Guest Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Hi, I've been with my bf for a couple of months. It was a close friend of one of my best friend (he's the one who introduced us)... We get along great and seem to be on the same page for pretty much everything that matters. In fact, he's spending almost all of his time at my place and even when he's not (i.e: going out with his friends, doing his stuff at home, etc), he always ends up sleeping over my place. I really love it as in a way, I have all of the advantage of ''living with a boyfriend'' (cuddling, etc) without the inconvenients.... The thing is, yesterday, he've asked me when are we going to move in together. I wasn't too sure what to tell him... especially since I'm pretty much sure that he wanted to move in with me sometime soon (i.e: not the next year - at the end of our lease)... In a way, I would love too because in some ways, I have nothing to lose... We would stay at my place which is big enought for two (2 bedrooms) and the lease will still be in my name so if for some reasons it does not work out, I'd get to keep my appartment. I know he's not a crazy maniac either since my friend knew him for many years... Right now, I just feel like saying yes but at the same time my logical side tells me that after two months, it a ''little'' too soon... I mean, I don't know him that much.... I don't even think he has any default at all which I know cannot be the case since nobody's perfect... Also, neither of us has an history of moving in very fast... Before we both met, we both were in an almost 2 years relationship and neither of us were living with our ex... And before that we both lived with our ex for a couple of years.... I think that us, both having the same close friend might have accelerate the ''process of trust'' (I trust him and think he's a great person because he always acted like it so far but I also think that I trust my best friend's jugement and I think it's probably the same for him...). Anyway, just wondering what you guys thought on the issue... Do you have any related experience? If so, what have you done and did it work? Would you have done it differently in retrospective? Thank you so much for your advice! PS: I'm 24 and he's 26...
AwkwardMan Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Sounds like he likes you a lot, is his lease ending soon? Is the money an issue? Moving in after two months is VERY fast and a little clingy, but I'm sure it could work out.
bluechocolate Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 After two months you should just be coming to the decision as to whether the relationship is exclusive. Moving in together?? Yikes! I don't want to rain on your parade or anything, but I'll suggest you need to be a little careful here.
AwkwardMan Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 After two months you should just be coming to the decision as to whether the relationship is exclusive. Moving in together?? Yikes! I don't want to rain on your parade or anything, but I'll suggest you need to be a little careful here. Some relationships move faster than others. If they've spent so many nights together, they're a lot further along in the relationship than say a couple who's gone out on ten dates or whatever.
Guest Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Sounds like he likes you a lot, is his lease ending soon? Is the money an issue? Moving in after two months is VERY fast and a little clingy, but I'm sure it could work out. To answer your question, no, money is not an issue. We're not rich but we're both able to pay our bills without any problems. In fact, saving money by living together was not even brought up in the conversation.... I'm not sure when his lease is ending (I think it's in march of next year if I'm right...) but the first thing I told him is that I do not want his roomate to hate me. I told him that he should at least stay at his place until his lease ends or wait until his roomate (who is also one of his friend) find someone else which he totally agreed upon... You're right though.... It is VERY fast...
bluechocolate Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Some relationships move faster than others. And some relationships end faster than others. If they've spent so many nights together, they're a lot further along in the relationship than say a couple who's gone out on ten dates or whatever. No they're not. They've just spent more nights together. Anyway, OP - you have to wait until the infatuation has run its course before even contemplating moving in together. I mean, I don't know him that much.... Exactly. Everything is still new & exciting & immensely enjoyable. You have plenty more to find out about each other.
Flutterby74 Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 It sounds like you already are having reservations. If you are having to ask, then it is probably too soon. Take things slowly so you can thing through your decisions. Wait until you feel it is right.
rina_r Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 After two months you should just be coming to the decision as to whether the relationship is exclusive. Says who??? Every relationship is very specific and personal. That is the way that may perfectly work for them.
bluechocolate Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Says who??? Says me. Wasn't that obvious???
Newbee78 Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 I've been with my bf for 3 mos and we spend every night together either at my apartment or his house. I would love to move in with him but he hasn't said anything about it yet. We spoke briefly about it and he knows that he just has to say the word and I'm there, but nothing really came of it. So I'm just waiting for him to ask me. I think if the two of you know in your hearts that you are in love and that you can't live without eachother then two months being together shouldn't be an issue. You don't have anything to lose. Life is too short. Take the plunge and enjoy every minute of it!!!
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