moon17 Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 I have been reading posts on this site for a while now and am totally relating to so many of you. Although until now I have only been observing and learning from all of your experiences, I have a question for all of you OW who are facing the same desperation I am. I've come to the conclusion that men don't leave their wives for another woman (the majority of them). First of all, they hate change. Also, they don't want to carry the guilt of walking out on their families. Men only leave when the W kicks them out after finding out about the A. My Question: Have any of you ever done something purposely to your MM to get him caught by his W without him finding out it was you? And what was the result of it? Link to post Share on other sites
BenThereDunThat Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 No, I haven't but I sure have dreamed about it! One of the reasons I never would is because here's what always happens, like, 99.9% of the time: He tells the W that the OW never meant anything to him, and he'll then turn it around and blame the OW for everything. She's obsessed with me, stalks me, I hate her, etc... The A was painful enough. I couldn't bear to go through that kind of humiliation on top of it. Link to post Share on other sites
saf Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 I can't believe how little imagination you women have. You don't get the husband caught. You know a LOT about the wife from all of the conversations you've had with the H. What you do is write your MM an anonymous note claiming to be the lover of the wife, and outing her. He's going to believe it, he'll want to believe it. she'll never be able to disprove it. How do you prove a negative? and voila! the marriage is over and he's yours. That's what I'm gonna do when I'm ready for fulltime. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moon17 Posted August 16, 2006 Author Share Posted August 16, 2006 OMG, how clever, I never would have thought of that. Sometimes we become so desperate and anxious that we don't think straight but you've just put a whole new twist on things. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 First of all, that wouldn't work on my MM. His W would never do that! I know she would never do that, so he definetly knows she would never do that. If he's going to be in my life, i want him to be with me because HE LOVES ME! I don't want to get him any other way. I would never purposely "out" him. I love him, and that means, i don't want to see him in pain. I don't want to see her or the kids in pain. Although i know this will happen if we do get caught, i don't want to do this on purpose, just so he will come crawling to me. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 I can't believe how little imagination you women have. You don't get the husband caught. You know a LOT about the wife from all of the conversations you've had with the H. What you do is write your MM an anonymous note claiming to be the lover of the wife, and outing her. He's going to believe it, he'll want to believe it. she'll never be able to disprove it. How do you prove a negative? and voila! the marriage is over and he's yours. That's what I'm gonna do when I'm ready for fulltime. My, you've fooled yourself saf. The part I've bolded, uhmm, the MM is lying to his wife, so please don't tell me you think he's being 100% honest with you! He IS NOT going to really tell you the truth about what goes on between him and his wife. And, there's no guarantee that just because she finds out about her husbands affair their marriage is over. You assume alot...And you're also quite devious and nasty. Don't know how you sleep at night, or look yourself in the mirror. Many of the OW here honestly fall into affairs with NO intention of hurting someone, and yes, the outcomes are usually the same - But what you do is pre-planned and intentional. You have no respect for anybody, let alone yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 First of all, that wouldn't work on my MM. His W would never do that! I know she would never do that, so he definetly knows she would never do that. If he's going to be in my life, i want him to be with me because HE LOVES ME! I don't want to get him any other way. I would never purposely "out" him. I love him, and that means, i don't want to see him in pain. I don't want to see her or the kids in pain. Although i know this will happen if we do get caught, i don't want to do this on purpose, just so he will come crawling to me. ditto still here...I love my MM and his family is a part of his life whether I like it or not and I have no intentions on purposely hurting them..if my MM wants to be with me he knows what he has to do. however he has said and I believe he wants to get caught because it's to hard for him to leave, but I won't be the catalyst for that not by choice anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 IHe's going to believe it, he'll want to believe it. This is where you are misunderstanding your prey. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkShorts Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Yes ive done similiar stuff to get my married men caught at times when i wanted to break up their marriage. i only did it though because the sex was dwindling. he seemed to want to repair their relationship, so i went hardcore and made her look bad. the last guy i did this with, i now live with and help raise his daughter. his daughter calls me mommy and i love kids. