BruiserKC Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I know I haven't posted a great deal since I got here, but I've seen a lot of good discussions and interesting people. I've noticed as I read and post here that I only have a small handful of people that I truly call friends. I know and deal with a lot of people on a daily, weekly (sometimes monthly) basis. Co-workers, wife's co-workers, acquaintances I've met at the bar, ball game, etc, Internet, etc. But when it comes right down to it...only a handful of people get the title of "friend." I know some people throw that word around the way my son and I throw around a football, but that's not me. To me, the definition of a friend is someone that I can call out of the blue and talk to whenever. They also have the opportunity to look through the shield and defenses one puts up and see the real me...who I really am as a person. I trust them completely...no reservations. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them and when the chips are down I know I can count on them. Just curious...to those here. Would you say you have many friends or are you content with just a few select ones?
littlekitty Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I think most adults only have a select few 'friends'. Perhaps many acquaintances, but usually only a few friends. That's certainly my case anyway! But I'm completely happy with that. I would rather have my few wonderful close friends who I can trust implicitly and would go to the end of the earth for, than a hundred acquaintances that I can't really trust.
bluechocolate Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I think most adults only have a select few 'friends'. Perhaps many acquaintances, but usually only a few friends. I agree. In my wild & crazy yuff I used to have dozens of 'best friends' - we could populate a bar or a small hotel & often did! Even then, when it came right down to it, I only had a handful of people who could take the title of friend, some of whom are still in my life. I think, young or old, that is pretty much the same for everyone.
Yoohoo Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I have about 4 good friends that meet your definition. I'm just fine with that number.
AtLongLast Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 None. Oh I have a few that I hang with regulary, but I don't really trust anyone to call them and talk to them about my problems. It's a shame really, because I consider myself a good friend. I have been told I am, but in the end I was betrayed by those people as well. I find it easier on the heart and self esteem to keep most people at arms length. I hate it, but my heart doesn't hurt as often and I don't cry as much now that I have established the boundary. I am still always there for them, I just don't engage in talk of a very personal nature because it is always used against me in the end. I do desire life long friends and a life long partnership. Maybe someday I won't be so jaded.
pricillia Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 None. Oh I have a few that I hang with regulary, but I don't really trust anyone to call them and talk to them about my problems. It's a shame really, because I consider myself a good friend. I have been told I am, but in the end I was betrayed by those people as well. I find it easier on the heart and self esteem to keep most people at arms length. I hate it, but my heart doesn't hurt as often and I don't cry as much now that I have established the boundary. I am still always there for them, I just don't engage in talk of a very personal nature because it is always used against me in the end. I do desire life long friends and a life long partnership. Maybe someday I won't be so jaded. I used to be like this too. But I like the other side better. People are going to dissapoint that is just the way it is, you can either decide to make you distant or stay in the game. As for me I have more friends now then I used to. Some of my friends I really did not like at all when I first met them. But then I opened up and got to know them and what they are all about. I am so glad that I did because if not I would not have the gift of having them as friends. Not to sound to musy but Frendship is truly a gift!
witabix Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I am similar to AtLongLast, I prefer to keep people at a safe distance generally. I have friends that I have known my whole life, well not yet, but you know what I mean. I am too private a person to share my inner thoughts with anyone outside of my brothers, children and SO. I have a very wide circle of friends and many of them appear to have the kind of relationship you speak of. I always viewed that as invasive and far too complicated. With particular note to cross gender friendships. It just looks 'wrong' to me. That of course has more to do with my own attitudes and perceptions than their reality, I understand that.
TheSilentType Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 To me, the definition of a friend is someone that I can call out of the blue and talk to whenever. They also have the opportunity to look through the shield and defenses one puts up and see the real me...who I really am as a person. I trust them completely...no reservations. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them and when the chips are down I know I can count on them. I won't share my definition of a friend, but it is quite similar to your one. I think I'm very careful and selective of who I call a friend....but sometimes I wonder if I expect too much from another person. Anyways, I think most people have few real friends. Some people call anyone they meet a friend, but in reality that "friend" is just an acquaintence when you look at their interaction.
DeeBrod83 Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I agree, I only have a few really close friends, and a lot more people that I hang out with, but wouldn't say are close. I'd like to have more close friends, but I have trouble finding people that I'd want to have that involved in my life! Most of my 'buddies' are fun to hang out with, but definitely not someone I'd call if I had a problem, needed to talk, or needed help. Is there a way to find quality friends?? I love the close friends I have, but everyone has their own responsiblities and stuff and we don't get to see enough of each other. I'd just like to expand that circle more....
SweetnSassy Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I only have one close friend which is my boyfriend. I would like to have more but I'm shy and have trouble opening up to others.
tearful_soul22 Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 I have close friends since college days, two best friends, and a handful of acquaintances. These friendships are comfortable and relaxed, everyone is flexible, but conflicts do arise once in a while. It's great to have lots of friends and the only thing to avoid are the ones belonging in the "toxic friendship category"
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