littlemadie Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Can somebody tell me how to grief after a break-up ? Is there a way to do it ? I was in a relationship for 5.5 yrs and its been 14 months since we broken up. We still stay in touch. He got himself a girlfriend about 6 months back but only told me about it a month ago. I had always thought we would get back together again, and he says there is no chance anymore. I need to move on. I need to let go. How do I do that ? How can I grief and then move on ?
swirly27 Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Little- Is this your first break-up? If so I feel for you because for everyone it is different, but it is always hard and soul searching and draining. But, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (I hate that line haha) but its the truth. I am in the middle of trying to move on from someone myself and its hard to say this advice to myself but easier to say to someone else. You just have to know that you are a great person and deserve time to heal and time to feel. You need to remember that someone out there will love you for you. You need to keep busy and do whatever you can do to try and distract yourself or self-help yourself. Cry, vent, clean, haha whatever you need to know. It sounds as if you have been holding on to this hope for over a year and that has got to be draining for you.....you now need to let go and begin the true healing process. Accepting it is over and never coming back is the first big step. We've all been thru it and you will survive too. Hopefully you have some great friends who are very supportive, and family too. I know I do, as well as coming here to vent. We're all here to help.
Kengne Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 Can somebody tell me how to grief after a break-up ? Is there a way to do it ? I was in a relationship for 5.5 yrs and its been 14 months since we broken up. We still stay in touch. He got himself a girlfriend about 6 months back but only told me about it a month ago. I had always thought we would get back together again, and he says there is no chance anymore. I need to move on. I need to let go. How do I do that ? How can I grief and then move on ? You will not be able to let him go, with him remaining in your life as a 'friend'. I say this, because clearly you still had hopes of reconciliation. And if you're still hoping 14 mths post-break up - then you haven't moved on. Stop talking to him, immediately. Not tomorrow, but yesterday. Yes it'll be hard. But you know what? Sometimes the hardest things in life are the things we MUST do to be right with ourselves. It's time for you to go NC. Maybe one day down the line... when you've moved on, you will be able to re-establish a friendship. But for now you need to focus on yourself and getting him out of your life, heart and mind. K.
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 Little- I'm sorry about your first break up ever, I'm with you on this one completely. Yes you must get this guy out of your life for you to truely heal. Though I haven't spoken to my ex in a year, I still feel exactly like you do. A year isn't a long time for new things to come in your life, or a new love..so it will be hard whether you keep in contact with him or not. Start that now though if you can. It is emotionally draining and the pain can hit you at anytime, but as the advice up there says know that you are a great person and deserve love:)
Author littlemadie Posted August 22, 2006 Author Posted August 22, 2006 Its not actually my first break-up. Other break-ups was much easier. Its just this one that is the hardest. I dont know its because its the longest relationship I have had or because I did expect it to go somewhere after 6 years. What kills me is that he took whatever mistakes he made with our relationship and learnt from it to make his current one better. And he told me he is happy. He uttered horrible things when breaking up with me and treat me unfairly and yet he is the happy one. I feel its my fault that I was stupid enough to think that he will come to his senses and come back. And I have wasted my time and energy and pain because of him when he doesnt even know how much I have been hurting. I have been emotionally used up and I feel I need and desperately want to move on.
Recommended Posts