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yesterday he had a ring on???

pricillia

By pricillia
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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pricillia Established Member

pricillia

Posted
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Hi all I can't think right now...

 

Yesterday I saw my man, he was not expecting to see me...I looked down at his hands and he had a ring on his left ring finger... A gold wedding band. I simply asked what is this? He said that it was his Fathers ring and that he always wears it. I have been seeing him since late March and this is the first time that he has worn it.

 

I asked him if he was married and he said no and that I should not worry about that. I did tell him calmly that I would be very hurt if he was married. We talked for a few more moments and then I left.

 

I called him and left him a message and told him that I was still concerned with the "ring thing" He called me right back and said that he thought that we should "just let go" because he has alot of things on his mind that he can not handle things right now.

 

Keep in mind that he will not tell me what he is going throught because he said that it was too difficult, I told him that I may be able to help him but he said that no one can help him with what he is going through.

 

Help

bluechocolate Established Member

bluechocolate

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Perhaps he's married to his father?

 

Seriously though - I think this really is a no-brainer - he's married.

sickkitty Established Member

sickkitty

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Oh dear doesnt sound good...................... Follow ur head not ur heart

ImmaBeAlright Member

ImmaBeAlright

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He's married and forgot to take his ring off.

Pink Amulet Established Member

Pink Amulet

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If you see him next time, and he isn't wearing it... he is married. Come to think of it, even if he is wearing it, he's married :p

 

What do you know about his house? Family? Friends?

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pricillia Established Member

pricillia

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Well he has kept things pretty private

his house and his friends and all... I really don't think he has any friends...

He went home for two weeks and when he came back it was nice but soon after he started acting unlike himself.

 

The other day he was not being a very nice person... I left him alone

He then realized that and he called me I think about 8 times I finally answered. He is hot and cold... Because I left him alone he thinks I am seeing someone else... Heck he has always thought that but it is not true.

 

I know that he has a 12 year old son whom I have never met...I have seen a pic and talked to him on the phone once. I tell him that I feel like he keeps me away for some reason... we touch on it but nothing too serious.

 

In the beginning I asked him if he was married he swore to me that he was not.

 

 

I feel numb right now.

a4a Established Member

a4a

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There are plenty of ways to access public records to see if he is indeed married. I would suggest you do so before you continue any sort of relationship with this man.

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pricillia Established Member

pricillia

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There are plenty of ways to access public records to see if he is indeed married. I would suggest you do so before you continue any sort of relationship with this man.

 

 

yeah ok any ideas... I thought about that but...

a4a Established Member

a4a

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yeah ok any ideas... I thought about that but...

 

 

First you can start with a internet phone # look up..... see if W name is on there.

 

Property Tax records online Last name and general county location is usually enough to get a list online...... see if W name is on property.

 

Some marriage and divorce records are available online as well.

 

A simple google of his name as well may or may not turn up something.

 

I am betting the guy is indeed married..... but if you need the absolute proof then start looking for it. You can also do a background check you pay for.

 

But who knows if this guy even gave you his real name?

 

I suggest you run.

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pricillia Established Member

pricillia

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Well we work in the same building so I know that he is giving me his real name.

 

Would a license plate look up do?

a4a Established Member

a4a

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Well we work in the same building so I know that he is giving me his real name.

 

Would a license plate look up do?

 

Depends on if the car is just reg in his name or both H and W..... but you should be able to get an addy for his home. (don't do anything illegal)

 

The guy is either indeed married or semi- separated. Either way bad news for you.... regardless he does not seem like such a catch if he is playing games.

bab Established Member

bab

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Have you never been to his house? If not, demand to go to his house. It will be evident if a woman lives there, just check the closets. This sounds really fishy to me though, if it was really his fathers wouldn't he be more likely to wear it on his right hand?

a4a Established Member

a4a

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ah you work in the same building....... I would think that some casual conversation with coworkers may reveal if he is married.

 

again quite sure he is or maybe is currently in the midst of patching up his marriage

mishy Established Member

mishy

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I think he just forgot to take the ring off and he is indeed married. And all the hot and cold business and how you don't know any of his friends or his homelife - sorry sweety, i know you are having a hard time at the moment because i read your other post- but i really do think he is married. Either way - he sounds downright suss to me.

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pricillia Established Member

pricillia

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Have you never been to his house? If not, demand to go to his house. It will be evident if a woman lives there, just check the closets. This sounds really fishy to me though, if it was really his fathers wouldn't he be more likely to wear it on his right hand?

