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Why is it always our fault?

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Guest

Guest

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Why is it that when every time something is wrong in a relationship it is always the woman's fault? It is either the woman is a b@@ch or a nag blah blah. Does any men ever take responsibility for anything they ever do? I am not saying this is the case for all men just some.

JackJack Established Member

JackJack

Posted
Posted
Why is it that when every time something is wrong in a relationship it is always the woman's fault? It is either the woman is a b@@ch or a nag blah blah. Does any men ever take responsibility for anything they ever do? I am not saying this is the case for all men just some.

 

 

 

Is this coming from the fact you see alot of threads on here pertaining to women who seem to be at fault for things or blamed for things alot?

Sally00 Established Member

Sally00

Posted
Posted

That's the male's excuse... that it's either we're nagging or it's that time of the month.

Well, there wouldn't be a reason to nag if they just did what we said.

And how would THEY like it if THEY bled for 5 days... lol.

 

But seriously, it's just excuses. Not everyone is like that.

We can blame males for being just that... males. Perverted, cocky, etc.

 

We all have our little reasons that it's THEIR fault and not ours.

 

REAL men DO take responsibility for things that they do.

 

My boyfriend is a great guy. When we have disagreements, it's not always my fault or it's not always his fault. We try to see from each other's views. Then one of us apologizes or both of us do.

 

It's all about love, consideration, and communication.

a4a Established Member

a4a

Posted
Posted

I don't see it as a fault so much but I think more responsibility is put on the woman to fix a relationship in many cases.

 

A woman is often told that men are just men and to take them as is without question maybe? Women are told to adjust to the men in many cases not the other way around in most cases?

JackJack Established Member

JackJack

Posted
Posted

Well the way I see it is, if a man feels things are a womans fault, or blames them alot, its that he doesn't want to take responsibility for the fact he has a hand in whatever is going on. He is a coward and its easier for him to point the finger and blame someone else. The same goes for women as well. It really can be equal too, men and women both can place the fault on the other if they don't want to share the blame.

dgiirl Established Member

dgiirl

Posted
Posted

A woman is often told that men are just men and to take them as is without question maybe? Women are told to adjust to the men in many cases not the other way around in most cases?

 

*sigh* i did both, and look where it got me... exh cheating on me and leaving me for another woman. Screw it. I'm never taking a man as is anymore. I'm never adapting to a man's personality, and just accepting that's how guys are. Not a romantic guy? See ya! Not an affectionate person? Bye bye, I'll go hug my cat. Dont like to talk? I'll go talk to a wall, salut champion.

lovestruck234 Established Member

lovestruck234

Posted
Posted
Why is it that when every time something is wrong in a relationship it is always the woman's fault? It is either the woman is a b@@ch or a nag blah blah. Does any men ever take responsibility for anything they ever do? I am not saying this is the case for all men just some.

 

You are now officially my favourite person on this site for bringing this up! Lol

 

I have taken the blame for every arguement I have had with my bf and the fact that I brought it up in a talk we had the other day took a HUUUUGE load off my shoulders. It's so frustrating and I told him that I found myself toward the end of it just taking the blame without any arguement cos I know it's easier and I just wanted to keep the peace.....and then I realised that WASN'T ON!! NO WAY was I taking the blame for being late to a family dinner when he was the one who forgot his watch and had to drive back, NO WAY was I taking the blame when he wasn't in the mood for sex and I was and he was blaming ME for being moody....oh and by God NO WAY was I taking the blame when I've got my rags......that is the only week of the month when EVERYTHING is his fault. Lol ONLY JOKING!!

 

I felt so much better when I got it off my chest. But I was very surprised to see his reaction to it all....quite amusing. He was so used to being the right one in everything it was a little different now the ball was in his side of the court, wasn't it? He got sooooooo defensive and was telling me "Well, I mustn't treat you right, go find someone who does!!"

 

Men are easier at giving, not recieving. And that's in all aspects.

 

Sometimes they like to be in control, but really, who doesn't? The tricky part of any relationship is finding BALANCE. We're still finding it, but I know once we do....it will be alot easier when that conflict comes around again.

KittenMoon Established Member

KittenMoon

Posted
Posted
Does any men ever take responsibility for anything they ever do?

 

Sometimes, but only after years. Because admiting a fault or a mistake when it actually happens would be unmanly. :mad::laugh:

 

*sigh* i did both, and look where it got me... exh cheating on me and leaving me for another woman. Screw it. I'm never taking a man as is anymore. I'm never adapting to a man's personality, and just accepting that's how guys are. Not a romantic guy? See ya! Not an affectionate person? Bye bye, I'll go hug my cat. Dont like to talk? I'll go talk to a wall, salut champion.

