I messed up bigtime, I love my wife!!

November 27, 2006

Happy for ya Chad. I would make sure she has stopped all contact w/ this other guy, and to have her let you know when he contacts her. I would also make an appointment this week with a MC. You can't be a husband and a counselor at the same time, since you can't be 100% objective in the situation.

Set boundaries and make sure you stick with them. Let her know, that 'No contact', means 'No contact', that there will not be a second chance in regards to that. If she wants to write a letter, that you read it first and watch her send it. Anytime cheating has gone on in a marriage it's essential that this & MC happens.

Everything you said to her was the right thing to do. I'm glad you really took our advice and saw what it takes to make it work. Right now I'm just guessing the next year will be a roller coaster ride, since this OG is still in the picture and your wife goes back & forth on what she says. As for the feelings part, don't try to win her over in that respect. Remember that what she did to you is as bad as what you did to her. Let her come to you and that feeling will come back..

Well this is the last straw, I told her absolutly no contact, cut ties completely. I asked her if she was strong enough to do that and she said she would have too be!!! I also told her that once she focuses on our marriage He will pursue her even harder, but once he sees she is serious he'll probaly give up!!! And that it is a good Idea for us to see an MC!!!

Once ******* is out ogf her head the feeling will start to comeback, So making sure he's gone and being a good husband/Father are my main concerns right now!!

Thanks

November 27, 2006

I would also make an appointment this week with a MC. You can't be a husband and a counselor at the same time, since you can't be 100% objective in the situation.

Set boundaries and make sure you stick with them. Let her know, that 'No contact', means 'No contact', that there will not be a second chance in regards to that. Anytime cheating has gone on in a marriage it's essential that this & MC happens.
quote]

Absolutely 100% "on the money" with this reply. You are now starting the hard part. You need to go to IC and MC for a while. Make sure you are both on the same level. I think you both acted a bit immature just from being kinda "young" but you seem to really love each other and that's a start.

Really wish you both the best and keep us all posted.

Okay, Thank you

November 27, 2006

Sounds good Chad

Good luck eh.. and realy work on the patience...thingy. I know it can be a tough one...

I find I just have to stop what I am doing at that moment... take a deep breath... look up at the sky. Then I am better... That is how I am now.. months ago... I would just have gotten mad!!!

I guess you just have to slow the mind down... so emmotion and thought are at the same speed..

I found this using google:

A tendency to be impatient is considered a major personality flaw. People who suffer from severe impatience are often considered to be arrogant, insensitive, and overbearing. Impatience can cause a person to cut others off mid-sentence and to make what appear to be uninformed, quick judgements. Impatience can lead the impatient person to snap at others in response to questions or requests. Impatience is considered to be a career stopper for many major corporations. Impatient people are not considered to be good managers or leaders for a company. Many factors can lead a person down the road to impatience. One of the biggest causes is stress. The more stress a person feels, the more likely they will be to react impatiently to additional requests for time.

Impatient people generally know that they suffer from impatience. Some people are lucky enough to only suffer from impatience when their impatience triggers have been pulled. For these people, controlling their impatience depends on learning what their impatience triggers are and learning to recognize the signals that patience is about to be lost. For people with chronic impatience, more intense therapy and retraining may be necessary.

Recognize Your Impatience Triggers

The first clue to unlocking your impatience lies in knowing what has caused it. Follow these simple steps:

1. Ask people who know you, what are your impatience tells - body language, facial expressions, or wording you use most when reacting impatiently?

2. Keep a journal logging your reactions to certain situations. Which situations led to you feeling the most impatience or reacting most impatiently?

3. Gauge the reactions of others to your interaction with them. Is there hesitancy or fear in their approach to you? Do you make others feel uncomfortable, is communication between you two-way?

4. Become aware of your reactions to different situations. Once you start paying attention, you will be amazed at how easily you recognize the signals of your build up toward impatience.

Overcoming Your Impatient Responses

By following the steps above, you will learn factors that can lead to your reacting impatiently in situations. While knowing what pulls your trigger is a huge part of the battle in overcoming your impatience, it is by no means the end of the war. As you start to recognize those situations that lead to you losing your patience, you need to take action to compose yourself, prepare for what is a stressful situation for you, and keep yourself from visibly losing your patience. Steps that you can take when confronted with a patience-losing situation for you are:

1. If possible, remove yourself from the situation. If you cannot physically remove yourself, then emotionally remove yourself. Parents counting to ten when confronted with a difficult parenting situation, are attempting to distance themselves emotionally. A supervisor confronted with a subordinate who isn't "getting it", may need to back-off, mentally count to ten, and start over. In these situations, by not reacting rashly, more productive results may occur. The idea is to get your point across without causing a loss of self esteem, for anyone.

