SadGreenEyes Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 I have been involved in a trouble relationship for some time now. I moved in with my bf into his house a year ago and things have not improved. We decided it would be best that I move out. For over a year and a half I have been trying to fix this relationship. Anything that I have suggested or attempted has been unnoticed or just ignored. This is my problem - Stupid me is still in love with this man. I am moving because it is not my house and I have no say. According to boyfriend, this will be the BEST thing for our relationship...to take a break from each other, not live under the same roof. He says that once I move out, and if I want, we can still continue to date and see each other...wipe the slate clean, per say...and try to rebuild our relationship. My heart is broken into a million pieces over all of this. I am a firm believer in trying to fix things period. I do not believe in "taking breaks". I have become depressed...severly depressed. This whole situation is tearing me apart. I told him once that if I had to leave, I would never see him again, ever. Is it possible to be in a situation like this, move out, and try to rebuild your relationship without holding onto resentment? SGE
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Well I'm not sure how long you have been going out but if you moved in in the begining of the relationship, that is why everything is falling apart. Secondly, you need your own space between your SO. I don't see anything wrong with you moving out on his part. You can't fix something with out changing something and I think moving out would be good for you.
Agent M Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 I am trying to do the same thing as you now. The resentment is a big problem. I fought angry thoughts for 2 months, until I finally visited him. I have suggested we spend some time together, and like you, have told him if he doesn't want me around, I need to go away completely to heal. He didn't want me to go away completely, but declined to give me an answer as to when we could hang out. He said, lets let things unfold naturally and see what happens (he's kind of hippie dippy live in the moment blah blah blah). It's been only 2 days and I already feel resentment that he hasn't called or emailed. I'm also seriously bummed out. BUT, I'm trying to work on neutrality, having love and acceptance in my heart, and yes, letting things go as they would. I realize I don't get to decide what's right for anyone else, and in working on acceptance, it does take the anger out of my heart. I've also been typing my thoughts in emails to him, which I don't send. When I write them, I write with good thoughts and feelings for him. Sometimes putting on music that opens your heart helps. I'm still fighting to refrain from calling and from feelings of resentment, but hopefully some of these suggestions help.
Guest maxine Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 Dear SGE you are a better person than thatI married very young myself an lived with him for over 51 years an now I am 67 years old an been a widow for over a year, I am in a relationship almost like you he lives in one town an me the other,he dosen't want to commit to anything but wants his cake an eat it to an now I say to hell with men like him, there are to many fish in the pond besides him an what HE wants,I have feelings too,so I say get a grip on and tell him to go where the sun don't shine an good luck on finding you a good MAN. Be a woman an do NOT BOW DOWN TO HIS LEVEL OOOOOKKKKKKK>
keyete Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 I am in the same situation, except i got told that we could be friends, we could hang out & do the whole sex thing, but he just can't be in a relationship. And it just tears me to shreds, He tells me put it in god's hands & if it was meant to be then it will happen, I guess he doesn't realize it is hard to have faith & hope when he offers me nothing. I have texted him a few times & get nothing in response but it is soooo incredibly hard to just sit there & wait, wait for him to call, wait for him to come home, wait for him to come to the realization of... i don't know, just wake up & grow up. Our relationship was supposedly really great, we made a really good go of it. Well if it was really great why would you let it go? I just don't get men. How do you get past the heartache?
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