Guest Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 So here's the short story. I've been friends with this girl for a long time. We started spending some time with each other over the summer and everything went great. We are pretty close friends. Just before this, she was going thru a pretty rough situation with an ******* of a guy. Always knew the right things to say to piss her off, and always made her upset(I guess there had to be good moments to). I was always there for her during those times. This kinda is what made us hang out a few times again, it had been a while. Well, what we never expected to happen, happened. We started liking each other. Nothing Major, we'd only made out and things like that. She just knew she wasn't ready for a relationship so we're taking things extremely slow to make sure no one does something stupid. Well, apparently this other guy(who had no interest in her as a girlfriend) found out she was starting to get involved with/like another guy. So all of a sudden he comes back and says hey I wanna get with you. If you want my opinion, I think he's just jealous and wants to have total control of her in my honest opinion. Ok, so now the problem. She's stuck in a "I don't know what to do/who to choose" situation. She told him she can't be with him because she has feelings for me, and she told me she can't be with me because she has feelings for him as well. She loved this guy even though he put her through hell, so I can't blame her and I certainly don't expect her feelings for me to match that, because we haven't gave it the same amount of time. So...Do I stick around and keep doing what im doin and when she makes her decision I go from there? Or do I just back off now. I don't want to back off because I'm afraid I'd lose every chance I have with her, and she is a really close friend of mine and I dont want to ruin that either. I really dont want to see her hurt again because shes been a close friend for some time, and also because I know id never do that to her. Any help would be great. -Ryan
norajane Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Back off immediately. If she doesn't know that she wants to be with you, that's enough for you to back off before YOU GET YOUR HEART BROKEN! This woman could string you along for a while, and will eventually go back to that guy because she's not over him. If she put up with his behavior and still wanted him, she will go back to him eventually, because she just can't help herself. And she'll cry on your shoulder every time he hurts her, which, of course, he will. But she won't leave him. Free yourself from this disaster now. Tell her if she isn't interested enough in you to know her mind, that you'd rather not go out with her. Don't give her a choice to make. Make a choice for YOURSELF.
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