 

Dgiirl, you're my hero at the moment. :D

Road Rage Established Member

Road Rage

Posted
Posted

LS is an estrogen board if ever there was one. I`m silent here:rolleyes:

a4a Established Member

a4a

Posted
Posted

come on now..... he is a guy.......that is just how they are.

 

if you cannot deal with him then that is your problem.

 

Perhaps you need to change so you can get along with your man.

 

 

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEZE - spare me.

 

 

 

If I would have listened to the constant nagging of other women to adjust and just accept him and how he is we would be living in the street and eating the govt. cheese long ago. :lmao:

superconductor Established Member

superconductor

Posted
Posted

Speaking as a guy (because, strangely enough I am, I checked just this morning)...

 

Pointing the finger of blame is about as self-destructive a behaviour, and the biggest waste of time, there probably is.

 

So you have to ask yourself something: What is the one and only consistent factor in relationships?

 

Go ahead, I'll wait.

 

It's YOU.

 

If every guy you meet is consistently blaming others for relationship problems, if every guy you meet is consistently the same, if every guy you meet consistently disappoints you, who's really the one with the issue?

 

Some men are good men (truth be told, there are a lot of good men, but we get passed by because of the "bad boy" syndome), others aren't good relationship material. And some women are good women and don't nag and b*tch and whine and carry on, others live to accuse their man of not holding up their part of the relationship bargain.

 

It's been said - and I sincerely believe that it has a good degree of accuracy - that men marry women in hopes that they won't change, but they do, and women marry men in hopes that they will change, but they don't.

 

In short, we're all looking for that tailored fit in an off-the-rack world. But there ain't no such thing.

superconductor Established Member

superconductor

Posted
Posted
Because admiting a fault or a mistake when it actually happens would be unmanly.

Nonsense.

 

A good man will be the first to admit when he has done something wrong, by accident or design.

 

But, alas, too many men are put in the position of having to apologize for their existence. "I'm sorry, dear" when you've really done nothing wrong, "it won't happen again dear" when you have no idea what you did in the first place, "please forgive me dear" when you've got nothing to apologize for, and the ever-popular, "whatever you say, dear, whatever makes you happy" when you'd rather get a root canal than do whatever it is that she wants.

 

Then, when the time comes for a real apology, it's brushed off and ignored. Happens all the time.

a4a Established Member

a4a

Posted
Posted
Nonsense.

 

A good man will be the first to admit when he has done something wrong, by accident or design.

 

But, alas, too many men are put in the position of having to apologize for their existence. "I'm sorry, dear" when you've really done nothing wrong, "it won't happen again dear" when you have no idea what you did in the first place, "please forgive me dear" when you've got nothing to apologize for, and the ever-popular, "whatever you say, dear, whatever makes you happy" when you'd rather get a root canal than do whatever it is that she wants.

 

Then, when the time comes for a real apology, it's brushed off and ignored. Happens all the time.

 

 

eh ........ I think some men and women just cannot see why they need to apologize or admit they have made a mistake in the first place.... I mean 100% take responsibility.

 

You see it with the affairs all the time..... I had to have sex with him because you did not make me feel pretty......

lovestruck234 Established Member

lovestruck234

Posted
Posted

So you have to ask yourself something: What is the one and only consistent factor in relationships?

 

Go ahead, I'll wait.

 

It's YOU.

 

If every guy you meet is consistently blaming others for relationship problems, if every guy you meet is consistently the same, if every guy you meet consistently disappoints you, who's really the one with the issue?

 

 

You made great points, I respect your opinion, superconductor.

 

I would never generalise every guy as being the same, because that is scientifically impossible, but I will generalise the fact that everyone likes to be right. No-one wants to sit back and go "Oh...ok...I'm wrong"

 

That is why conflict is what it is. Women are from Mars and Men are from Venus. Simple yet complicated. No matter how much experience we have had with the opposite sex, we will never TRULY understand deep inside their head...and that's a fact.

 

And we fight and argue and disagree and go through all that heart-ache because we are totally oppposite.......and you know what? I love that.

 

Both men AND women like to have a little power and authority....just gotta learn how to share that out....:)

johan Established Member

johan

Posted
Posted

Nothing complicated here. You can't deny that in 100% of the arguments you have with him you're disagreeing with him. Cause, effect. Very simple. No disagreement, no argument, no need for either party to take blame.

