loveinlife Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 Hi everyone, Just wondering how long did it take for you to get over your ex?
AriaIncognito Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 There's really no magic number. Some you get over sooner than others. There are tons of contributing factors. How long you were together, if you saw it coming, the type of relationship, who did the breaking, etc. I've had relationships of a year end and I was over them in a matter of weeks, and i've had short few month things that seemed to never leave me, or leave me longer than the damned relationship was. I think it all depends on how you truly felt for the person and what happened. Jennifer
the_alchemyst Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 Aria said it perfectly. It depends on the individual, the level of attachment, and how you personally deal with feelings/emotions. For me, it might take my entire life, which might not be all that long anyway, so it's okay. I always wanted to be a martyr.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 For me, it might take my entire life, which might not be all that long anyway, so it's okay. Don't say sh*t like that A :(
Diver012 Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 Well, the last time I went through something like this was years ago. MY heart until now has been masively guarded. THe last time was my fault. This time was my fault. Lack of experience I suppose. Damned if you do and damned if you dont All I know is after the last time, my heart was off limits. I dated. I had fun. I hurt some people along the way, I really didnt mean to. Im actually sorry I did. SOme of those people didnt deserve it. A couple were players that did. Im scared of the road I look down now. My heart is more protected than ever before. I dont want to hurt anyone. I really dont. Im not into the revenage against teh opposite sex thing. SO im just hanging out being me. I know lifes to short, but fk it. I dont need to be in a relationship to be happy. People try and tell me we were meant to be with someone. Its not natural to be alone. Im getting to the point where I prefer being alone. Its like there are just to many fck up people in the world, including myself. to give love another chance. What a crappy attitude I have...
Author loveinlife Posted August 17, 2006 Author Posted August 17, 2006 For me, after this ego trip that I have and experiencing my lost first love. I really feel depressed. Depressed enough to make myself looking down on me. I mean there are girls who like me, but the thing is that I still think that my ex was "THE ONE," so its been hard for me to love another person. I also know that if I start dating again and start liking a new person, I know I will reminense about my past relationship w my ex and might make me judgemental about going any further w another girl. Of how it can hurt me if the same thing happens. Maybe I am losing confidence, im just scared now. Its been a year and I still haven't gotten over my ex and blaming myself for not knowing how to make a relationship last. As it was my first real love and relationship that i had. I hope I get over this soon. Thanks all for posting, any additional feedbacks or comments are welcome.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 there's no such thing as "the one". there's just you
KittenMoon Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 Aria said it perfectly. It depends on the individual, the level of attachment, and how you personally deal with feelings/emotions. For me, it might take my entire life, which might not be all that long anyway, so it's okay. I always wanted to be a martyr. Ye-ouch! Well, no matter how long or short your life is A, you've gotten to experience two major parts of life- love and heartbreak. Doesn't that count for something? (Although it would be better it their order of occurence could have been switched around, eh? )
Author loveinlife Posted August 18, 2006 Author Posted August 18, 2006 22 years is an awefully long time... 1 year for me and its been miserable.
Pyro Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 Hi everyone, Just wondering how long did it take for you to get over your ex? In my experience, as time went on, it took a much shorter time to get over an ex. After my first break-up, I was a mess. I lacked self esteem and I felt as though I would never meet anyone as good as her. That was a learning experience. It took almost a year, but I was able to get over her. After my last ex, it was much easier. I had the self confidence and I realized that it was for the better and less then a month I was over her. Obviously its different strokes for different folks when it comes to this subject.
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 Im back in school ( college ) and waking up in the morning reminds me alot of my ex weve been broken up for a year( my first love) and right now I can tell you I have an ache in my heart and can't sleep..what a freaking relapse, they say you get over it but honestly I don't see me getting over it any time soon...guess I'll wait and see and take some sleeping pills to sleep its like 2 oh clock right now haha i guess I shoulden't have taken a nap. I really hope I love again, I guess god knows that or some higher force knows that...it was more lust than love but it was a 3 year relationship...ugh what a drag life can be I think what can help a person is if you tell them how strong they are, and thats what people have told me...
Author loveinlife Posted August 18, 2006 Author Posted August 18, 2006 Feel just like you The Riddler and Brittanyjean06 on our first. *CRY*
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 Can't wait to see the flip side to this...
the_alchemyst Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 I wonder how many of are here wanting to get over our first loves. Hmm.
Author loveinlife Posted August 19, 2006 Author Posted August 19, 2006 The_alchemyst you can count me in on that one. First love and first in everything. Although I am not w her, I still feel that I am. I guess I really loved her. Miss all that physical stuff too. Just to be real, even when I masturbate sometimes I would think about her. Yes, I haven't had sex for awhile. Would like to make love again.
