a4a Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Why should I give my girlfriend the luxury of feeling comfortable when I don't feel comfortable? QUOTE] :lmao: so needy that he has to control how other people feel. How kind of him. She is happy I am not so I must attempt to make her miserable. Dude........ therapy....... just do it.
john1775 Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I am lighting candles and sacraficing chickens in hopes that this woman comes to her senses and dumps you ASAP. Dude you are so screwed up it is not funny. You are just plain mean to this woman..... selfish, manipulative, and just mean. Come on now, what you are really hoping for is a big dramatic break up. You are indeed settting up the scene for one. For her sake hurry up and dump her. You are acting like a baby, a big crying selfish baby. Do you really think she owes you anything? Do you really think you can trick her into making you feel less insecure? I don't owe her anything either. It's my body and I have a right to decide for myself who gets to touch me and who doesn't. I don't owe her the luxury of that. What's selfish is that you women expect a man to have sex on your terms. You don't believe it has to be mutual.
Ripples Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Several people have asked if John1776 is real, I think maybe the more pertinent question to ask is is his girlfriend real
a4a Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I don't owe her anything either. It's my body and I have a right to decide for myself who gets to touch me and who doesn't. I don't owe her the luxury of that. What's selfish is that you women expect a man to have sex on your terms. You don't believe it has to be mutual. It has nothing to do with your sex life...... the fact that what you stated above and in many other posts........ Yes sex and a relationship is mutal, one partner should not try to cause the other to be unhappy on purpose.......which is what you are doing with your manipulation. Do you sit wringing your hands thinking up these tactics to use on her?
john1775 Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Several people have asked if John1776 is real, I think maybe the more pertinent question to ask is is his girlfriend real I have no reason to lie on a message board. It would not benefit me at all to do so. I don't get paid to post here. I don't lie unless it's going to benefit me in some way. At the end of the day whether anyone thinks I'm real or not is not going to effect me one way or the other in the offline world.
john1775 Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 It has nothing to do with your sex life...... the fact that what you stated above and in many other posts........ Yes sex and a relationship is mutal, one partner should not try to cause the other to be unhappy on purpose.......which is what you are doing with your manipulation. Do you sit wringing your hands thinking up these tactics to use on her? Oh come off your high horse. Even if I did have a legitimate excuse for not having sex with her you would still accuse me of being selfish and controlling.
Pink Amulet Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I don't lie unless it's going to benefit me in some way. That's the kind of attitude that will take you far in life my friend
Pink Amulet Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Oh come off your high horse. Even if I did have a legitimate excuse for not having sex with her you would still accuse me of being selfish and controlling. So you admit your excuse is not legitimate?
john1775 Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 The same could be said of many posters on here. I often wonder how many posters on here are for real as well or just making up stories. But you know what it's not my problem. If somebody is making up a story on this board it's not going to help or benefit them in any way, shape or form unless they are desperately seeking friends here. As for me LS is not a place to make friends. I don't give out my contact information to anybody and I don't PM anybody. I have no interest in doing so. For those of you who are skeptical about me you know you don't have to respond to my posts. Nobody's forcing you to read my threads. I would suggest you place me on ignore if you find my posts disturbing. I've already placed one person on ignore a few nights ago.
a4a Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Oh come off your high horse. Even if I did have a legitimate excuse for not having sex with her you would still accuse me of being selfish and controlling. Like I said you are selfish and controlling...... it has nothing to do with the sex...... dude....... what are you really looking for by posting here..... advice? help? or attention?
a4a Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Sorry John you are right...... it is obvious you are not selfish and controlling. Your posts do show how much you care for your gf's feelings, how worried you are about her happiness, and how important it is to you to be the best possible bf for her.
Pink Amulet Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I've already placed one person on ignore a few nights ago. *raises hand* Wohoo, It was me... Does that men I can rip the **** out of this selfish little twit and not get banned? After all ignorance is bliss and all that...
