Guest Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I've known my boyfriend now for half a year, but we've only really been together for about 2 and a half months because it has been a long distance thing. He is really good to me and treats me like gold. He introduced me to his family and we go there for dinners. He know my family, brought them presents when he met them. Everything is good for the most part except that we've never said the sentence which consists of those three little words.... I want to say it to him, but I don't want to be the first to say it, then if he doesn't say it back i don't want to feel bad or something. Once I asked him something about feelings and he said it was hard for him to define them but that he cared a lot for me. One thing is clear: HIS ACTIONS SPEAK VOLUMES, meaning that everything he does shows he cares about me:every morning before he leaves the appartment to go to work he hugs me for a long time, looks deeply into my eyes, kisses me and says 'bye now' then when I see him after he always hugs and kisses me for a long moment when we re-unite. If I have to go somewhere he is the first to start helping me look for the right bus to take or to advise me to take things i might need. He spends all his free time with me, never gets upset or critical. Many other guys I was with before said, "I love you" very fast in the eary part of the relationship, but usually they turned out to be liars and sometimes cheaters and none of them ever treated me with such respect as this one does. I do wish he would say it though. There is a name of a book with my first name titled, "J, my love" I once jokingly asked him if I was "J" his love and he responded my kissing me on the lips. Should I not worry about this and let it come in time or should I be concerned that he hasn't said it yet???? Are there any ways to have a conversation where this can come out easy?? Thanks
bluechocolate Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 .... I want to say it to him, but I don't want to be the first to say it, then if he doesn't say it back i don't want to feel bad or something. Maybe he's thinking the same thing. Just butch up & say it if you mean it. And when you do, don't have an expectation of a similar response. You're not telling someone you love them because you expect them to say the same in return, you're telling him because you mean it. Saying 'I love you' is not a quid-pro-quo. If you think it will be too painful not to hear the same back, then say nothing.
norajane Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 Why do you so badly need him to say it? You've been a couple for only a couple of months...why rush the good part? Enjoy what you have together, savor it, feel secure in it, and when he is ready, when his heart is full, he will tell you. It's much sweeter that way than to push him into saying it.
superconductor Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 There's always a good time to use the word. For instance, I love my new car!Doncha just find that love stuff all sappy & sentimental?No score in the tennis match, it's love-loveA cheeseburger, large fries, orange pop... oh, and onion rings, I love those... ... etc...
Rikka Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 Say it when you feel it's right. As bluechocolate said, you aren't just saying it so you can hear it back. It took months, after I told him I loved him, for my boyfriend to reciprocate the words. Did that mean hid did not care about me? No, his actions spoke louder than any words he could say. By your description of his actions, you know he cares about you. If you love him, let him know. He may not know what to say in return, and you have to be ready for that.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 Women can say it anytime they want. It's only us men who aren't allowed that luxury. It's like the minute she views you as anything other than some sort of primitive, souless, studding machine you're f*cked. But you're a girl baby so go ahead and say it.
johan Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 You can always look for a loophole. So you don't want to say it, but you want to be able to say it? Well, you can camouflage it... Try this: Say "I love U...... niversal Studios tours." Or "I love U......PS trucks." Technically you're saying it, but you can also argue that you aren't in case you don't get a favorable response. That's how I would approach it.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 You can always look for a loophole. So you don't want to say it, but you want to be able to say it? Well, you can camouflage it... Try this: Say "I love U...... niversal Studios tours." Or "I love U......PS trucks." Technically you're saying it, but you can also argue that you aren't in case you don't get a favorable response. That's how I would approach it. What if you slip up and say " I love U...ganda" or "I love U...rology" Don't you think she might be on to you?
johan Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 You'd have to prepare a follow-up story describing what is so lovable about U.....ganda, or say, Eu......ripides. These things are not hard to turn to your advantage. I recommend practicing in front of the mirror. The length of the pause between the syllables is a matter of timing and requires practise. Too long, and what follows won't matter. Too short, and they might not really hear it.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 Yeah, practice, that's gotta be the key. Like worse case scenario, I'm dating a woman I meet through disabeld personals and I say, I love U....genics, or I love U...thenasia. See, that could put me in the sh*thouse for a while, so it's best to be prepared
norajane Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 What if you slip up and say " I love U...ganda" or "I love U...rology" Or "I love U...ranus"
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