lovelylady1234 Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Let me 1st start off by saying I have never crossed the line with this guy I have become friends with (he's single). We talk on the phone and very occasionally hang out, but it's platonic. My question is, I never mention my husband to him and he never asks about him. I have asked him to go places with me because I don't want to go alone or at night and he never asks "where is your H" or "why doesn't your H go with you" I went over to see an apartment he is remodeling and we had lunch afterwards I was with him for a good 5 hours on a weekend and he never mentions why I wasn't with my H. This may seem like a strange question, but I am not sure of his motives or reason as to why he doesn't ever mention him. So I wanted to get other guys takes on a theory? thanks
whichwayisup Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Your husband should be part of this friendship. Spending 5 hours with a single guy (unless your husband knows him well and he's a long time friend) alone on a weekend isn't cool. I'm not saying that anything is going to happen, but part of being married, is giving up afew things - One of them is spending ALOT of time with a single man. Let me ask you afew things. Did your husband know you were with this guy? And, if the situation was reversed, how would you feel if your husband spent 5 hours on a weekend with a single woman????? Don't you have girl friends or relatives that can you places with you if your hubby doesn't want to go? I just feel you're playing with fire, developing a 'friendship' with a single guy isn't a good idea unless you tell him straight up that nothing will ever happen and not to ever try to make a move on you. His motives...Think for a second. He's single and he is a guy. He doesn't ask you questions about your husband, he's available to go out with you, at night or go out with you on the weekend.......I'm not a guy, but I do understand how men think. It's only a matter of time.....
stoopid_guy Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Let me 1st start off by saying I have never crossed the line with this guy I have become friends with (he's single). We talk on the phone and very occasionally hang out, but it's platonic. My question is, I never mention my husband to him and he never asks about him. I have asked him to go places with me because I don't want to go alone or at night and he never asks "where is your H" or "why doesn't your H go with you" I went over to see an apartment he is remodeling and we had lunch afterwards I was with him for a good 5 hours on a weekend and he never mentions why I wasn't with my H. This may seem like a strange question, but I am not sure of his motives or reason as to why he doesn't ever mention him. So I wanted to get other guys takes on a theory? thanks Take it from a guy; If he's friends, and he finds you attractive (do either of you flirt with the other?) he's interested. Feel him out. Ask something like "What kind of girl get's your attention?" If he's interested in you at all, his response will let you know for sure.
LakesideDream Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Hey, I'm a single guy.. and I have ONE good friend who's female, she is currently single as well. We have dinner often (monthy) in fact it's a running gag, we always go to Outback cause they have good food and great Scotch. We have never had any romance between us, period. We are friends. It is possible however unusual.
InaPanic Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 It's very easy to become emotionally attatched to this single guy once you become friends. And then it's too easy to cross the line into a physical relationship & then you will be in the hell I am trying to get through. I'm not sure if you two are attracted to each other or not but if you are get out while you can. I'm not a man, i'm a woman but I do know the OM during our affair said he just had to block out my H from his mind & pretend he didn't exist. I cannot imagine doing that but he was obviously pretty good at it. He said if he thought about him it would drive him crazy. Then when OM decided we needed a 'break' one of the things he said was that he thinks he spent too long trying to pretend that my H wasn't in the picture when he was & would always be. Men can block things sometimes better than women I think.
Author lovelylady1234 Posted August 22, 2006 Author Posted August 22, 2006 Take it from a guy; If he's friends, and he finds you attractive (do either of you flirt with the other?) he's interested. I have never flirted with him. (never touched, kissed, or hugged him) He is very shy so if he's flirting, I'm missing it. Feel him out. Ask something like "What kind of girl get's your attention?" If he's interested in you at all, his response will let you know for sure. that's great advice. Keep it coming. thanks
Yamaha Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 I would say if he never asks about your H he is trying to block him out and concentrate on the two of you. Do you ever bring up the H to him? If you have, what was his response?
Author lovelylady1234 Posted August 22, 2006 Author Posted August 22, 2006 I would say if he never asks about your H he is trying to block him out and concentrate on the two of you. Do you ever bring up the H to him? If you have, what was his response? I have never had a conversation one on one about my H, but I have had group conversations about my H with him and he never says anything. He just listens but has never commented.
Author lovelylady1234 Posted August 22, 2006 Author Posted August 22, 2006 To clarify my post above, I have never talked bad about my husband in front of him or anyone else in that group, what I mean is just talking about my H in general.
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