In Sync Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 Hi everyone, Just wondering how long did it take for you to get over your ex? Wow, it was about a year ago this time when the signs of my relatinship were reading flatline. I even looked through the earlier postings I posted here and whew! that alone was a mindbender. I can't believe what I went through. I am over him but it's like I get a creepy feeling thinking just how hopeless and full of despair I felt back then. It's really like a lifetime ago. I can't say I don't think about the ex, but it's nothing like what I was going through to get over him. I know one thing for sure I ain't doing that again for no man. Two Lessons: Time heals ALL wounds and Love is a Wonderful Thing But it has to Start with Me 1st.
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 Wow, it was about a year ago this time when the signs of my relatinship were reading flatline. I even looked through the earlier postings I posted here and whew! that alone was a mindbender. I can't believe what I went through. I am over him but it's like I get a creepy feeling thinking just how hopeless and full of despair I felt back then. It's really like a lifetime ago. I can't say I don't think about the ex, but it's nothing like what I was going through to get over him. I know one thing for sure I ain't doing that again for no man. Two Lessons: Time heals ALL wounds and Love is a Wonderful Thing But it has to Start with Me 1st. You know I have that same creepy feeling when I think back to a year ago, and than that creepy eery feeling submerges back.I know what your talking about
In Sync Posted August 19, 2006 Posted August 19, 2006 You know I have that same creepy feeling when I think back to a year ago, and than that creepy eery feeling submerges back.I know what your talking about When I get that weird creepy feeling over thinking about it, it's a bit of self-condemnation (Which I know I KNOW I must rid myself of that thinking) But it like I can't believe I allowed myself to get that freaked out and emotionally wrecked over him. It's a bit embarassing to myself that I put so much value on a worthless realtionship. And in the process caused myself more pain. Heed my words, Ladies and Gentlemen No one Is Worth That. When You finally get over someone I think we all go...What was I thinking?
Author loveinlife Posted August 20, 2006 Author Posted August 20, 2006 Just wonder In Sync, how long was the relationship you were in. Its been a year for me right now and I am still trying to get over my ex. The reason is that i still kept contact with her bc we call each other back and forth. Now its pretty much NC for both of us eventhough i called her. My relationship was 1 and half years, but we were friends before.
sick of it Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 what does everyone here consider to be "over their ex"?
AriaIncognito Posted August 20, 2006 Posted August 20, 2006 I think you can consider yourself over it when: 1.) you have no hopes of getting back together 2.) you can hear about him/her with someone else, and be happy for them and feel no pain over it 3.) you no longer wonder on a consistent basis about what they are doing, who they are with. you don't care. you've moved on. Those are some I can think of. I'm sure others can add more... Jennifer
In Sync Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 Just wonder In Sync, how long was the relationship you were in. Its been a year for me right now and I am still trying to get over my ex. The reason is that i still kept contact with her bc we call each other back and forth. Now its pretty much NC for both of us eventhough i called her. My relationship was 1 and half years, but we were friends before. The relationship was for about 2 years (started out as friends and it escalated to lovers) But 90% of that time (on hinsight was me struggling and baging my head trying to get him to be more available to me emotionally and in denial about just how destructive it actually was the verbal abuse) Anyway the initial it over was really not over because we still maintain contact (sexually as well) But for him it was over, so what we were still having sex. For me it wasn't. So I frustrated myself more. Now I realize all the stress I endured was not his doing. Because I was the one who chose to stick in the mess thinking I would reverse the course of events. we are emotional human beings and we think that we can trick ourselves into being friends and yet not be effected. We are actaully stronger but we let the tricks get ahead of us. Because the more we indulge in these pranks the more we hurt ourselves. I impeded my own healing and that's what we do. After awhile it catches up with you. I guaantee you a year from now if there's no contact and false hope you'll wonder WTF was I doing? why did I put up with that. And really it hasn't anything to do with them, it's a fear of rather taking less than you deserve and getting use to discomfort. It's only when you are out of discomfort you can see how much energy you put in a futile situation. I do think there's a different stage in getting over someone jus as there are different stages in healing. I don't want the ex. That's history. The past memory of it is there. Yes. But the illusion of it was great it was wonderful, over. It will take more passage of time to never ever think of him again without reflection of judgement I suppose but that is ok, so far I've seen how time has worked in my favor.
Winfield Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 what does everyone here consider to be "over their ex"? I consider this to be when people no longer feel the need to discuss / post about their ex...
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