justice Posted August 16, 2006 Posted August 16, 2006 I've been doing some extensive searches online since finding out about my h's affair and right around the time I found this board I also found a board of people who conduct affairs and seem like they don't really care one flit about anything other than how not to get busted by the spouses. I also found out that the ow in my case had been writing on this board all along. I hope I'm not doing something wrong here but I feel like all the BS's here need to research this site. It really clues you in on things that the ws's and op's are doing and thinking. Be prepared if you go here though because it seems like these people are proud of being what they are and flaunt it. Maybe I'm just oversensitive though. If this gets deleted I understand but for all BS's I felt you needed to see this. I found it by popping private affairs forum into yahoo search. Sorry if this is against any rules. I intended no wrong.
Mz. Pixie Posted August 16, 2006 Posted August 16, 2006 Yeah, I've seen the forums. You can learn alot by reading there. But I wouldn't post if I were you- because its just going to start a huge fight. It's a free country and they are welcome to have their own forum. They probably need to vent too. Your OW sounds pretty vicious but please remember that not all of them are like that and that some of them are actually victims of the MM as well.
quankanne Posted August 16, 2006 Posted August 16, 2006 it seems like these people are proud of being what they are and flaunt it. yeah, and these are the ones I truly feel sorry for, because they don't realize how to others, they appear to be wallowing in a cesspit created by their affair even as they proclaim loudly that it's wonderful and it's how they want things to be. To me, that's just sad because of the lack of dignity I think it must take to sink to that level ... as Pixie points out, many who post here are victims of their affair, and by the tone of their posts you can tell that they know what's going on isn't right for them or the betrayed spouses, but they're so sucked into the relationship their usual bang-on-the-money judgement has failed them. honestly? I know that both women love the adultering man (most of our posts are from women who are either the spouse or the lover), but I wish they'd team up to expose the lying dog and BOTH wash their hands of them. I've always felt that a man who cheats has the best of both worlds because he's got two women at once, while his wife and his lover will only ever get half of him ...
Mz. Pixie Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I hear ya! The thing is, I know that some OW's are vicious and do nutso things but I think that's the exception to the rule. The wife and the OW are both usually victims. Instead of hating each other they need to turn it around on him!!! The OW is meaningless to me- not in the fact that she doesn't deserve to have feelings etc, but that she's just the symptom of the problem. Either a personal problem or a marital problem. She would be the least of my concern. But him? Oh yeah, he would be feeling me that's for sure.
jonesgirly Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 Justice..........good intentions from you, thanks. You have a really unique situation - you can read the OW's postings! How horrible for you, yet somewhat interesting at the same time. (I don't mean interesting in a good way). Its rare to get the 'truth' from the OP's perspective and you can review her postings to match your husbands 'story.' One word of advice? Print them all out before she deletes them (if that option is available on that website). Sidebar..........anything regarding our PM's this morning? Ms. Pixie is right - the OP is meaningless - they could be replaced with ANY 'person' or cardboard cutout. The responsible party, as far as your marriage is concerned, is the husband and wife. NOT the OW. She had no responsibility to your marriage vows. We appreciate your input as to the other 'boards' out there. To each, their own.
Author justice Posted August 18, 2006 Author Posted August 18, 2006 my goodness yes, and as of tomorrow I will have said um....priveledges!! lol tomorrow is pay day for me. And poss pay dirt as well:p I'm not posting at that board but it...sure makes...for some interesting reads in a place where they feel "safe" lol don't you know by now there are no "safe" places on the internet? I feel like screaming that at them but I'm being a good little girl. Far better to read and print, aye? Thanks so much Jonesy.
silktricks Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 I hear ya! The thing is, I know that some OW's are vicious and do nutso things but I think that's the exception to the rule. I (personally) think that the number of creepy men who prey on women is matched by creepy women who prey on men. They just do it differently is all.
Mz. Pixie Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 my goodness yes, and as of tomorrow I will have said um....priveledges!! lol tomorrow is pay day for me. And poss pay dirt as well:p I'm not posting at that board but it...sure makes...for some interesting reads in a place where they feel "safe" lol don't you know by now there are no "safe" places on the internet? I feel like screaming that at them but I'm being a good little girl. Far better to read and print, aye? Thanks so much Jonesy. Yeah, but see, here's the thing- things on the internet can be manipulated and changed if you're smart enough- so they are unlikely to stand up in a court of law.
newbby Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 i think you are focussing on the wrong person. she is a symptom not the cause of your marital problems. read any thread here by married people having affairs and you will see that they had problems in the marriage long before the affair began. i dont think it is good for you to focus on the ow in this case, and all reading her posts will do is torture you. i suppose though that you can check that your h is telling you the truth if he says it is over.
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