owcanbhppy Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 for those currently in affairs, do you use condoms or are you comfortable having unprotected sex?
stillhere Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 We do not use protection. Never have. He is fixed, and we don't have other partners. We trust each other completely.
Adunaphel Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 Having unprotected sex with someone you are having an affair with is pure madness. If he is married/has a partner, 1)you cannot be 100% sure he/she does not have any other partners, because you know he/she can lie. 2) you cannot be 100% sure his/her SO is not sleeping with other people. 3) He/she could not have been tested for STDs in a while. People in committed relationships do not get tested very often. 4)he/she could not sleep with other people (except with his/her SO,, if he/she is the one in a committed relationship), but he/she could have had other affairs before. 5)If he/she is willing to have unprotected sex with you, he might be/have been willing to trust other people, too. 6)You usually get tested for major STDs, but you can still get Chlamidia, herpes, and quite a lot of minor annoying sexually trasmitted problems. (I might preach well, but I had unprotected oral sex with a married guy some months ago, and I am an idiot. I should get tested, but I'm finding excuses with myself to temporize.) p.s. we are talking STDs, here - unprotected=no condoms, but other birth control methods, right?
No Stress Lady Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Having unprotected sex with someone you are having an affair with is pure madness. If he is married/has a partner, 1)you cannot be 100% sure he/she does not have any other partners, because you know he/she can lie. 2) you cannot be 100% sure his/her SO is not sleeping with other people. 3) He/she could not have been tested for STDs in a while. People in committed relationships do not get tested very often. 4)he/she could not sleep with other people (except with his/her SO,, if he/she is the one in a committed relationship), but he/she could have had other affairs before. 5)If he/she is willing to have unprotected sex with you, he might be/have been willing to trust other people, too. 6)You usually get tested for major STDs, but you can still get Chlamidia, herpes, and quite a lot of minor annoying sexually trasmitted problems. (I might preach well, but I had unprotected oral sex with a married guy some months ago, and I am an idiot. I should get tested, but I'm finding excuses with myself to temporize.) p.s. we are talking STDs, here - unprotected=no condoms, but other birth control methods, right? Good post! For me condoms have always been non-negotiable. By screwing someone who is screwing someone else (and MM usually ARE sleeping with their wives) without protection you put yourself, the MM's wife and the MM at risk - for me condoms have always been a MUST.
stillhere Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 I agree with the above 2, protection is a must, but my situation is different than some. He is not a whore, i'm not a whore, and his W is not a whore. This i know with 100% certainty. Thus, i feel safe not using protection. It is not something i'd advise, as not everyone truely knows their MM or his W, but i do. There are no lies between us.
Adunaphel Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 I agree with the above 2, protection is a must, but my situation is different than some. He is not a whore, i'm not a whore, and his W is not a whore. This i know with 100% certainty. Thus, i feel safe not using protection. It is not something i'd advise, as not everyone truely knows their MM or his W, but i do. There are no lies between us. I really hope you are not wrong. But remember that if his W does not know about the affair, she does not know him well enough, and if she does not, why should you? Also, there are many minor sexually transmitted STDs that people might nor be aware of - Chlamydia, Papiloma virus, a number of not dangerous but very annoying bacterial infections (just to name a few). Most people who "got tested" usually got tested for HIV, Hepatitis and the other 'big, bad and ugly' STDs, but (usually, expecially guys) not for minor diseases - expecially those of which guys can be carriers without being aware they are infected.
newbby Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 Having unprotected sex with someone you are having an affair with is pure madness. If he is married/has a partner, 1)you cannot be 100% sure he/she does not have any other partners, because you know he/she can lie. 2) you cannot be 100% sure his/her SO is not sleeping with other people. 3) He/she could not have been tested for STDs in a while. People in committed relationships do not get tested very often. 4)he/she could not sleep with other people (except with his/her SO,, if he/she is the one in a committed relationship), but he/she could have had other affairs before. 5)If he/she is willing to have unprotected sex with you, he might be/have been willing to trust other people, too. 6)You usually get tested for major STDs, but you can still get Chlamidia, herpes, and quite a lot of minor annoying sexually trasmitted problems. (I might preach well, but I had unprotected oral sex with a married guy some months ago, and I am an idiot. I should get tested, but I'm finding excuses with myself to temporize.) p.s. we are talking STDs, here - unprotected=no condoms, but other birth control methods, right? while this is true, i think most ow dont have an a with a guy who they believe to be a serial cheater. i think most ow believe they are the first and only one. whilst this may be a risky thing to believe, most are already taking that risk with their emotional and mental health. the chances of them also taking the risk with their physical health is quite high. for the record i didnt not ever have full intercourse with my exmm.
Guest Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 We always use protection! Neither one of us would have it any other way. I know he has sex with his wife, and who knows if she is having sex with someone other than him? for those currently in affairs, do you use condoms or are you comfortable having unprotected sex?
Guest Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 There are no lies between us. Hmmm, I thought, bet this isn't quite true. So I looked at some of your old posts and on 6 May you said this - I did see a guy while i was with my MM (he doesn't know about him and never will).. Now, what makes you think he hasn't done the same? Let's imagine that barbecue him and his wife held, where one of her friends got a little bit drunk and he had to take her home. They had a bit of a quick one in the back seat..... do you think he'd ever tell you? In the same way you "know" you trust him, he trusts you too doesn't he? Without good reason it would seem. I also see your MM is a very jealous person.... you should know that the most madly jealous people are usually the ones cheating themselves - to cover up their own guilt they smokescreen. His jealousy could be a big indicator that he's slipped a few times himself since he's been with you. Not that this will mean much to you, because after all, there are no lies between you are there?
stillhere Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Yes, i dated a "friend" for a short week in the beginning.............ok, you got me. One lie. But if he did ask me, i would tell him...........i just haven't came out and told him that a friend was hanging around. Other than that, no other lies. That i guarantee. And no, she would never ever do that to him. I know him better than he knows himself, and the same goes for him with me. I am not going to sit here and try to defend myself or him, i will be picked apart regardless. I know this man, and i am not worried. I was his first A, and can guarantee i will be his last. I was tested before him and while i've been with him for everything, so i know we are both clean. I have no worries.
whichwayisup Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Thus, i feel safe not using protection. It is not something i'd advise, as not everyone truely knows their MM or his W, but i do. There are no lies between us. Stillhere, he's lying to his wife about you. Don't think that he hasn't ever lied to you. And, honestly, you don't know 100% that his wife has never messed around on him. Even if she hasn't, what if she gets a yeast infection, passes it on to him, unknowingly, then you get it...Never say never (even though a yeast infection isn't serious, it's still a pain to have) I just wouldn't put all your eggs in one basket with a MM. I hope you're right and you never catch anything from him.
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