Guest Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 i used to have a really good friend that i saw all the time and confided things to. i asked her to be my bridesmaid which was all going fine, then she told me a few months ago that she can't make it because her aunt is getting married overseas (a month before my wedding) but she wants to go overseas for the whole month and take the time to catch up with family. ok, fair enough but we work in the building next to each other, and used to lunch quite a bit. since that time, she didn't email me for lunch and when i emailed her, she said that she was busy. one day, i emailed her and asked if there was a problem - if she was mad at me. she wrote back saying no no, of course not, just that she is busy butthat it was important to her that i cared enough to ask her. fast forward another few weeks and i still haven't heard from her, so i called her on the weekend. twice. no answer, no one called back. today, i called her work, found out she is away on leave for 2 weeks, so i tried her mobile, using my work phone. she picks up right away. says that she is driving and will talk later. i get a feeling i won't get a response later. she didn't exactly sound happy to hear from me, nor did she seem inclined to want to talk. i seriously don't know what the problem is. or whether there even is a problem! the fact that i called her several times with no response is kind of strange also. i feel like just giving up, but at the same time, it is strange to "lose a friendship" when nothing's really happened and i haven't even talked to her about it. i get the feeling that getting in touch with her is going to be hard. is she just avoiding me? if so, why? do i just don't worry about it or keep trying? i mean, the friendship is worth it, but i think it's really rude how she just ignores my calls. (i think) if she's got an issue, why can't she come out and say it?
P1xie Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 I think I would give up. You have tried numerous times to talk with her and she has not responded.
whichwayisup Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Yeah, don't call or email anymore. Her silence is your answer. If she wanted to talk to you, she would have already. Focus on your upcoming wedding and be with people who are your true friends, not ones who say "too busy" and don't return calls.
littlekitty Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 From what I remember didn't you express your displeasure to her that she was letting you down as a bridesmaid? Perhaps she's taken offence at this and isn't interested in the friendship anymore? Either way, I think it's time to stop chasing her. If she wanted to speak to you or see you she's had every opportunity. It seems she's made up her mind.
Adunaphel Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Don't call anymore, or call/write to her in a few months. Her behaviour is very strange, but it might really have nothing to do with you. Some friends of mine did something similar, one of them (who is my best friend and whom I've known for more than 10 years) acted like your friend for a while, then disappeared for a couple of years, until she contacted me again. She was genuinely going through some big problems.
ZICKAR Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 I agree...and I once went through a simillar situation... Maybe she is having some personal problems and will get back to you when she resolves them .... Three months might have been just a little too much time but if you can't think of any thing wrong you did maybe nothing is wrong afterall...I always say when you stop waiting that's when your wait will end and what you have waited for will show up....Stop waiting and she will come arround
directx Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 Here is what you do. Call/email her one more time and ask if anything is wrong and if she is avoiding you for some reason. If she says 'everything is alright', say ok and forget about her. Let her call you back when she wants to. If she doesn't, oh well. My guess is she is probably discovered something about herself that is embarassing or you may not approve of. Like, maybe she is gay or pregnant or something, or maybe her parents don't like you and she is believing them.
prncssfce9 Posted August 29, 2006 Posted August 29, 2006 maybe she is having an affair and thinks you would be mad ... or maybe she just gets bored with people.
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