Ripples Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 *raises hand* Wohoo, It was me... Does that men I can rip the **** out of this selfish little twit and not get banned? After all ignorance is bliss and all that... LMAO!!!
littlekitty Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Actually it's more along the lines of what caliguy would say if he was here "a balanced man establishes boundaries and enforces reprecussions when a woman crosses them." Why should I give my girlfriend the luxury of feeling comfortable when I don't feel comfortable? I want her to have the same doubts that I have about her. I want her to wonder "is he just not into me anymore" like I'm wondering about her. I'm preparing for the worst case scenario. If she's really into me then she'll be persistant about wanting sexual contact with me. If not then she'll just give up initiating after 1 or 2 times. Were you even around when Cali was posting all that? Did you converse with him on his meanings? And are you going to simply live your life by another person's rules (albeit someone you've never met)? I'm pretty sure from reading Cali's various postings, that playing silly little games like you are, wasn't what Cali was referring to. Establishing boundries and having repercussions when they are crossed is part of every relationship. Playing mind games and over analysing every action isn't and shouldn't be.
john1775 Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I'm operating on the premise that she did intentionally withold sexual contact with me. As one poster said who's to say she really did have her period? Well the boundary I have set up is no sexual contact initiated by me for at least a month and any sexual contact she initiates for the next 2 weeks will be declined. I've learned one thing from LS and that is to never take advice from a woman on how to fix my relationship with a woman. Why? because women are biased and will blindly take my girlfriend's side regardless of who's right or wrong. They are not looking out for my best interest at all. I'm the one posting here not her. I have read plenty of caliguy's threads and yes he advocates being a challenge in the relationship and not calling too much and taking things slow. I've also read lots of articles and booklets on why nice guys always finish last. I don't want to be the nice guy.
Pink Amulet Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I don't want to be the nice guy. I certainly don't think he will have any trouble with this one...
a4a Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Why? because women are biased and will blindly take my girlfriend's side regardless of who's right or wrong. They are not looking out for my best interest at all. I'm the one posting here not her. . ahhh many LS posters often take the side of the man. But in this case you are way off base with your treatment of your gf.... not anything to do with the sex but your manipulation, need to control, and your deep deep insecurity. If you were posting this as a gay man about a male lover, a lesbian, or as a woman I do believe you would get a similar thrashing for your immature attitude towards your partner. And indeed you have been advised over and over to seek therapy by many posters on many threads therefore posters are posting advice in your best interest indeed. But if you are posting and waiting for a person to agree with you then by all means continue, hell, I will help you out. Do not give in to her no matter what. She should be begging you for sex, still do not give in. She does lie, that is what all women do. She is only into herself. Lie to her if it benefits you. Ignore her desires. Your happiness is paramount no matter what. If she does not meet your every need within 2 hours be sure that you set up consequences and stick to them. Play games, this will keep her on her toes and will make her putty in your hands. If you pland to continue this relationship then indeed take control now. I would suggest that you give her a to do list daily on expect her to follow it. She should provide you with sexual gratification regardless if in ICU, recently dismembered, or during any other medical emergency that may arise. Be the man...... that way she will always be begging for more.
littlekitty Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I'm operating on the premise that she did intentionally withold sexual contact with me. As one poster said who's to say she really did have her period? Well the boundary I have set up is no sexual contact initiated by me for at least a month and any sexual contact she initiates for the next 2 weeks will be declined. I've learned one thing from LS and that is to never take advice from a woman on how to fix my relationship with a woman. Why? because women are biased and will blindly take my girlfriend's side regardless of who's right or wrong. They are not looking out for my best interest at all. I'm the one posting here not her. I for one, would not take side, but will simply pass my opinion. I don't know you or yoru girlfriend. However, when it is clear that someone is acting in a selfish way (be they male or female) I feel I should give them my honest opinion on that. I don't believe with holding sex is correct from either partner. To do it as a punishment is just... WTF? How suspicious do you have to be to imagine your gf is lying about having a period?! Get a life! Not all women constantly want to f*ck the bejesus out of their partners. And not all women want to f*ck during their period. I have read plenty of caliguy's threads and yes he advocates being a challenge in the relationship and not calling too much and taking things slow. I've also read lots of articles and booklets on why nice guys always finish last. But your perception of what's being said, and the way you are implementing what you're reading... it's way off what's meant. Being a challenge and taking things slowly is absolutely possible while still being open and honest and loving towards your partner. There is no need for the games you play. I don't want to be the nice guy. Well here... I grant you success.