2. Practice active listening. Give the person you are speaking to your attention. Make eye contact and try to restate what you have been told. Do not be forming your response to the person before they have finished speaking.

3. Slow down your responses. Force yourself to speak more slowly and in a lower octave than you might otherwise speak in times of stress. This will give the appearance of patience, even if you aren't feeling it.

4. Reward yourself for a patient response to a situation where you might have reacted impatiently in the past. Recognize the effort you have made, and how good it felt to not overreact to a situation.

By learning how to control your impatience, you will enable others to approach you in situations where you would have been unapproachable in the past. By not giving in to your urge to instantaneously react to a stressful situation, you may find that the situation isn't as bad as you thought and did not necessitate such a reaction. As a manager, controlling your impatience can inspire others to react calmly during times of high pressure. It can also help to improve your managerial image

Hope that helps in some way..

Best of luck

ilmw

November 28, 2006

Sounds good Chad

Good luck eh.. and realy work on the patience...thingy. I know it can be a tough one...

I find I just have to stop what I am doing at that moment... take a deep breath... look up at the sky. Then I am better... That is how I am now.. months ago... I would just have gotten mad!!!

I guess you just have to slow the mind down... so emmotion and thought are at the same speed..

Best of luck
ilmw

Thank You, I'm working on it.

I'm starting to think that working threw this stuff is going to be much harder than I thought!! Talk about ups and downs it is just rediculous how much my mind is jumping all over the place!!

November 28, 2006

Thank You, I'm working on it.

I'm starting to think that working threw this stuff is going to be much harder than I thought!! Talk about ups and downs it is just rediculous how much my mind is jumping all over the place!!

Yeah...I hear you.

When I read that info myself.. I saw some of the things I used to do... and not just with DW....

I do a lot better these days.. but find I sometimes catch myself.. doing it... It is easier to control the urge now though.

Like I said before... a lot of deep breaths help... just don't hyperventilate...

Take care

ilmw

December 3, 2006

I can't figure her out last Sunday when she said she would commit to working it out, She went home got some cloths and spent the night here!! then the rest of the week she has pretty much avoided me!! She agreed to spend the night with me the whole weekend!! Friday night she went out with her friend Brook (I believe her) Saturday night she promised she would stay the night!! She avoided me most of the day, we went to see a movie at 7:30 when we got back here we both spent time with our son When he fell asleep she said she couldn't stay and she was going home!!

She said she just wasn't feeling the same feelings for me, I was putting too much pressure on her!! I know I was but damn!! What am I supposed too do...... I mean You can't commit to working on a marriage and then avoiding your spouse and be afraid of any intimate contact Can You???

(hugs and Kisses NOT SEX) I know she's scared but is she scaring herself right out of any feeling for this marriage??? I think So

What do you all think??

She said her bousing back and forth is not fare on Me!! I agreed with her and said she's Right....... But then I told her I can't give up on her because she is confussed, If she knew for sure she couldn't love me again I'd have no choice but to move on without her..

She also said that when I compliment her Now, she feels I'm only being fake because I'm trying to win her back........ I told her that when I tell her a compliment I mean it and that in fact it almost feels fake to me too, because I've neglected to complent her so much in the past, and that I've always felt those ways I just didn't exspress them!! So it is feels odd for me to tell her because I'm not used to doing it And Also because I'm not sure if I should given our current situation!!!

I don't know I think I'm losing my Mind People:confused:

December 3, 2006

To me it sounds like you are wanting things to happen to fast but that is just me and I see myself doing that now that me & my W are talking.

We want things to get back quick like they were before specially in the physical department since that is at the top of the guys list. (hugging, touching, sex, etc.) You have to remember part of them leaving is them disconnecting from us and I really think being physical is one of the first things they do so that will be the last thing to come back.

Dont expect her to come home that soon, if she stays one night that is o.k. if she stays two nights at her place that is also o.k. Just like Ilmw said we need to learn patience and that includes me.

A friend told me when I talked to her about my situation that it sounded like my W would run and I would chase, then she will turn and face me with her claws out (which she never has done before), I stop in my tracks and cower a bit and then the case starts all over again. Neither of us really know for sure what we want but we both are afraid to back down and just take it slow.......