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Yes ive done similiar stuff to get my married men caught at times when i wanted to break up their marriage. i only did it though because the sex was dwindling. he seemed to want to repair their relationship, so i went hardcore and made her look bad. the last guy i did this with, i now live with and help raise his daughter. his daughter calls me mommy and i love kids. You join the site tonight, just to add that in. How ironic. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkShorts Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 You join the site tonight, just to add that in. How ironic. ? . Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Sorry, maybe I'm wrong. It's just a recent trend that people are posting how to "get" their man, showing no respect, no thought to their actions, it seems that the "me me me" attitude has taken over. Stealing another woman's husband, and flaunting it! Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 I was hoping, WWIU, that these types of women were a rarity. I was wrong. How sad is that? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkShorts Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Well this wife was a bitch and always strung out on prescription drugs anyways so i think it helped out the kid. i was selfish but sometimes it takes that to get what you want. if i thought about how my actions were going to affect everyone all the time, i would never get much done and might as well be homebound. i dont see lawyers worry about how they railroaded some schmuck out of his life savings or politicians lose a nights rest after they get someone slain to protect their image and reputation. and these people are praised. what i did was minor in comparison. maybe because i dont like women much, it doesn't bother me. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 All I'm going to say is, I really hope ALL of you put that child FIRST before everything else. Bottom line, that is the most important person in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Well this wife was a bitch and always strung out on prescription drugs anyways so i think it helped out the kid. i was selfish but sometimes it takes that to get what you want. if i thought about how my actions were going to affect everyone all the time, i would never get much done and might as well be homebound. i dont see lawyers worry about how they railroaded some schmuck out of his life savings or politicians lose a nights rest after they get someone slain to protect their image and reputation. and these people are praised. what i did was minor in comparison. maybe because i dont like women much, it doesn't bother me. Is the reason why you dislike women so much because they see through you? Because we can tell a cold hearted man eating b!tch a mile away? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkShorts Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Is the reason why you dislike women so much because they see through you? Because we can tell a cold hearted man eating b!tch a mile away? LOL. And you think acting like a bitch would change my view? Thanks for validating it. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 LOL. And you think acting like a bitch would change my view? Thanks for validating it. To be honest I really don't care much for you, or women like you, enough to put the effort into being a bitch . It was a valid question. I wasn't attempting to change your view, I was asking a question if that was the reason because that was the impression I got of you from the one post I read of yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moon17 Posted August 16, 2006 Author Share Posted August 16, 2006 Some of you people shouldn't be so judgemental. You put all the blame on the OW when the first to blame is the MM. And you must not forget that in most cases the W is partly to blame too. More often than not the wife neglects the husbands needs and although they know that the marriage is in trouble they don't do anything to fix the problem until it's too late. Eventually, sh*t will hit the fan so what difference does it make if it's due to carelessness or intentional. If your husband was cheating on you, wouldn't you want to know? I know I would. The truth is that the person that goes through the most pain and deception here is the OW who is helplessly in love and waits and waits and hopes with every cell in her body that something happens in order to bring her true happiness with the one she loves. OW are not "stealing" anyone's husband, the husband strayed on his own. If you haven't been through any of this I don't think you have any business posting your criticism. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Some of you people shouldn't be so judgemental. You put all the blame on the OW when the first to blame is the MM. And you must not forget that in most cases the W is partly to blame too. More often than not the wife neglects the husbands needs and although they know that the marriage is in trouble they don't do anything to fix the problem until it's too late. Eventually, sh*t will hit the fan so what difference does it make if it's due to carelessness or intentional. If your husband was cheating on you, wouldn't you want to know? I know I would. The truth is that the person that goes through the most pain and deception here is the OW who is helplessly in love and waits and waits and hopes with every cell in her body that something happens in order to bring her true happiness with the one she loves. OW are not "stealing" anyone's husband, the husband strayed on his own. If you haven't been through any of this I don't think you have any business posting your criticism. Sorry if I have offended. It was not my intention to come across as judgemental to all OW in general. My reaction was towards the "I will do anything to capture this man, no matter who gets hurt in the process" attitude which has been shown by a select few women over the past few days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moon17 Posted August 16, 2006 Author Share Posted August 16, 2006 My reply was intended for whichwayisup who seems to be passing judgement on all women caught up in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 My reply was intended for whichwayisup who seems to be passing judgement on all women caught up in this situation. WWIU is actually one of the most undestanding and less prejudiced people on this website. To aswer your original question, I think that whatever way you choose to make your MM get caught, the outcome will be probably very much alike the one BenThereDunThat described: No, I haven't but I sure have dreamed about it! One of the reasons I never would is because here's what always happens, like, 99.9% of the time: He tells the W that the OW never meant anything to him, and he'll then turn it around and blame the OW for everything. She's obsessed with me, stalks me, I hate her, etc... Perhaps your best bet would be to make his wife aware about some other affair he is having with some other woman. (But this is very hypothetical, since I assume from your posts that you are his only other woman, and would no longer wish to be with him if you found out that he has been seeing another person apart from you behind his wife's back.) Not that I think it would work anyway. Anyway, making him get caught, no matter which way, no matter for which purpose, is something that goes not along well with the idea of love and respect. If you actually love someone, and respect someone, you do not make decisions in their place, unless they are kids and you are their parent. You'd be doing it out of desperation, and it would certainly backfire on you. Even if the outcome of it is the best one possible(which I doubt), you'll be left wondering whether he would have ever left his wife otherwise. And your relationship would be based on a huge lie (the fact that it wasn't you who told his wife about the affair). One last thing: What you do is write your MM an anonymous note claiming to be the lover of the wife, and outing her. He's going to believe it, he'll want to believe it. she'll never be able to disprove it. How do you prove a negative? and voila! the marriage is over and he's yours. Don't you ever do anything like this. No matter how desperate you are, there are no excuses. It is just plain disgusting (in lack of a better term). And MM would end up hating you more than you can imagine. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 I will tell you my friends story. She had an affair with a MM for 6 months. He was on holiday from work, spending time with his family, and she didnt see him for 2 weeks. This was driving her mad... his mobile was off so she rang his home... the W answered and my friend told her EVERYTHING. The marriage did not end for another 6 months. He decided he wanted to save it. The W then discovered he had been speaking to the OW on the phone, (my friend just wouldnt give up and always tried to initiate contact) and she kicked him out. So my friend got him. Happily ever after? No. She discovered he was having secret meetings with the W - he felt guilty, apparently. Then the W made the decision to divorce him. It was her decision - not his (I dont think he really wanted one) and certainly not my friends. They married, and then he cheated on her after meeting his first love at a school reunion! Apparently there was "unfinished business" between them. The A did come to an end, but my friend went through hell, and why she is with him still, I have no idea. As for Saf, I wish her MM could read her posts. He would run a mile! Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 (Sigh) And to further prove that your "plan" has potential to backfire, please read my post on Consternation's thread, "Is he gonna leave coz he misses me?" I am living, breathing proof that it is a bad, bad thing to force someone's hand in matters of love and relationships. Happy reading, saf, Pink Shorts, and any other OW who thinks that this type of deceit is gonna really win her her man.... Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellFire Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 (Sigh) And to further prove that your "plan" has potential to backfire, please read my post on Consternation's thread, "Is he gonna leave coz he misses me?" I am living, breathing proof that it is a bad, bad thing to force someone's hand in matters of love and relationships. Happy reading, saf, Pink Shorts, and any other OW who thinks that this type of deceit is gonna really win her her man.... In the case of her plan, how would the husband ever know it was her who sent the letter and thereby "forced" his hand? Link to post Share on other sites
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