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When does the "Newness fizzle out??"


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Guest - Tiff
Posted

Ok, I noticed that in one of the posts that when an EX finally decides to come back if he/she does come back its usually after 2 years or so...It seems like the ex is with someone new for a year 1/2 or 2 years and then the excitement and newness of that relationship starts to where off, then the ex realizes that this person is not so great after all, that the grass is not as green on the otherside and he/she wants to come back to you...

 

What are peoples thoughts and experiences on that??

Posted

Hi Guest - Tiff,

 

I ve been on this forum for around 8 months now. There is also another forum where I read that the `newness`, period, or otherwise known as the `honeymoon` period. The period in which case lasts around 3 months or so. Although due to my relationship it was around the 5 to 6 month period. (I was in a LDR though)

 

Then again it is quite hard to define what the honeymoon period is. What I mean here is that couple who embark on a LDR (long distance relationship). Their honeymoon period lasts longer. The reason for this is becasue they don`t see each other that often.

 

Normally I would agree its around the 3 to 6 month period. This is when couples get comfortable with each other, and they start to notice particular traits or bad habits they see in their partner given the period of time in months.

Posted

No girl I've ever dated has ever wanted to come back to me.

Posted

All of my old boyfriends wanted me back!:p

Posted
Ok, I noticed that in one of the posts that when an EX finally decides to come back if he/she does come back its usually after 2 years or so...It seems like the ex is with someone new for a year 1/2 or 2 years and then the excitement and newness of that relationship starts to where off, then the ex realizes that this person is not so great after all, that the grass is not as green on the otherside and he/she wants to come back to you...

 

What are peoples thoughts and experiences on that??

I've always heard roughly a year, but there's a wide range and a lot of factors.

 

Now, if you're waiting around for an ex to get tired of his "new" friend and come back to you? Don't. Get on with your life. Yes, it's possible, anything's possible, but it's not likely enough for you to wait around for.

Posted

The honeymoon period can last for up to 18 months, so I read.

 

BTW, if an ex goes off into another relationship and returns to you and only wants you back because he/she didn't like what they saw/had with another person, then why would you want them back?

Posted
The honeymoon period can last for up to 18 months, so I read.

 

BTW, if an ex goes off into another relationship and returns to you and only wants you back because he/she didn't like what they saw/had with another person, then why would you want them back?

 

I agree. They had their chance. Besides, the ONE time I did get back with one it was a disaster. That's why I'm not too big on second chances.

Posted

Guess yes there is a honey moon phase and after that you are very comfortable and more likely to revaluate your realationship. I used to post threads relating to this and honestly there really not good to read, you will have people tell you OH YES all the time or 2 years later, all that does is give you false hope. You gotta move on, the cold hard truth and in time you will be feeling better. Yes anything is possible but if you hope for it or wait for it, you will only be hurting your self..but don't worry Im with you on that one. A guy at my school broke up with his first love and 10 months later wants her back, now he feels exactly the way she felt and honestly they desearve to feel like that and to learn a lesson.

Posted
No girl I've ever dated has ever wanted to come back to me.

 

Same here. Not after years of NC and moving on, anyways. I mean, my current S.O. has broken it off a few times, but always came back after a couple of days (although this time, I think it's final; it's been 6 weeks :( but he won't commit to NC).

 

I hear that sometimes it happens. The ex matures and learns and realizes what they want, and come back. I just can't speak from personal experience. I think I would be weary if an ex came back after a year or two. I don't think I'd be able to trust them.

Guest - Tiff
Posted

Thanks everyone for your responses. I am moving on...Its been a year since my breakup with my exBF and I'm getting so much stronger and I'm dating now and finally enjoying being single. He and I were together for 10+ years so as you can imagine, I'm still grieving the relationship since we were together for so long but I have finally accepted the fact that he is with another woman. It took this entire year to accept that he is gone and has moved on to another relationship. I am JUST moving on now, enjoying life again but from time to time, I still get that twinge of hope that things will not work out with him and the new GF. Sending this email...was one of those times :)

 

I will end this response by saying...."When 1 door closes, the other 1 opens by the wait inbetween is HELL!!

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