Brittanyjean06 Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 I've just now discovered that an old friend of mine who is 19 years old who has known this guy for a year is getting married. Along with my ex and his gf who have been together for a year are getting married? Why so quick to get married and why is bad to get married at this age? I hope I don't fall head over heals for someone and than get married out of that love passion feeling that lasts the first two years?..I know some marriages last but that was back in the day. Way back in the day
a4a Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Why so quick to get married and why is bad to get married at this age? Because you have no clue who the hell you really are at such a young age. I truly believe there should be a law that states no marriage until at least the age of 21. I think 25 would be more realistic.
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted August 15, 2006 Author Posted August 15, 2006 I think 21 is still a little bit too young aren't you so different from 21 to 25? I don't even know who I am, its really hard to figure it out at 18I go from a mix of wanting to keep brown than want blonde hair than want short hair than want long...and style too..its crazy...maybe everyone is like that?
norajane Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 My cousin (24) is getting married to a guy (35) and they've only been dating 7 or 8 months. Seems nuts to me, but there's a lot of pressure out there to get married. I think young people do it because they just don't know any better - have no idea how what they want now will be very different from what they want 5 or 10 years on - and they won't listen to 'old people' trying to explain the facts of life...as though we were never their age and have no clue!
Author Brittanyjean06 Posted August 15, 2006 Author Posted August 15, 2006 I'll take your word for that. I'm a completely different person now than I was 14 so I'm sure I'll be different years from now
RecordProducer Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Well it has its good sides too. You get the experience that you wouldn't otherwise and next time you make better choices. I really, truly believe that thanks to my previous marriage, I made a much better choice with my second husband (even in the circumstances where we didn't get to know each other very well due to the distance) than if I stayed single until my late 20s or eraly 30s hadn't I had any previous experience with marriage. I know myself and I know I would be able to make the same mistake I made at 23 - at 33 too. But NOT after I made it once. Even the children and the profesional and financial slow-down due to the marriage and two kids didn't ruin my future in any sense. You have to pay for the school of life one way or another... unless you're so lucky to get the right thing in the first shot.
michelangelo Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 was it one of the gabor sisters? Seriously, I married young and have regretted it. It was a stupid and rash thing to do.
quankanne Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 sounds like those teen marriages are a way of preserving the status quo in the face of change. Think about it: you marry your high school sweetheart, and even though your life changes with the marriage, you still have one familiar relationship/setting in your life. Which sounds kind of nice, until you factor in change and growth … a lot of young-love relationships just can't handle change because those involved are not emotionally equipped to go through it. which is why I never think it's smart to marry the person you've dated all through high school without first being apart and experiencing change (new job, college, traveling) for a couple of years. You mature, and hopefully THEY mature, and you have something worthwile to bring to the table. just my two cents.
blind_otter Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Well it has its good sides too. You get the experience that you wouldn't otherwise and next time you make better choices. Some of us don't want to have a "next time". I find it hard to utter the marriagevows considering I did the same thing previously and obviously it didn't stick. I find it hard to stomach the moral inconsistencies involved with pledging to be with someone "in sickness and health, 'til death do us part....uh...this time I mean it for REAL." I mean come on. I wouldn't wish the experience of ending a marriage on anyone, and I would sincerely hope that others would choose differently for God's sake. In my case misery does not love company.
PinkShorts Posted August 16, 2006 Posted August 16, 2006 My parents married young and grew in the same direction. Some people grow apart and it doesn't matter if you marry at thirty. People are more selfish the older they get and don't kid yourself that you will find happiness if you wait. Some people miss that chance that they are given and never find the same love again. That's why a large percentage of married couples would ditch their marriage to rekindle a first love. There was a study about it. Plus, the needs are more superficial the older you get. A lot of people will get immediately crossed out of your dating pool (who might have been "the one") just because they don't hold a specific job, make a certain amount of money, look a certain way, or even because they are not anywhere close to wanting marriage etc. Some women just look for men who will quickly commit and marry when they are desperate and want kids at their ripe age. You will likely not find a strong love but instead good "father" material, "friendship" material or "income" material etc. There are way too many unhappy marriages. I'll never get married. No THANKS! I'm happy the way things are right now. Living together and being a step-mom is nice enough for the time being.
RecordProducer Posted August 16, 2006 Posted August 16, 2006 Some of us don't want to have a "next time". Well, see? You learned something and it improved your life. I find it hard to stomach the moral inconsistencies involved with pledging to be with someone "in sickness and health, 'til death do us part....uh...this time I mean it for REAL." Well for real would mean that one would have to kill the other one so that the vows are fulfilled!
kulyok Posted August 16, 2006 Posted August 16, 2006 I am not even thirty, but I suppose that at fifteen, eighteen, twenty and twenty-three I still stand by the same principle: I would marry the one I love, and that's it. Certainly not an addict and not an abuser - but that's it. I've had my share of happy, fulfillng relationships with warmth, friendship, physical part and so on - with everything, but without love - and I am quite certain I do not want to marry like that. I want to love and to be loved. The other thing is whether a person is adequate. Some can be mature and responsible and knowing what they want at 18 already, others are still immature at 35.
penkitten Posted August 21, 2006 Posted August 21, 2006 some people dont have to date very much at all to know they want to spend the rest of their lives together and thats wonderful. however, i think these people are rushing into it thinking it will only cause happiness to come and they dont think thru all the other things that will come their way and hard times ahead. just be glad that you are wiser than that and know that you dont play when it comes to love .
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