how do I stop him from calling 10 times a day without hurting him

[alleycatz]

I've been separated for 5 months after a 20 year relationship and 3 kids. He knows I'm not coming back but he rings me at least 10 times every day. I don't mind being his friend but he needs to let go and stop ringing me for nothing. Sometimes he just says I just wanted to hear your voice. I've had enough but I don't want to be mean as I do understand how lonely he must be, but he doesn't seem to be helping himself. Everytime he starts to get better he gets back into his I'm so sad stage. I don't know how much more I can take. I still care about what happens to him, but phone calls every day is too much let alone 10 times a day. Any one got any ideas.

[stoopid_guy]

Tell him? Does your phone have an option to not ring or block certain numbers?

 

And if that doesn't work, change your number.

[Adunaphel]

Explain him that you'd rather he stopped calling because he is making things harder for you. That you are not going to change your mind but still hearing him so often makes it difficult to you to heal. That you care about him, but you have to take care of yourself first, that you hope he'll understand this and that you'll be glad to be there for him if he needs you as a friend once you have healed and moved on but you couldn't handle it now.

[dgiirl]

I'd tell him everything you just wrote. I'd also not answer the phone right away.

[destination_unknown]

See I don't think the OP can block his number because they have kids together, what if there was some kind of emergency?

 

OP, my sister has had this problem with her ex husband. She left after he cheated like a million times. And she is never going back but he is holding on to hope and keeps trying to get her back. What she is doing, and its starting to work is - everytime he says anything that isnt related to the kids/business is: "We are not in a relationship anymore and we wont be in the future so all we should discuss is our children." Like a mantra. Its very frustrating for him obviously, but it will sink in. You cant try explaining it a million different ways to make him understand that your relationship is over. He has to come to that realisation himself.

[Gunny376]

The same way you would tell me if I was calling you ten times a day.

 

Quit calling me! Got it! Don't forget it! I know its hard, but it over, and we've got to move on! (From DGirl) you're part of my past, not my present, not my future, and I'm the same for you! You need to go and find yourself a new girlfriends or wife ~ because I'n no longer your girl! I've got other things and PEOPLE on my mind, and its not YOU! Just that plain, and just that simple.

[Ozzy1122]

Just be careful that your not giving him any false hope. I am going through this and I called my wife alot for a while. She isn't sure yet and she gave me alot of mixed signals. It took time to figure out that no matter the outcome, leaving her alone is best. Its hard but I'm glad she didn't be mean about it.