spinningwheels Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Well, I have previously posted here about my MM. We have been together for 8 months or so. Things were well, trips,dates,sleepovers...etc....important talks..... I have posted about how he got into my cell phone messages about a month ago and questioned me about them. I had nothing to hide, so I kind or blew it off. However-----it planted the seed........I got access to his messages, and boy did I get thrown through the loop of hell! Several different women, most of whom could easly be explained....but one.... Lets call her Lisa. They had a two year relationship. She was also married. She was going to leave her very rich husband to be with my MM. Well, her husband did not understand the lack of attention that he gave her, etc....her needs....wants.... so they decide to stay together. This all happened a few months before I met my MM man. We instantly moved into a blissful time. Sleepovers, vacations, dinners, movies. A real relationship. Well, I checked his messages, and low and behold several are from her crying, how much she wants him, will love him forever. Enter our first big fight......He says that he will break all contact with her if it hurts me so much! He said that he does love her as a friend, as they had a two year relationship (BUT SHE LEFT HIM!) I of course continue to listen to his messages. Several other unidenified women leave messages, but her--Lisa--left a crying one last Friday stating...."I know that you don't want to hear from me again--but I just sent you a long e-mail. I love you forever...." Made me feel sick but also glad, he told her NC. Forward to yesterday, another message with her tearful saying she go his messages from earlier, thanking him for saying that he will alway love her....saying how great it was to see him the night before, if only briefly? WTF. He spends all day with me in bed at lunch and still has time of the exow at night. Of course his first explaination is that she is crazy, he never saw her, he doesn't know why she would leave this message. Then he goes on in our next conversation that he had set the trap and I had dispproved myself to him! WTF? Finally he said that yes they are friends and he will love her forever just not in the same way as me. None of this washes! I think that he believes that I am a stupid desperate fool. I said to him if this was only a friendship lets all go out, or lets all call her. He could even blame me and say my gf is insecure and silly but she really needs to hear somethings from you. But he says he would not emarass her or himself like that. Well, when you profess love like he did, who gives a f....k about embarassment? Thoughts please.....
Guest Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 I don't understand. You're upset because of Lisa when he has messages from other women. You feel like he is betraying you. Of course he's betraying you. #1 - He happens to be married to another woman. Is that considered betrayal? Or is that different? #2 - He is obviously seeing this other woman, and you want to what - take her out to dinner and apologize to her? Am I getting this right? #3 - Are you not bothered by the other messages from the "several other women?" If not, why? #4 - Are you worried that he is not being monogamous to you? My question is, how do you even think it is possible that he <i>is</i> being monogamous with you? Please stop letting this man make a fool out of you.
Mascara Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Thoughts? He is playing you exactly as if you were his wife!!! Sorry, but all the reasons and excuses and "she's crazy" crap are EXACTLY what he will spout about you when the W finds out. You're not really in a position to complain about him cheating though, since he is already cheating with you. Pleeease cut all ties with this loser. He's a serial philanderer and you will never have peace of mind.
newbby Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 if he is a liar and a cheat, and he appears to be lying and cheating, then there is only one conclusion to draw really. i am sorry to be blunt. my exmm too had "cheated" on me with oow, i wasnt happy, even a little shocked in a way, but you kind of do have to expect it may be a pretty likely possibility. after all, the guy is a cheat. so all you have decide is do you want to be one of many ow, or do you want to be the only ow (with a mm who has less spare time), or do you want to be the ow (ONLY WOMAN)??? it is up to you, but there is only one of those options that he can offer you.
BUTAFLY Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Thoughts? He is playing you exactly as if you were his wife!!! Sorry, but all the reasons and excuses and "she's crazy" crap are EXACTLY what he will spout about you when the W finds out. You're not really in a position to complain about him cheating though, since he is already cheating with you. Pleeease cut all ties with this loser. He's a serial philanderer and you will never have peace of mind. How does he have time to have oow? He is a player...and this is what players do. OH you thought you were different? Special? His wife was the reason he was sniffing around ow? WRONG! He is just a lousy person with zero integrity or character. Dump this player and do his wife a service and tell her too.
Adunaphel Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 I agree with the other posters, and I hope you are not buying any of his lies.
whichwayisup Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Why are you wasting your time on this guy? If you stay and put up with his bullcrap, the more he'll serve you on a platter, WITH a smile. Dump him and move on with your life. And, get a blood test to make sure he hasn't given you a STD!
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