 

He said after I asked him about the ring that he would invite me to his house and I would see that him and his son live there only. He offered to give me the ring???

Adunaphel Established Member

Adunaphel

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Ouch. The ring is bad news. And wearing the ring exactly the day he was not expecting to see you does not sound good.

 

He said after I asked him about the ring that he would invite me to his house and I would see that him and his son live there only. He offered to give me the ring???

 

Take the ring (you can give it back after a little while, and meanwhile you can have a closer look at it) and insist to see his house as soon as possible.

He could take you to a second house he owns, but chances are very high that you'd spot it if it is not the house he usually lives in!

 

This sounds like an ignorant questions, but don't US citizens have identity cards (or any other document) that include information about the marital status of the bearer?

bluechocolate Established Member

bluechocolate

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He offered to give me the ring???

 

Is that a question or a statement?

 

Whatever, this just gets weirder. One minute it's his father ring which he has always worn & you've never seen before & the next minute he's giving it away.

 

He called me right back and said that he thought that we should "just let go" because he has alot of things on his mind that he can not handle things right now.

 

I think you should take him up on his suggestion - "just let go".

InaPanic Established Member

InaPanic

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I wonder if he's not living with his wife but still legally married. Sometimes people seperate & it takes years before one or the other make a move to actually get a divorce. I wonder if his 2 week trip could've been to visit her & maybe that's why he started acting weird. I hope for your sake he is telling you the truth. Good luck.

a4a Established Member

a4a

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I wonder if he's not living with his wife but still legally married. Sometimes people seperate & it takes years before one or the other make a move to actually get a divorce. I wonder if his 2 week trip could've been to visit her & maybe that's why he started acting weird. I hope for your sake he is telling you the truth. Good luck.

 

Good theory...... it fits well. Like I said he may be attempting to get back with his wife.

 

Regardless if wearing a ring he is not ready to move onto a new relationship.

amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

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Because I left him alone he thinks I am seeing someone else... Heck he has always thought that but it is not true.

 

 

This, to me, would mean HE is the one with a guilty conscience. Most people in relationships don't think this of their partner unless they have cause (or guilt!)

KLG Member

KLG

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Samething happen to me. He never had a ring on but...everything else. I never was at his house, never met people other than the ones we both knew and one day I said "maybe I'll just suprise you and pick you up for lunch at work". To him, this was a hugh deal! When I questioned him about it, he also wanted to "just let it go".

 

As it turns out 10 months into our relationship I find out he his married and still shares the same house with his WIFE. But I still didn't understand why he could stay at my house until 2, 3, and 4 in the morning, and spend weekends away with me. What wife would put up with that?

 

What I found out is sometimes these things can happen...

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pricillia Established Member

pricillia

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Samething happen to me. He never had a ring on but...everything else. I never was at his house, never met people other than the ones we both knew and one day I said "maybe I'll just suprise you and pick you up for lunch at work". To him, this was a hugh deal! When I questioned him about it, he also wanted to "just let it go".

 

As it turns out 10 months into our relationship I find out he his married and still shares the same house with his WIFE. But I still didn't understand why he could stay at my house until 2, 3, and 4 in the morning, and spend weekends away with me. What wife would put up with that?

 

What I found out is sometimes these things can happen...

 

Hi KLG

 

I am crushed about this whole thing... How can you look into someones eyes and lie? oh really stupid question he wanted to have sex thats right.

I am just having a hard time believing this whole thing

damm it!

KLG Member

KLG

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I have spent a lot of time asking that same question. I can't find one good answer. If you have any reservation in your heart dig, dig and dig until you get the answer you need.

 

Since all this has come to light for me, I have found he doesn't live where he said he did, he has quite his job (I'm guessing he didn't want anyone there to get wind...his wife used to work there too. All the lies have unraveled. It's heartbreaking, devistating, anything else that fits in the blank.

 

One other thing believe what you see and what you find out yourself...if he is married, he will keep up the front no matter what. These kind of people will cover their tracks at all cost.

Brittanyjean06 Established Member

Brittanyjean06

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He must be married, why else would have just suddenly ( mistakenly) put that ring back on his finger? He is going through something really hard and he can't share that to you.

 

He is married. and thats probaly what hes going through.

 

Does he ever go " out of town" or is a away

 

Time for some snooopin

Ariadne Established Member

Ariadne

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Hi,

 

You can ask him to see the ring.

 

Usually they have stuff written inside, and a date engraved.

 

He may not want to give it to you though, and try to break up if you ask too many questions.

 

(The other thing is follow him).

 

Good luck,

 

Ariadne

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