I don't have the answers and I hope to be able to go thru the same thing you are (having another chance) but it's hard to know what to do since we are on the side of the fence of wanting our marriage to work.

Good luck and just keep your spirits up I do know that will help!!!!

December 4, 2006

I can't figure her out last Sunday when she said she would commit to working it out, She went home got some cloths and spent the night here!! then the rest of the week she has pretty much avoided me!! She agreed to spend the night with me the whole weekend!! Friday night she went out with her friend Brook (I believe her) Saturday night she promised she would stay the night!! She avoided me most of the day, we went to see a movie at 7:30 when we got back here we both spent time with our son When he fell asleep she said she couldn't stay and she was going home!!

She said she just wasn't feeling the same feelings for me, I was putting too much pressure on her!! I know I was but damn!! What am I supposed too do...... I mean You can't commit to working on a marriage and then avoiding your spouse and be afraid of any intimate contact Can You???
(hugs and Kisses NOT SEX) I know she's scared but is she scaring herself right out of any feeling for this marriage??? I think So

What do you all think??

She said her bousing back and forth is not fare on Me!! I agreed with her and said she's Right....... But then I told her I can't give up on her because she is confussed, If she knew for sure she couldn't love me again I'd have no choice but to move on without her..

She also said that when I compliment her Now, she feels I'm only being fake because I'm trying to win her back........ I told her that when I tell her a compliment I mean it and that in fact it almost feels fake to me too, because I've neglected to complent her so much in the past, and that I've always felt those ways I just didn't exspress them!! So it is feels odd for me to tell her because I'm not used to doing it And Also because I'm not sure if I should given our current situation!!!

I don't know I think I'm losing my Mind People:confused:

She's telling you that she's scrared of being hurt by you again, and that even though she was committed to working things out ~ she's finding it harder to do than she realized. Once you've lost a woman's trust and respect you're going to play Hell getting it back ~ and you're going to have to work twice if not three times harder and longer to get it back than you did if you'd never lost it in the first place.

So? What you've been trying isn't working, time to pull back and re-group, adpat, improvise and over-come, which means you're going to have to come up with some new and innovative ways of inter-acting.

December 4, 2006

I'll just back off from now on and let her come too me! not in a cold hearted way but just attempting to wait patiently. Did I mention I'll try too wait patiently:eek:

Hope your holidays are going great!!

chad

December 4, 2006

Once you've lost a woman's trust and respect you're going to play Hell getting it back ~ and you're going to have to work twice if not three times harder and longer to get it back than you did if you'd never lost it in the first place.

AMEN!! Definately right on that one! I still don't trust my man and he has done so much to try to get me to trust him.

You're going to have to give her time & space. I know it will be hard but, Let her come to you.

December 4, 2006

I can't figure her out last Sunday when she said she would commit to working it out, She went home got some cloths and spent the night here!! then the rest of the week she has pretty much avoided me!! She agreed to spend the night with me the whole weekend!! Friday night she went out with her friend Brook (I believe her) Saturday night she promised she would stay the night!! She avoided me most of the day, we went to see a movie at 7:30 when we got back here we both spent time with our son When he fell asleep she said she couldn't stay and she was going home!!

She said she just wasn't feeling the same feelings for me, I was putting too much pressure on her!! I know I was but damn!! What am I supposed too do...... I mean You can't commit to working on a marriage and then avoiding your spouse and be afraid of any intimate contact Can You???
(hugs and Kisses NOT SEX) I know she's scared but is she scaring herself right out of any feeling for this marriage??? I think So

What do you all think??

She said her bousing back and forth is not fare on Me!! I agreed with her and said she's Right....... But then I told her I can't give up on her because she is confussed, If she knew for sure she couldn't love me again I'd have no choice but to move on without her..

She also said that when I compliment her Now, she feels I'm only being fake because I'm trying to win her back........ I told her that when I tell her a compliment I mean it and that in fact it almost feels fake to me too, because I've neglected to complent her so much in the past, and that I've always felt those ways I just didn't exspress them!! So it is feels odd for me to tell her because I'm not used to doing it And Also because I'm not sure if I should given our current situation!!!

I don't know I think I'm losing my Mind People:confused:

When I first read this post I was going to write a big long post.... but most of the things I was going to say have been said by PW, Gunny and LisaP...

Only thing I have to say is (and you seem to be getting the picture) is that ... putting pressure on her to (fix this NOW) is going way to fast.. I don't know the stats on it but it take (x) amount of time to gain trust back (x) length of time together....??? (hopefully someone out there remembers this... cause ...... i can't.. ..

