LittleNikki20 Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 My boyfriend and i have been together 10months, we were close for two years before that as friends. His parents have recently had to move out to look after their parents. They have left the house to him and he has asked me to move in with him. I moved in with his a few weeks ago, something we had been discussing. He decided a few weeks ago that he wants to be with his friends more, i respected that and told i understand him wanting to see his friends i think its healthy as i see mine more than he tends to see his. Anyway last night he invited two of his friends round who he is going out for a drink with. They came in and i was on my way out. i said hello and i said im setting off in a second. he began to show them around the house, i ran upstairs to get my phone off charge and my friend (who i was meeting that night) text to say she was going to be a bit late so i decided to go downstairs and sit in thelounge and give it another 20minutes. My boyfriend was sat in the kitchen talking to the lads. (He thought id already gone out) I over heard his friends say why dont you look at buying next door when your parents sell this house, i over heard him say "i dont even know if i can live with her mate!" He replied "f*ck it move in with me!" my boyfriend replied "that would be f*cking ace!" I sat there in disbelief i jangled my car keys to let him know i was still there, he went silent. Ishouted "im going now" and he followed me to the door, i could see in his face he knew hed done wrong. He kept trying to tell me that he did know i was there i told him not to lie to me. I understand that he does need to make sure things are good before getting another place but i felt so belittled.
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 He may have just been posturing in front of the boys. Then again, I believe the best indicator of how someone feels about you isn't what they say "to" you … rather what they say "about" you to others behind your back. The sudden silence in the room simply meant that you had just gelded the entire herd of studs with a subtle tinkling of your keys. Now we know who REALLY rules the roost! :laugh: I'd be pretty ticked off if I were you, too. But I wouldn't let this fester until you sit him down and ask him exactly what he meant by that. I imagine he's already tucking his tail and working on his rebuttal.
tikigods Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 I think you need to really sit down and think "do I want to be with someone that talks about me that way with their friends?", you need to find out if he was serious, and if so its time to move on to bigger and better things
SadGreenEyes Posted August 16, 2006 Posted August 16, 2006 I can totally relate to how hearing your boyfriend talk trash about you or whatever made you feel. Im in a similar situation. My boyfriend of a little over 2 years does, what I call, "bashes" me to his friends. How do I know this? Have I ever "overheard" a conversation? uh uh. Nope. My boyfriend lovingly tells me word for word what his "friends", coworkers, dental assistants, neighbors, and God knows who else he airs our dirty laundry out to, say about me and their honest opinions about me. This is something that has happened from the beginning with one particular female friend of his. They had been friends for 13 years and she had always been in love with him and wanted more than a friendship. He never did. Nothing outside of one kiss years and years ago has anything happened. Once he told her we started dating, she became your typical jealous female. Him, being the man who tells people EVERYTHING...(His mouth does get him into trouble with me ), things these other people have no right knowing and naturally when he boo boo lips to them, "Ohh, she's torturing me...the house isnt clean enough...She's this, she's that...after he cries them a river and tells them crap about me, it is when we have our next argument does he rip me to shreads and tells me what these so called friends of his says...including coworkers, oh and dont forget the neighbors. "They all think you're using me" They all think you've never had it so good and that Im a great guy and you should thank your lucky stars for me". They all think your white trash, a liar, a manipulater, etc. **These are a few of my favorite things**, sorry had to break out into song...anyway, mind you I am an adult woman..gonna be 37 next week..As he is screaming these things at me Im thinking to myself, Self...The only way these people know ANYTHING about you is from what he tells them. I have only met...oh, say..1 of his closest friends, an older woman who is quite opinionated, and 2 of his coworkers. That's it. Yet, everyone he in on contact with knows everything about everything and it's because of the weakest link between all of us - my boyfriend. Please, be careful. Trashing you behind your back is one thing, you dont have to hear it. When you over hear it, that's not cool. I would have flipped out and I respect your "calmness" regarding the situation as it was happening. One thing I always try to tell my boyfriend is this - Always remember when you are talking bad about me behind my back to everyone you come in contact with...for me, please be sure to tell them, There are 2 sides to every story. Im sorry you had to go through this. It's not easy. Good Luck SGE
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