Guest Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 My marriage has been a little rocky for the last 6 months or so. I wanted to see a MC but he is against it. We have communication issues. But, our most recent problem is he works all the time. He is in the middle of a huge project at work (which I completely understand) He went the whole month of july without 1 day off. He works very late on fridays and has been going in on Sat and Sun. I am feeling very neglected. I know that due to the nature of what he's doing at work the work needs to be done when the other employees are not there, but I still feel that this isn't right. End of last year we were talking of getting pregnant and now I never see him, if you know what I mean. I asked him to please take a day off and all he said was "you don't understand responsibility" I am bored at home all the time and have recently found myself talking with a male coworker on the phone to pass the time. I am just worried that his lack of attention with me will lead to "unfufilled needs" on my part and wandering eyes.
norajane Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Have you considered getting involved with something outside your house? Hobbies? Volunteering? Exercise? You know this project has an end, and you know how hard it must be for your hubby to have to work so much. This is the 'worse' part in for better or for worse. Support him through this and you'll come out stronger on the other side...and ready for that baby.
superconductor Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Why do you think he works so hard? It's not ego. It's not a demanding boss. It's not that he actually relishes the thought of working himself into an early coronary. It's to support you and the kids. Or would you prefer to him being unemployed?
LVspecB Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Why do you think he works so hard? It's not ego. It's not a demanding boss. It's not that he actually relishes the thought of working himself into an early coronary. It's to support you and the kids. Or would you prefer to him being unemployed? All good points. If he's been doing this for 10 years, he is officially a workaholic. Since he's only been buried in work for a month, he's just busy. Many jobs are entreprenurial in nature with cyclical demands on time. Your "home front" whining is only making an already tough time worse for both of you. Instead of getting your resentment, he should be feeling your support... LVspecB
MrsHellFire Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Just a suggestion: get a hobby or go back to school. Don't put energy into other men when your husband is working his aS$ off for you. Seriously, it's either complaints about men not working enough or working too hard. Obviously he takes his work seriously. Maybe you should get yourself into something you take seriously with your whole heart as well, but NOT AN AFFAIR> constructive hobbies.. not destructive ones.
Gunny376 Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 The XW divorced me because I was a "workaholic" I was in the freaking Marine Corps and a Senior DI at PI for 'Christ's' sake! The higher I went up in rank, the more demanding, and the more resosibilities I had! That's why they gave them to me. You want the nice house, the nice car, the nice things, but you expect him to provide them working 40 hours a week. Attorney's and Doctors make "good" money becuase they put in 60+ hours a week. Because they're on "call" 24/7! They make good money, because they work their azz off! People livinhg in Cuba on $15 a month, with a three pound meat a mouth meat ration, not being allowed to own a car have problems! You? You don't have any problems!
Blackfrost Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 You want the nice house, the nice car, the nice things, but you expect him to provide them working 40 hours a week. you forget (gunny) that alot of women think that money comes out of a hose, and the world needs to revolve around them or they're being cheated in life. This kind of cr@p just drives me nuts. Go out and get yourself a life (guest). Unless it was in your wedding vows, I doubt your hubby signed up to be your personal cruise director. gah.
blind_otter Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 maybe life isn't about accruing STUFF. Maybe it's sometimes better to have less and be happier. I'm just saying.
LittleLady Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 maybe life isn't about accruing STUFF. Maybe it's sometimes better to have less and be happier. I'm just saying. And then she'll probably complain about not being taken care of properly money-wise. It's a no win situation. Women just like to complain I guess, no matter what. Nothing is ever good enough. And to think you are actually thinking of getting pregnant, when you can't even control yourself and already want to stray. Geez.. unbelievable.
Moose Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Ok guys, cut her some slack...... I certainly understand where she's coming from, being through it myself. I'm the workaholic. I've been so busy lately, that even my friends on LoveShack thought I deserted them....that's pretty bad..... Much of my absence was/is due to my health. And just why is my health so bad? From working my behind off, that's why. Look, your husband has a goal. He has a job. He'll get to a point eventually where he'll have more time to spend with you. Until then, (unless you want him to get ill), support him. Love him. Nurture him. Be his helpmate. Lastly, sever this emotional affair with your co worker, like, NOW! You seem to not understand what you have here, and I'm afraid you'll find out the hard way....
ThumbingMyWay Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I've been so busy lately, that even my friends on LoveShack thought I deserted them....that's pretty bad..... Much of my absence was/is due to my health. And just why is my health so bad? From working my behind off, that's why. Well lookie here......Hello Moose!!! never neglect your "ME" time Moose. Take a "mental heath" day tomorrow. grab the golf clubs and go smack the ball around... or tell the wife to call in sick and the 2 of you take the kids to the zoo...
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 This sounds familiar... yes, my H is a workaholic, too! It wouldn't be a problem if I don't have a full-time job AND 3 kids to take care of. This woman is 'bored', mind you... and she has the gall to complain!
Guest Posted August 22, 2006 Posted August 22, 2006 Ok guys, cut her some slack...... I certainly understand where she's coming from, being through it myself. I'm the workaholic. I've been so busy lately, that even my friends on LoveShack thought I deserted them....that's pretty bad..... Much of my absence was/is due to my health. And just why is my health so bad? From working my behind off, that's why. Look, your husband has a goal. He has a job. He'll get to a point eventually where he'll have more time to spend with you. Until then, (unless you want him to get ill), support him. Love him. Nurture him. Be his helpmate. Lastly, sever this emotional affair with your co worker, like, NOW! You seem to not understand what you have here, and I'm afraid you'll find out the hard way.... Thanks for the encouragement, I certainly feel the anger by most folks from my post. Let me add a little to my story to see if I can explain why I complain. It's not just that he's at work alot. Even when he comes home. He is NOT HOME, if you get me. He doesn't seem to want to spend time with me. He resists any loving and TLC time I want to give him. I just feel like he's not as invested in us as he should be. I am not blaming it on the job, maybe it's something totally different (I personally think he has depression). But I am feeling neglected as a woman. I work a full time job too and although I we don't have kids yet I take care of all the housework and finances and errands and everythings else. All I'm asking for is a hug once and a while or something that shows he gives a sh*t. I bring him dinner in bed, rub his feet and always instigate any and all sex we have (and it's not much). I am not trying to be selfish, I just want a little affection.
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