Adam Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 Hello my name is Adam i'm 22 years old, my girlfriend of 4 years just recently broke up with me. Heres the story... I met her when she was 15 she was dating one of my friends and i didnt really find think anything of it but as time went on she broke up with him and we started talking as friends well she started to be a really good friend...then love came. We were both young she is 3 years younger than me (19) right now. She has cheated on me before i have on her but we forgave each other. We went to Florida 2 years ago and Vegas and everything normal couples don't do at our ages, and i usally payed the bill. But last year we broke up for 6 months and in that 6 because i started yelling at her and calling her names because i was drunk and started to remember the times when she cheated on me so she broke up with me and i got no phone calls awnsered and nothing even though i was writing her notes and leaving mixed "love" cds on her car, and flowers and all that. Well she moved for 2 months into her first apartment with her girlfriends and i was a stalker always driving up and down the street to see if any guys were over or what, then she started seeing this guy for a month..that didnt last, then she started seeing this guy named Collin on the sixth month and i started to see this girl named Nicole well she started to call me once she saw my myspace with a new girl and that i was leaving her alone...kinda like wheres my safety net gone? So we got back together. 2006 January-March everything was fine but then she broke up with me for 3 days out of nowhere i begged her what did i do she didnt have an awnser, the on the third day called me back and wanted me back. I took her back. Everything was fine from then on we went on a 10 day trip to Las Vegas in July. Now heres where everything went crazy. The next day after we got back from the trip she got a new cell phone and a new number well she posed as the girl i was dating for a month when we broke up "Nicole" and was saying stuff like "we should get together tonight no one has to know" and stuff to trap me well i didnt say anything wrong but later that day she told me she wanted to break up because it was her and i didnt tell her that she called i convinced her that i said nothing wrong and i guess she agreed. We stayed together. Then 2 weeks later i was looking at her new phone at the pics on it and she came out of the bathroom and was like what are you doing going thru my phone you dont trust me i cant do this anymore and i told her to calm down i was just looking at the pictures. The next day i go to WAL-MART with my buddies and run into her ex Collin and im like omg he works here! I didnt know that. He saw me and we met eyes and as soon as i turned back around he was gone. I let it go didnt tell her i saw him. Then heres where it all goes crazy. We wake up in the morning a few days later and she is like i need to go to Meijers to get some undershirts for College. I said ok, but i asked her how come we never go to Wal-Mark anymore she said i dont know, i said do you know somebody who works there and she said yes, COLLIN!! I freaked out! How the hell did you know that!! She Said i ran into him 3 months ago!! I SAID WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME WHAT THE F!@#$! YOUR SUCH A SLUT! And that was it! She broke up with me said i cant do this anymore and that was that. The next day i bought her $87 dollars worth of flowers and balloons and a big bear to say im sorry and i didnt mean it also with the 1000 voicemail messages i left her she had to know that after 4 years i didnt mean it! But no i got nothing no responce then after 6 days of not talking to her i had a gut feeling to drive by Collins house and guess whos car was in the drive way...HERS!!! I flipped out and started crying and i just dont know what to do know!! Did i get used? Was she just waiting for a way out? Doesnt she love me? How after a week? Did i really do something that was that bad by calling her that? She knows im sorry i hope EVERYBODY DOES! Why did she go back with him? He has less money then me, a crappy-er car! HEs a LOSER!!! The night before she just told me how much she loved me and now this! I dont get it...so now its like how do i get her back do i act like i left the planet? (no calls, e-mails, flowers) or is this just a typical 19 year old wanting to experience what else is out there? I mean i never did drugs and she smokes weed, did coke, drinks, and i would always tell her not to do that. Why do drugs if your going to college to get a job, Jobs give drug tests and she would always say i dont need another father! But i dont get how after all this time she can just walk away so easy and im so tempted to call her, why doesnt she have that moment of weekness or does she just assume i will always be around? Please help me and tell me what i should do. Im not a bad looking guy but i really just wanted her and i wanted to Marry her! Please help sorry this is so long! ~Adam
Heavenseventeen Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 I'll respond as I read your post: 1. I think first of all that the age gap played some part. Your mind frame was more mature than hers from the start. And when someone cheats on you, and you say that you forgave them, you have to mean it, otherwise (like in your case), you will end up bringing it up over and over again. I think that you should have gone your own way then. 2. You need to sort the drinking issue out. There are times when you won't be able to blame events on simply "being too drunk". Dealing with that first is more important than this girl. Unfortunately poor Colin and Nicole got used. You shouldn't go with someone else on the rebound, otherwise you're simply spreading the hurt around. Be happy (or at least content) with yourself before sharing your heart with another. Your girlfriend only wanted you because she couldn't have you. A tease who likes to be in control. A complete waste of your time. 3. Her going through your phone shows that BOTH of you cannot trust each other, showing that even from this stage the relationship was doomed to fall apart. In conclusion: Yeah, you did get used. But Colin is probably being used too so don't get jealous and start stalking them PLEASE. She is clearly an emotionally unstable woman, so she's seeking out a emotionally stable man- BUT- then you started to become emotionally unstable too, so she goes off on her journey all over again... She does not and never did love you. Loving someone does not involve hurting them for the sake of it. Adam this girl seems to be looking for sort some of a father figure. She is young and doesn't care about who she hurts. Maybe one day she'll hurt the wrong person and learn an important lesson- I don't know... You need to cut yourself off from this girl right NOW. She is bad news. Not only could you get in trouble for the stalking, but having drugs on your premises with your knowledge.
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