linn949 Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 Please read my thread in Breaking up-Update,Shes26-Hes47,see how people are hurt over the other womem/man
lovernotafighter Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 you caught them talking and flipped out..I realise it could be a affair but by your description why would he cheat with her? factorys always spread rumours about people,they don't have to be true to be talked about..ever think it was possible they really are just friends and your reaction is why they kept it a secret? I am a OW now but we were friends a year prior to any of the EA/ or PA and according to my MM her reaction would be the same regaurdless of what we did. I have a feeling your H is actually telling you the truth but seeing that he has no other options he's leaving. I am sorry for your pain but it doesn't sound like your giving him a chance at all.
stillhere Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 I agree with LNF, you did not give him a fair chance. I am friends with other MM, and sometimes we talk secretly because they are having problems, and they trust me enough and come to me for help. I've talked to one particular MM for hours, just to keep his mind occupied so as he doesn't do something stupid and find himself in a messed up situation (like drinking and driving). I realize that his W (from the sounds of things, soon to be ex W) would not be thrilled to know that we are talking, but it is absolutely harmless. There is nothing going on between us. It really sucks sometimes that SOME women can be so overly jealous about another woman talking to their man. It's called "friendship" and men have a hard time talking their problems out with other men. Maybe he was looking to her for help, because he was afraid to talk to you. Because apparently, you fly off the handle pretty easily! Just my opinion.
Author linn949 Posted August 19, 2006 Author Posted August 19, 2006 This is how it started,7m ago I found a # in his wallet he Lied Big time, about where he meet this girl every thing the lies were so exstensive you would not believe.He was always late on certain days why he didnt know? He was always calling her when I wasnt home,didnt go to our grandaughters b-party,didnt feel well, he was seen with her in the Park that day by a friend, when I did catch him and her together, he finally told me who she was,co worker from work,just "friends",I told him if there relationship was friends than why not tell me when I found the # didnt he tell me who she was,he had become friends, lets get together with her and her husband,lets invite them over,to the camper what ever but, he chose to keep this Friendship a secret? I talked to this girl a few times, she told me HE-Both knew this was hurting me and it was up to him to tell me how far there friendship had gone, I told my SO if you knew this was hurting me than why keep this friendship going? she and Him? why not say "my relationship of 20 years is more important than a co-worker friendship with this 26y old" I know my SO was always wanting to try the swingger fantasys but he said he couldnt stand the thought of seeing any one with me but he wouls really love to try a mfm!!Well as it turns out I did find out that the 26y old and her husband are very into this life style, one of the reasons her husband keep the lies his wife told me,See this isnt a case where I just out of the blue walked up to my SO and her talking!!!and if that were just it than why after he moved to our camper was he telling me that every fri he looks for me at the camper but on a friday there at the park in her car talking,1st he told me they were talking about work than 4 weeks later he tells me she wanted to talk to him about the problems she and her husband were having? couldnt keep his lies straight?This women knows EVERYTHING going on in our life,maybe he needed to talk to me instead of trying to work out our problems talking to her? Our problems were her and him I knew for months there was something going on and she and he both admitted this was our problem>
Author linn949 Posted August 19, 2006 Author Posted August 19, 2006 Also tell me what kind of marriage advise is a 26year old going to give a 47 year old man whos been there and done all this before,I was the OW 20 years ago.He forgot I have been there heard the lies and know how he acts.Besides he admitted had I done all this he would tell the guy he could have me and he would be gone,double standards or what........Giving him a chance? when he came home for 6 days he finally told me he came home because she wanted him to so all the Bull Sh** would stop,he never said it was because he was sorry..for anything
Author linn949 Posted August 19, 2006 Author Posted August 19, 2006 Dont you think a man who is being accused and didnt do anything would do about anything to show the women he Loves nothing is going on??????I would have
Author linn949 Posted August 19, 2006 Author Posted August 19, 2006 Lets not forget For 7 months I begged, pleaded, cryed for him to talk to me go to counsling, I KNOW I did everything in my power to make this work,
newbby Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 lin, your posts are hard to read, but it sounds as though you are well rid of him. i think you are rid of him? i think you need to work on healing yourself from this now.
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