Fun2BMe Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Am I correct that she is your first sexual partner? I ask that because whenever I am seeing someone and they learn that I am on my period, either a) I find out that the guy does not want to have sex if I am on my period or b) they always ask me if I really want to have sex, that they understand if I don't. I've never had a situation where the guy reacts like you, all upset and not understanding of a woman's cycle. Maybe you are new. This relationship is headed to disaster zone with your attitude towards her and taking it personal as if it is about you. So down the line you will learn more about women. I feel bad for this girl to be in the dark about how you are all taking everything as if it has to do with you. The solution isn't for you to find a girl who is ok having sex on her period, but for you to change your attitude and have enough esteem to know that her period has nothing to do with you. Or should I say have less of an ego?
norajane Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 But if you are posting and waiting for a person to agree with you then by all means continue, hell, I will help you out. Do not give in to her no matter what. She should be begging you for sex, still do not give in. She does lie, that is what all women do. She is only into herself. Lie to her if it benefits you. Ignore her desires. Your happiness is paramount no matter what. If she does not meet your every need within 2 hours be sure that you set up consequences and stick to them. Play games, this will keep her on her toes and will make her putty in your hands. If you pland to continue this relationship then indeed take control now. I would suggest that you give her a to do list daily on expect her to follow it. She should provide you with sexual gratification regardless if in ICU, recently dismembered, or during any other medical emergency that may arise. Be the man...... that way she will always be begging for more. If you've ever been on AskMen.com (a male version of Cosmo), you'll find Doc Love and "The System"...this is exactly the sort of thing Doc Love advises those 'nice guys' who never get the girl. John is following The System - complete with gauging interest levels and rigid rules about calling/not calling - down to a T. It's the male version of "The Rules" as written by those women a decade or so ago...hold out on everything to make them want you more.
john1775 Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Am I correct that she is your first sexual partner? I ask that because whenever I am seeing someone and they learn that I am on my period, either a) I find out that the guy does not want to have sex if I am on my period or b) they always ask me if I really want to have sex, that they understand if I don't. I've never had a situation where the guy reacts like you, all upset and not understanding of a woman's cycle. Maybe you are new. This relationship is headed to disaster zone with your attitude towards her and taking it personal as if it is about you. So down the line you will learn more about women. I feel bad for this girl to be in the dark about how you are all taking everything as if it has to do with you. The solution isn't for you to find a girl who is ok having sex on her period, but for you to change your attitude and have enough esteem to know that her period has nothing to do with you. Or should I say have less of an ego? No she is not my first girlfriend nor my first sexual partner. I've dated women before who didn't want sex during their periods and I thought back then that it was normal. I was such a naive nice guy at that time. Everything I've learned now has been recent. All these boundaries I've set up in the relationship are recent. I wasn't always like this during the whole 3.5 years we've been together. Up until a few months ago I was soft and naive and didn't know anything about nice guys finishing last and I didn't know anything about the signs that a woman is not into you.
Fun2BMe Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Hey I would take it a step further. The next time she's not in the mood to watch TV and another time wants to, pull the plug out on her! If she is not hungry when you are (how dare her!) and another time asks to eat, make her starve! Don't let her make a nice guy out of you and take advantage of you with her needs, as if she is a separate entity than you. I am rooting for you.
The slayer Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 No she is not my first girlfriend nor my first sexual partner. I've dated women before who didn't want sex during their periods and I thought back then that it was normal. I was such a naive nice guy at that time. Everything I've learned now has been recent. All these boundaries I've set up in the relationship are recent. I wasn't always like this during the whole 3.5 years we've been together. Up until a few months ago I was soft and naive and didn't know anything about nice guys finishing last and I didn't know anything about the signs that a woman is not into you. I suspect John that everything you have "learnt" recently has been rubbish. By the way, are you still reading her emails?
mishy Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 John, Honestly, womens sexual appetite is really governed by their hormones- and i know that when i have my period, my body is saying NO to sex. Honestly you are being so self centred and until you have a period yourself you will never understand what it is like to have one and how it is painful and sometimes gross. IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!!!
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