Guest Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 I have an account here, but I prefer not to log in for now. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. We've been through a lot, too, but we've always worked through it. For the last few months, I've been happier than ever before, and I felt like we could be together forever. Last night he confessed to me that sometimes he feels doubt concerning me. Sometimes he even feels indifferent, or like coming to see me is some sort of chore. He told me as he said it that he knows it is not how a relationship should be, and that I am a wonderful person and don't deserve it. He says that sometimes he can't even feel himself around me, and that he's trying to change. Of course, this discovery hurt me immensely: I had no idea. I thought everything was going along beautifully, only to find out that he can't be himself around me? That being with me sometimes felt like a chore? That he took me for granted? He called this morning, insisting that he loves me, and that he wants to work on this. But I don't know what to do. I feel decieved; I gave him my true self, my love, and he was holding himself back, afraid just to be himself? He assumes that he can just start acting more himself and everything will be alright again. But he has hurt me more deeply than he knows. I'm not sure what to do. Should I stay with him, and try to work it out, even though my trust in him has been slashed? Or should I take his doubts as a warning of the relationship cooling on his end, and end it now, saving myself the later heartache of a slow and painful breakup? It's so hard to say. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
norajane Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 Maybe it's become too easy, too predictable, and he IS taking you for granted. So, don't let him! Have you been bending over backwards to accommodate him? ARe you always availabe to see him? Have you focused your life around him? Do you have interests outside of this relationship? Maybe you need to be more of a challenge, a little harder to get in order for him to value you. Make him work a little.
Recommended Posts