Tired of being a yo-yo

[SadGreenEyes]

I moved in with my boyfriend a year ago...we have been arguing since. Some days we are okay, some days we are not. One day he loves me then next day he tells me to move out. It's been like this for a year now.

There is, in my honest opinion, an extremely bad outside influence interfering with my relationship, one one shape or form.

This "distraction", or as I like to call it, the Poison in our relationship comes in the form of a female friend of boyfriends for 14 years. She has always been in love with him and although nothing has ever happened between them and my boyfriend is not at all interested in having anything more than a regular friendship with her is in her eyes, unacceptable.

He has had several long term girlfriends throughout their friendship, one which led to an engagement, and she did what ever she possibly could do to try to sabotage his relationships, and ours is no different.

I am disgusted by boyfriends free tongue, if you will, and tells everyone he knows about all of our dirty laundry, including her.

She calls him all the time, every day, and treats him as if he was HER girlfriend. I cant handle this people, I kid you not. 2 years I have been putting up with this wench and I just dont have the strength do deal with her anymore.

As previously mentioned, my boyfriend was never in all the years he has known her, has he been attracted to her "that way", they kissed once years ago and never had sex. I truly believe that he will never be with her, so I do not deem her a threat as far as him cheating on me with her, will absolutely never happen. It's just her being around, she has no respect for me our our relationship. She could care less and LOVES it when we are fighting.

The latest situation arose from her intereference. Boyfriend and I had a really bad argument 2 weeks ago and he broke up with me over the phone, I was devistated, inconsolable. I bawled for 4 straight hours. This has happened before but he usually apologizes and says we can work on things. The night he broke up with me I was a mess. After finally calming down, I took a shower and after I got out, I heard the phone ringing and then the answering maching picked up. It was her looking for me, calling my name into the machine. I couldnt believe it! I was floored! I thought about it for a second and then said, screw it, I'll talk to this bitch and I have plenty to say - 2 years of BS pent up! I picked up the phone, I tore her apart and the I tore boyfriend apart to her after, calling him colorful names, just totally going ballistic!I was so distraught and not thinking clearly, I cant remember what I screamed at her or to her. We were on the phone for over an hour. That night boyfriend comes home and he is on the phone with her...I told her that I knew she was going to call him when I hung up. Anyway, she told him word for word everything that I said. He was devistated. I told him, Guy, You broke up with me and then you have my arch enemy call me and feed me some bull that shes all concerned about us, etc? After all was said and done that night, he said, I was kinda hoping that we would be able to work this out like we always do, etc. The next day he calls me at work and he's pissed! She called him, told him more stuff I said AND told him she tape recorded the whole conversation so she can implicate me! From that day forward it has been a really bad roller coaster ride. Some days are okay, others are really bad. Im crying alot. Bottom line was that I was to move out and move out ASAP! Or, he would call the county courts on me and have me evicted, and I would have to get a lawyer, etc. This is his house, he owns it. As of yesterday I have still searching for affordable apartments. I found one yesterday and brought home the rental agreement to read over. This morning I asked him to read it...I left him a note. I spoke with him briefly before and he said that he wants to have a serious talk about this whole situation. Asked me if I honestly wanted to leave. I said No. So, now all of a sudden he changes his mind or something. He said he wants to talk about living together and trying to make it work under the same roof because he doesnt want me to leave.

Like I said, one day it's I love you, I love living with you, the next day is MOVE OUT NOW! Or I will call the cops and have you removed!

One day we speak nice like friends and laugh the following day he tells me to avoid him like the plague because he doesnt like me today.

My head is spinning out of control with this. Why am I putting up with this? I do love him and have been breaking my butt to try to fix the relationship and BEGGING him to get rid of this friend and nothing ever happens. I am left to deal with it.

God Help Me!

SGE

[amaysngrace]

You need to seriously consider moving out, at least temporarily. It seems this whole situation is leaving you with No Control. And that is a very bad position for anyone to be in.

 

Have you considered moving into a roomate arrangement? It may be good for you to know someone new now, and the price is better than trying to foot the bills on your own.

 

Honestly, they both sound like people I'd be glad to get out of my life. They both seem controlling, manipulative and mean-spirited, and it will be your well-being that suffers, not theirs. You can't change others, you can only change yourself. Do whatever you are able to do to be in control of your own life...you'll be glad you did.

[the_alchemyst]

Stop being yo-yo. Just roll yourself out of there and don't let him pull you back.

 

At least, not until he gets his act together.

 

Seriously.

 

(I really need to follow my own advice.)

[littlenikki]

Does this girl have anything else going on in her life or does it completely revolve around your fella!?

If your fella knew how much this girl upsets you and the effect she also puts on your relationship he should respect it and at least talk to you about it. Not tell you to avoid him like the plague.

I think it might be an idea to move out maybe for just a few days, put the strain on him for once.

Let him see that you're ready to walk away if this isnt resolved.

[britchick]

I agree, even if you can't bring yourself to break up with him, move into a place of your own or share with some other people.

I wonder why he enjoys having this womans destructive influence around? He must enjoy having someone around who is always available to him, perhaps it's an ego boost or something.

Anyway, perhaps he'll be less ready to say things like "I don't like you today" if you aren't always around. From what you've said he really doesn't sound very pleasant. Perhaps you should encourage him to move in with his friend, they sound like a perfect match.