Chad... don't push her... don't make demands.... be cool and smooth... yes let her come to you.... she has to want to... she can't be made too.. or pressured into it.. or guilted... I just won't work... and it will make you look demanding... and pressuring.. and etc.... (You don't want that... right???)

I know it is hard bud... you just want her close again.. and loving... and intimate... and carring.. (Geeesh.. I know the feeling:o )

But...Back the hell off..

(Just remember... this is your relationship you are trying to save... so you have everything to lose.... not me... not anyone else...k)

I truly hope the best for you and your W... K

ilmw

December 4, 2006

headddddddddd gamessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

That's all this is turning into. You think she's still talking w/ her ex-bf? The only time you got a good response from her is when you said that you needed x & y or that you were moving on.

Now is the time to show it. Don't be there everytime she comes crying. This is total BS now. She needs to stop acting like a child.

You need to start taking care of yourself, let her worry about herself. Go enjoy life, meet new people and don't be afraid to talk to other women either. There is NOTHING wrong with that. It's just like she doesn't want to be with you, yet she doesn't want anyone else to have you.

The only way to win this, is to not play it. Next time she talks about not having feelings for you then all you need to say is: "I'm sorry you feel that way, perhaps it's best I find someone who will really care and love me for who I am." Then just walk away..

At some point in time you need to decide what are 'you' getting from all of this?

December 4, 2006

I know it is hard bud... you just want her close again.. and loving... and intimate... and carring.. (Geeesh.. I know the feeling:o )

But...Back the hell off..

(Just remember... this is your relationship you are trying to save... so you have everything to lose.... not me... not anyone else...k)

I truly hope the best for you and your W... K

ilmw

I go in waves, I'm totaly cool with taking things slow for a while and then something flips and I get all needy and start with the pressure again. I need to keep that needy switch in the off position (cut the damn power i guess) I'm working on it!!!

Hope all is well with you, and things are looking Up in the R department!!

December 4, 2006

That's all this is turning into. You think she's still talking w/ her ex-bf? The only time you got a good response from her is when you said that you needed x & y or that you were moving on.

Now is the time to show it. Don't be there everytime she comes crying. This is total BS now. She needs to stop acting like a child.

At some point in time you need to decide what are 'you' getting from all of this?

She swears that she has not talked to the other guy since we had our last chat. She says she has no disire to talk to him or here his voice!! Do I doubt her? yeah a little, but in the past before all of this I never misstrusted her. So I do trust her to an exstent, but I have my doubts also! she got a little upset the other day when I asked her about it and told me to give her a little credit!!

I agree when she thinks I'm going going gone she grabs on tighter, then I seam to switch into needy mode being pushy and loving. That then make her step back and question her self. Then I do it all over again!! Is that insanity? yes it is!!

I really understand she is scared and confussed about all this and that she is really questioning her feeling for me! I just can't let go knowing how confused she is!! If I knew her feelings for me were really gone, than there would be nothing left w/ her. that is not the case, I don't think!!

But what I need to do is stop with the pressure stop with the needyness. Because I believe the feeling are there and that she is just blocking them out because of fear and confusion. My pressure is making her double think herself and causing her to flip flop!!

I know that I cannot keep up this way of life before I snap and maybe go of the deep end. I'm trying to find my peace in all of this and put all your guys/gals advice and tips to work!!

Any thing You have to say or add is great

Thanks

December 5, 2006

:eek: I'd ask her: "What's bothering you!"

If she refuses to answer ~ (because she's afraid of the negative reaction if she tells you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the turth!)

Ask her again!

If she refuses a second time, tell her: "Fine! I'm not going to touch you, hold your hand, kiss you nor make love to you again until you tell me!"

The part that the two of you need to be working on ~ and the only part that you need to be working on in this relationship is the "communication" part. Got to get the tactical squak box back up ~ without it the mission is doomed to failure ~ I don't care how much of a Billy-Bad Rambo type you are. No "comm" no calm!

This tactic commuicates volumes ~ its says, "You're feeling and opinions mean more to me than my getting "some" And, I'm in this for more than just the sex. That I "love" you not because I need you, I need you because I love you!" (Don't use this line ~ it'll backfire everytime! And then you'll be doing the "Homer Simpson Dolk" hand upside the head thing.

December 5, 2006

Chad, tonight me & the W had a good talk and she said something that maybe your W is having trouble with.

She told me she is not in love with me right now and that she doesn't miss the "OLD" me and that she will have to learn to love the new me.

