched fox news almost 24/7, but when I stop by he changes it to the Discovery Channel or TLC, I think in some ways in memorium of our many conversations about history, science, philosophy. I will miss those so much. He was the only one who gave me such succor. So I was a bit upset when I got home. I watched "A Concert for George" and got all weepy. I wanted to pick the song "All things must pass" but I don't know if that really represents my DAD, more like it's how *I* feel about death. So I was thinking of the Emmet Ray song "I'll see you in my dreams". I was wondering if it was appropriate. So if I could get opinions that would be great. Tho' the days are long Twilight sings a song Of the Happiness that used to be Soon my eyes will close Soon I'll find repose And in dreams, you're always near to me.... I'll see you in my dreams Hold you in my dreams Someone took you out of my arms Still I feel the thrill of your charms Lips that once were mine Tender eyes that shine They will light my lonely way tonight I'll see you in my dreams....
tinktronik Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I think this song is a great pick BO , if you think it represents your Dad . How are you coping?
Asafan Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I used to work as a Nurse Aid for Hospice, so I understand your description and what you must be feeling. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. All I can do is offer my sympathy. The song seems totally appropriate to me.
Author blind_otter Posted August 21, 2006 Author Posted August 21, 2006 I'm bummed. I cry occassionally. I was crying watching "A Concert for George" all sad about the fact that George Harrison died, but I realized I was really crying about my Dad and I was just using the concert as an excuse. I've been watching funny movies though. Trying to keep upbeat in other areas of my life so that I don't drag myself down into the oubliette. My other sisters picked "I'll Fly Away" and "Amazing grace" which kind of represents their personalities and how they felt about my Dad. So I figure I would just go that route and use the song to describe how I feel about Dad. I didn't want something sad and mournful. I wanted something that was a little sad, sentimental, but I totally feel like when he passes, he will always be with me because I am part of his legacy. I mean, I always feel him with me, even when we were oceans apart. He is in every particle of my being. I hope that, when he passes away, I still feel that closeness with him. So that was why I picked that song.
Ariadne Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Hi, I'm so sorry about your father blind_otter. Hugs. And that song seemed great to me too. Ariadne
hotgurl Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 BO I feel like that is a really nice song. It fits well. I am glad you are doing well in spite of everything. You are so strong.
Author blind_otter Posted August 21, 2006 Author Posted August 21, 2006 Thanks HG (and Ariadne ) I don't feel strong. I feel like, this is life, death is part of like. As Tagore wrote in Stray Birds, "Death belongs to life as birth does. The walk is in the raising of the foot, as in the laying of it down."
Sassy Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 At my SO step mom funeral they played the song Go Rest High on the Mountain by Vince Gill . I always cry when i hear that song at a funeral. My dad's funeral they played The Rose by Bett Midler that was his favorite song. That is another tear jerker.
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Hold On By Sarah McLachlan Then again … maybe not. I can't manage to get through that one myself without getting all weepy. But I think you should listen to the lyrics if you have a quiet moment to yourself.
quankanne Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Billy Joel's "Lullabye" … because I truly believe the love you have for someone never, ever dies, it goes on and on …
beach Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I favor that song that says - I will raise you up on eagles wings... It is probably more of a Catholic based song though.... It really is beautiful, we had it at my Dad's funeral...
Author blind_otter Posted August 21, 2006 Author Posted August 21, 2006 I favor that song that says - I will raise you up on eagles wings... It is probably more of a Catholic based song though.... It really is beautiful, we had it at my Dad's funeral... That's a good one. I didn't think of that, we used to sing it all the time when I was a kid. My sisters and I did 3 part harmonies...maybe we could practice and sing it together again...
beach Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 That's a good one. I didn't think of that, we used to sing it all the time when I was a kid. My sisters and I did 3 part harmonies...maybe we could practice and sing it together again... Oh my goodness... what a great idea BO... I can't believe you would recognise it! That song brings me to tears every time. Happy tears though because the song itself is really beautiful... What about the Ave Maria? It's very traditional if he is the slightest bit older... My Mom requests it for every wedding we've had - of course - my Dad's funeral too...
Ruff Ryder Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 There is only one song that I would pick.... 2 versions but the same song. Ill be missing you- the police Ill be missing you- Puff daddy. It isx a great song very sad but very good.
Ladyjane14 Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 I don't know much to tell you about songs, Otter. I just wanted to let you know that your words brought tears to my eyes, and I'm sorry for what you're losing. Hugs to you, Sweetie. I can share this though... the one time I ever had to choose a meaningful song in remembrance of a loved one, I never fully enjoyed that song again. It makes me sad to this day to hear it... and it's been a long, long time since then.
amaysngrace Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 My sister had Eagle's Wings at her funeral. There were a lot of songs. But probably my favorite which was a tribute to her life was "I Hope You Dance" by LeeAnn Womack. She was the queen of boogie! I think any song you choose is appropriate, B_O, because you know him best! XO
quankanne Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 liturgical music appropriate for Catholic funeral Mass: "you are mine" "do not let your hearts be troubled," by david haas ... gorgeous meditation song, sung at one of the priest's funerals.
Sassy Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 My sister had Eagle's Wings at her funeral. There were a lot of songs. But probably my favorite which was a tribute to her life was "I Hope You Dance" by LeeAnn Womack. She was the queen of boogie! I think any song you choose is appropriate, B_O, because you know him best! XO "I Hope You Dance is such a beautiful song makes me cry everytime i hear it.
HokeyReligions Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 I'm so sorry B_O. I know how you are feeling, having gone through so much with my mom and her recent passing. I think a song is a sweet way to remember someone and a wonderful way to express your own feelings. Lots of good suggestions here and I like the one you chose. Since mom passed I've been humming/singing to myself her favorite song How Great Thou Art. Of course, that is a religious song - but it expressed mom's feeliings and that makes the song extra special to me. Johnny Cash songs will always remind me of mom (she had a huge crush on him & has a lot of his albums) and I think that when we scatter her ashes I will have HGTA and afterward we'll listen to JC records. We've been transferring VHS movies to DVDs and I came across one yesterday that was a montage hubby put togther for me back in 1989 when I had my 16 y/o dog, Susie, put to sleep. It showed all these photos of her and playing was Simon and Garfunkle's I Have A Photograph. In the montage were lots of pictures of Susie with mom. I like your uplifting songs. Hugs to you - I understand what you are going through.
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