a4a Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I think it's very easy to get stuck. When I was going through my reading frenzie of self help books, one book mentioned that it's easy to get addicted to grief. You reach a point where you have to make a decision to either let go of the pain, or hold on to it. Holding onto it, allows you to stay connected to the past, which is a little comforting. ! Yeppers........ choice....... you have choice. At times I think people cling to the past to attempt to validate their failings of today. My mommy was not good to me so that is why my marriage sucks today...... NO! My marriage sucks today because I am not putting the effort into it today. If you crap your pants are you going to keep sitting in it thinking about how shytty it is? or maybe you should just change your damn pants?
Outcast Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Obsessing about the past is a form of OCD. It's the O in 'OCD'. I was with someone who continually obsessed about the wrongs done to him long past, too. It was part of an overall disorder. Dude, get help. Your whole rest of your life will suck unless you do.
dgiirl Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Thanks LJ Gosh I just read back on my old posts and it's quite embarrassing lol HAHAHAH omg a4a. I started crying over here.
Mz. Pixie Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 failings of today. My mommy was not good to me so that is why my marriage sucks today...... Well I have a little more sympathy for people who have been victims as children-because they had no control in what happened. The betrayed spouse or the one left- well at some point in most all of these situations they played a bit of a part in the demise of their marriage. People that continue to play the victim once they are adults- yeah, they need to get a grip.
amaysngrace Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 I know it's got to be upsetting for him to feel like people are being critical... but MzP is right, we're not helping him if we support him in his inertia. I agree. Joining him in his pity party isn't going to help him. It's a fuel to keep him going. And why would anyone want to assist to keep him in this self-destructing pattern of thinking? That isn't truly helping.
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