Maybe this is what your W is also going thru, they don't want to be with the old person yet they want to see what the new person is like but are still afraid of getting hurt.

My W said her emotions are all over the place right now but one thing our counsoler told us is there is something that is keeping us together as far as going to counsoling and talking and maybe there is just a little glue holding you guys together but your W just doesn't know what it is at this time.

Give her time, and yes I know after tonight what it's like to be patient, it is a BITCH!!!!!

You don't know how it was not to hold her hand, or touch her.

Good luck my friend!!

December 5, 2006

Good post, Perry, good post! Damn good post! From out of the mouth of "babes!" Damn good post!

It never ceases to amaze me to be half a century old and to learn new things about myself and about others! Usually at the expensce of those much younger? The "old" teach the "young" and the "young" teach the "old!"

Such is life! Such is the "circle" of life! Such is the warrior's creed! The "warrior of life!" To conquer the ture enemy ~ one's inner self lies the true victory! The only victory!

Its taken me years to learn, that my greatest enemy was myself!

"Take the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper! For you have learned and grown much from your experiences!" You have transenceded! You are of a differernt "plane" than you were before! You are not as you once was!

December 5, 2006

:eek: I'd ask her: "What's bothering you!"

If she refuses to answer ~ (because she's afraid of the negative reaction if she tells you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the turth!)

Ask her again!

If she refuses a second time, tell her: "Fine! I'm not going to touch you, hold your hand, kiss you nor make love to you again until you tell me!"

The part that the two of you need to be working on ~ and the only part that you need to be working on in this relationship is the "communication" part. Got to get the tactical squak box back up ~ without it the mission is doomed to failure ~ I don't care how much of a Billy-Bad Rambo type you are. No "comm" no calm!

This tactic commuicates volumes ~ its says, "You're feeling and opinions mean more to me than my getting "some" And, I'm in this for more than just the sex. That I "love" you not because I need you, I need you because I love you!" (Don't use this line ~ it'll backfire everytime! And then you'll be doing the "Homer Simpson Dolk" hand upside the head thing.

I'm surely no Rambo type:) I'm pushing with the whole communication thing..... She just doesn't want to talk about things. She is much more at ease not talking about things, she gets very stressed out when talk turns serious. I'm trying to let her go at her own pace and gently (sometimes not so gently) pull her thought and feelings Out!!

On a kinder note, I stopped by her place last night to see my Son and drop of Christmas decor. She was very kind she thanked me for bringing the X-mas stuff and gave me a little Hug (not me hugging her this time) and she made that little moaning squeekie hug noise:rolleyes:

Then 2 mins after I walked in My door she called just to Thank me for coming over!!

December 5, 2006

Chad, tonight me & the W had a good talk and she said something that maybe your W is having trouble with.

She told me she is not in love with me right now and that she doesn't miss the "OLD" me and that she will have to learn to love the new me.

Maybe this is what your W is also going thru, they don't want to be with the old person yet they want to see what the new person is like but are still afraid of getting hurt.

My W said her emotions are all over the place right now but one thing our counsoler told us is there is something that is keeping us together as far as going to counsoling and talking and maybe there is just a little glue holding you guys together but your W just doesn't know what it is at this time.

Give her time, and yes I know after tonight what it's like to be patient, it is a BITCH!!!!!
You don't know how it was not to hold her hand, or touch her.

Good luck my friend!!

Thanks for your input/insight!! and patients really Sucks:p

I'm hoping every thing works out for You and your W.

One thing id for sure we will be better Men after all of this!!

December 5, 2006

Thanks for your input/insight!! and patients really Sucks:p
I'm hoping every thing works out for You and your W.

One thing id for sure we will be better Men after all of this!!

I know we will be better men after this is over, but the part you have to remember is it's something we will have to work on "ALL" the time, you can't stop thinking about it or we will slip back into the old person we were.....

When me & the W talked it seemed to be mostly about me and when I got home I thought to myself; self doesn't she realize there are things she needs to change?

I feel both our W's think its mostly our fault and they don't see what they do that might be part of the reason we do things we did, but you can't focus on that. I think that is why your W doesn't want to talk about the relationship right now, she is scared and hasn't really looked at herself like you have been looking at yourself so they don't understand yes you can change and yes you have changed and yes you will make mistakes, but hopefully you will be able to notice what you did wrong and fix it instead of letting be like a toothache and not doing anything about it until it's to late.

Remember they are going back into a place that they had to work very hard at getting away from, I look at it as going back into a burning building. Is what you are going back after really worth what could happen if you make the wrong move???

