Guest Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 January 2005, started to see a friend. Since we started seeing each other, we acted as if we were dating (girlfriend/boyfriend) but he didnt want the title to go with it. We were both in school and he was on a team so he bascially came home everytime he had a chance. It was great, Once summer arrived, he left early june and was due back in early September. I was in summer school finishing my degree when i started to see another guy. My beau started to get suspicous and sometime in August he found out I was seeing another man (the guy I was seeing while he was away contacted him and told him). To say the least we stopped talking. After a couple of months he gave me another chance and it didnt work. Then January 2006 we got back together. Everyday my infidelity was mentioned. He couldnt get over it, as time passed it seemed to get worse. If he saw a friend of ours have an argument with his girlfriend, he would start to fight with me. I reassured him i would never hurt him again. I even tattooed his name on me. I changed my phone number that way other people from my past couldnt contact me. I blocked everyone from my e-mail unless it was a friend he approved and finally he had access to all passwords and codes. From college I no longer had any friends. Career wise, I want to advance and get another job but he feels threatened by that so i decided not to for now. If I wanted to go out it was with him, if not i stayed home. Even if we had a fight I was scared of going out and him finding out, because he would never get back with me. Nothing was enough. Finally last week he said he needed a break for me to change. I had become a person that argued over small things and i found myself crying alot. During our "break" he called and texted but he had those days when i wouldnt hear from him the whole day. I'm so confused, dont know what to do. He thinks I owe him for what i did, so if he wants he could go out, hang out with his friends and i have no access to any passwords and he is allowed to be a jerk because i messed up in the past. I have asked for forgiveness so many times, i regret what i did. Please advise, any hope?
Tony T Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 This guy's a piece of crap. Step back and look at yourself. Look at the sacrifices you made, the way you changed and restricted your life just for him...you became somebody you didn't like and you lost a great deal of your freedom just for this guy. And now look what's happened. Never, ever stay with a guy you've got to stoop to such low levels to try to make happy...because it will never work. He's a dud...take your losses and run. He's a major loser and you need to get away from him. But you need some major work on how not to let people guilt manipulate you and how not to remain in abusive and controlling relationships more than a few seconds. Perhaps some counselling would help. Are you needing some help with self esteem issues. You are so much better off alone, yep...by yourself, than with a guy like this. If you do something that hurts somebody, apologize once. If they can't forgive and forget, hit the road. Staying with somebody who holds a grudge is like remaining in quicksand and watching yourself sink rather than going for firm dirt. This was such a bad situation for you. This guy smells from here...yuk!
Guest Posted August 23, 2006 Posted August 23, 2006 You are right, Its so hard. He calls says a few nice words and convinces me his actions are brought on by me, and I have to show him I'm different so he can trust me and move on. He says he has stuck by me through all and I should be able to do the same. If I do not then I will be demonstrating that I do not love him. I will so tired of putting but with him , but I have these weak moments and I convince myself that he is right and I should be there for him till he can surpass his insecurities. It's such a bad situation, I love him and I regret what I did.
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