 

I feel like I should get this all in a book. I've been on a pretty good roll lately.

a4a Established Member

a4a

Posted
Posted
Nothing complicated here. You can't deny that in 100% of the arguments you have with him you're disagreeing with him. Cause, effect. Very simple. No disagreement, no argument, no need for either party to take blame.

 

I feel like I should get this all in a book. I've been on a pretty good roll lately.

 

:lmao: :lmao:

 

oh do put together a relationship guide asap!

 

for some reason this bring chip and dale to mind.

lovestruck234 Established Member

lovestruck234

Posted
Posted
Nothing complicated here. You can't deny that in 100% of the arguments you have with him you're disagreeing with him.

 

Umm...I'm not really understanding what you're saying here but an argument is brought on by disagreeance...if I was agreeing with him we wouldn't be technically arguing....:confused:

a4a Established Member

a4a

Posted
Posted
Umm...I'm not really understanding what you're saying here but an argument is brought on by disagreeance...if I was agreeing with him we wouldn't be technically arguing....:confused:

 

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

very good!

lovestruck234 Established Member

lovestruck234

Posted
Posted
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

very good!

 

 

Are you taking the p*ss outta me?

johan Established Member

johan

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Posted
...if I was agreeing with him we wouldn't be technically arguing....:confused:

 

Problem solved. :laugh:

amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

Posted
Posted

If I would have listened to the constant nagging of other women to adjust and just accept him and how he is we would be living in the street and eating the govt. cheese long ago. :lmao:

 

 

:lmao: Where do you come up with this stuff??

 

a4a is my hero!! :D

lovestruck234 Established Member

lovestruck234

Posted
Posted
:o ...sh*t.......
RecordProducer Established Member

RecordProducer

Posted
Posted
Why is it that when every time something is wrong in a relationship it is always the woman's fault? It is either the woman is a b@@ch or a nag blah blah. Does any men ever take responsibility for anything they ever do? I am not saying this is the case for all men just some.

Just some? :confused:

You'll have to show me the ones who are not in this category. I am expecting your call in... like 100 years? :rolleyes:

 

My advice: don't get mad, get even! ;)

 

They do something wrong and we nag. Then we are guilty of nagging, but they are not guilty of anything since they never do anything wrong (or at least not that they've noticed)... like we nagged just cuz we felt like nagging. Like we need to nag, we need to get our fix once in a while and the more we nag the more we need it cuz it's getting addictive... :rolleyes:

 

So we have to indulge our irresistible desire to nag and since it's very harmful for our relationship, it boils down to this: if we could only get rid of that awful habit, everything in our relationship would be perfect (for them). I agree. And you agree. And they agree. So which part are you not getting? :mad:

 

1. Find his weak spots;

2. Steal his ammunition;

3. Shoot at the weak spots with his own ammunition;

4. Stay calm and smile through the whole "process;" :)

5. Don't let him know that you're just being vindictive or want to teach him a lesson. Your decisions are genuine and any resemblance with his selfishness and stubborness is merely coincidental. ;)

6. Enjoy his change once he realizes that if agreement is impossible with him, it's impossible with you too.

 

Bottom line: most men only make changes when they realize that they will directly benefit from it.

KittenMoon Established Member

KittenMoon

Posted
Posted
Nonsense.

 

A good man will be the first to admit when he has done something wrong, by accident or design.

 

But, alas, too many men are put in the position of having to apologize for their existence. "I'm sorry, dear" when you've really done nothing wrong, "it won't happen again dear" when you have no idea what you did in the first place, "please forgive me dear" when you've got nothing to apologize for, and the ever-popular, "whatever you say, dear, whatever makes you happy" when you'd rather get a root canal than do whatever it is that she wants.

 

Then, when the time comes for a real apology, it's brushed off and ignored. Happens all the time.

 

It's not really about right vs. wrong. When you do something that obviously hurt your partner, but refuse to acknowledge you hurt them, what you did doesn't really matter much of the time. That you hurt them should be enough.

 

Even if someone doesn't think they did anything WRONG, the simple phrase of "I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry" works wonders.

 

"I'm sorry". It's so easy to say. And yet so many people just won't say it...

Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Everytime my SO and I get into an argument it is always my fault so this is why i made this post LOVESTRUCK. I just wanted opinions for what others thought. I know we all are at fault for things that happenin our relationship. I just wanted to know why some men never are to blame for anything going wrong always the b@@chy women. Glad to know there are others that deal with this and not just me! JackJack you make great posts and whoever has you are a very very lucky lady!!

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