Just let her come to you, just like the phone call its her way of reaching out to you in a slow way but she is telling you she is interested but not ready to just jump back into things as quickly as you & I would like.

I know I still need time to keep working at making myself a better person, I am gathering my tools but using the tools is a harder listen then getting the tools and unless you know how to use the tools then having them won't help you at all.

December 5, 2006

I know we will be better men after this is over, but the part you have to remember is it's something we will have to work on "ALL" the time, you can't stop thinking about it or we will slip back into the old person we were.....

When me & the W talked it seemed to be mostly about me and when I got home I thought to myself; self doesn't she realize there are things she needs to change?
I feel both our W's think its mostly our fault and they don't see what they do that might be part of the reason we do things we did, but you can't focus on that. I think that is why your W doesn't want to talk about the relationship right now, she is scared and hasn't really looked at herself like you have been looking at yourself so they don't understand yes you can change and yes you have changed and yes you will make mistakes, but hopefully you will be able to notice what you did wrong and fix it instead of letting be like a toothache and not doing anything about it until it's to late.

Remember they are going back into a place that they had to work very hard at getting away from, I look at it as going back into a burning building. Is what you are going back after really worth what could happen if you make the wrong move???

Just let her come to you, just like the phone call its her way of reaching out to you in a slow way but she is telling you she is interested but not ready to just jump back into things as quickly as you & I would like.

I know I still need time to keep working at making myself a better person, I am gathering my tools but using the tools is a harder listen then getting the tools and unless you know how to use the tools then having them won't help you at all.

You know what PW... your posts just keep getting better and better.

You are so right about the not forgetting and always working on "it" meaning you.... and your relationship... always evolving.. always adapting... never forgetting what happened before...

To think you have arrived... at your destination... and "relax" or "slack off" is realy your first foot back out the door with all your worldy possessions in black Glad bags...

It kinda reminds me of my army days... you arrived at a sight... you would send someone out for ground sentry NBC.. another buy would be anti aircraft sentry.. and radio operator... the rest ... digging shell scrapes (fox holes) camming up the tanks... getting some food on setting up "bashas".. or to my american/canadian friends.. "hooches"(i think that is how it is spelled) ... always doing something... and the moment you slack off... boom your a gonner... some prick has snuck on you... and it is END EX (exercise over)... That stuff was taken pretty seriously when I was in...

Now that point to that little history lesson is this... never slack off.. always keep working at it... do your best... be a man not a winer... and most of all.... love your wife/husband.. like no other... and date then till you drop.. I think this is one of the greatest things I have learned...

Now just would like the opportunity to exercise all this new found knowledge:lmao: :lmao: ..

Patience... to walk with grace... and humility... while still being a man.. that is my goal.... and I think I'm getting there...

What are your goals...guys and gals?

ilmw

December 5, 2006

My main goals are to continue the way I've been!! I've always respected and treated people the way i want to be treated! That is exactly How I treated my wife when she was just a GirlFriend, some where along the line I stopped treating her the ways I was still treating everyone else!! So the goal is keep dating my Wife and try not to let it become a mundain effort of simply living together!! Don't let life take over the priority of the marriage!!

My wife has also made it clear that she knows I;m not the only one at fault for this whole mess!! She has stated many time that she needs to work on as many differnt things as I do!! So that is a good thing, because if She thought she was faultless in all of this I don't think I would want to Work on this all that Bad!!

December 7, 2006

today just plain sucks, I'm in a bad mood I'm pissed off sad and hurt....

sorry just figure if I told you guys i would feel a little better

December 7, 2006

Chad re-read my prior post. It's understandable to be feeling sad, you'll be on a roller-coaster ride for awhile, but you need to take what we've been giving you and put them into action. If you fall into this pity-ditch, which is very easy to do then you won't get anywhere.

This is the time to force yourself to go out, meet new friends (even female ones) and start doing things for yourself. Control what you can, don't worry about the things you can't control.

December 7, 2006

Chad re-read my prior post. It's understandable to be feeling sad, you'll be on a roller-coaster ride for awhile, but you need to take what we've been giving you and put them into action. If you fall into this pity-ditch, which is very easy to do then you won't get anywhere.

This is the time to force yourself to go out, meet new friends (even female ones) and start doing things for yourself. Control what you can, don't worry about the things you can't control.

I feel ya J. This just sucks is all:mad: . Do you got a magic shot of something that will help:o ...............................Wish it were that easy sometimes!! But then I guess we would never learn anything..............................................!!!! And life would get boring!!!!

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