Miss Mary Mac Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 ...now she's stopped speaking to me. Two years ago I was a passenger in a car that was hit head on by a truck, which was driven by my friend's son. The car was completely totalled and we were taken to the ER. Ironicaly my friend was also in the car. Thankfully, none of us were seriously injured but we were all banged up, bruised, & sore. My friend's son was deemed completely at fault Initially my injuries appeared to be soft tissue effecting my neck, back, and shoulders. However, after numerous doctor's visits, tests, PT, meds, and injections I continued to be in agonizing pain. Eventually, I underwent disc fusion surgery to repair my cervical spine and although it was successful I continue to have some pain and weakness. About 6 weeks ago I underwent another surgery on my shoulder to repair partial tears and impingement. I'm still in terrible pain but PT and meds are helping. The doctor's have said that all of my injuries are directly related to the accident. My friend also suffered back/neck injuries in the accident as did the driver of the car. The driver sued for her injuries and car damages and settled last year. I retained a lawyer after I discovered the seriousness of my injuries and told my friend of my intent. We never discussed the legal aspects but my friend continued to be sympathetic and apologetic. Her son never contacted me. I didn't blame my friend or her son because I know this was simply an accident and my friend and I continued to speaking regularly. Last month I ran into my friend and she told me her son had just received the lawsuit papers. The suit is against the company he drove for, the company that leased the truck, and him (actually his insurance). My friend said that her son was extremely upset and worried that I was sueing him personally. I said that I would never take any of his assets and he should contact his insurance company. It was very awkward and I could tell she was upset. She hugged me and left. I've called her several times since but she hasn't returned any of my calls. I love my friend and her son but I also have to think about my future. I'm also upset because she knows how this accident has effected my life and I'm hurt that she's ignoring me. Do you think the relationship is lost?
hotgurl Posted August 16, 2006 Posted August 16, 2006 Well while it is true that the insurance co is going to be the one paying. I can see how she would want to protect her son. But you have a right to get finacial compensation for your injuries. I would say the friendship will never be the same. It's unfortunate but happens a lot in these situations.
SoleMate Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 Never get between a mother and her child. The protective instinct is just too strong. This applies to grizzly bears AND homo sapiens. I think you have been very fair and reasonable. Continue to be so, and I hope your friend will come around eventually.
PinkShorts Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I'm sure she will come around once this whole thing is settled and she realizes that you didn't take a dime from her son, but the insurance company instead. She needs time to sort out the info first and realize everything is going to turn out alright.
RecordProducer Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I am more worried about your health than his assets. You said he was completely at fault. May I ask what exactly happened? I find it very distubing that becuase of some people's mistakes, other people have to suffer their whole lives. The guy should be happy to make it up for oyu, not be upset that you're suing him. I am totally on your side and if your friend can't understand that then she is not your friend anymore, because the circumstances have changed. You sound very tolerant and forgiving. Nobody deserves back pain. Just because you're alive and walking doesn't mean you're fine and have to suffer and go through surgeries. This was not your fault, it was his. You did nothing wrong yet you live in pain.
PinkShorts Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I wonder what she takes for the pain and to what degree it helps. You're very right RP. btw, was he speeding or what?
HokeyReligions Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 The relationship may be lost, I'm almost sure it will never be the same. My brother went thru something similar and lost his friend for good. Brother had moved out of his house after his wife died. He tried to sell the house but couldn't and couldn't continue the payments. He found a family to move in on a lease/purchase agreement with the bank, but the people defaulted and moved out. The house stood empty for a while and the son of his friend and neighbor broke into the house and was smoking and burned the place down. The bank is going after my brother and the only way out for him is to sue the neighbor whose son burned the place down. There was no insurance on the house at that point because the other people defaulted and brother couldn't keep up payments - he was living in an unheated metal shack for several years while trying to find a job and get on his feet. That was 14 years ago and he is STILL mired in all the legal crap and has tried to avoid a lawsuit, but it was inevitable. He lost his friends over this, but he doesn't blame them - they are family - he was a friend. Families stick together.
Mary3 Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I agree that OP has done everything correct. However I caution OP from making statements to former friend like " I promise this ___or won't do that_____ " because afterall there is a lawsuit involved and what you say could be used against you. Friend or ( former ) friend or not.........
Author Miss Mary Mac Posted August 23, 2006 Author Posted August 23, 2006 Thanks for the responses. Believe it or not I broke my ankle the other night. I lost my balance and couldn't use my arm to help me! I feel like someone's put a hex on me! I've been on lots of meds but currently just vicodin/tylenol and ibuprofen. Nothing really takes the pain away but it does take the edge off enough for me to funcion. The vicodin worries me a bit because I've been taking it for quite some time but I really only take it when I have pain so the doc says I'll be OK. He happened to be driving in front of us (coincidentally) and he stopped his truck in the middle of the street so we stopped about 10-20 feet behind him. He then immediately reversed at full speed and we had no time to do anything but brace ourselves. I was in the front passenger seat so I could see him coming and tried to get out but there just was no time. He hit us with such force the car went backwards another 10 feet or so and we were all screaming. It literally happened in seconds. The police came to the hospital and interviewed us all and told us that there was no question he was at fault. He said he thought some one threw a rock at his truck and he was backing up to see who it was...totally stupid. I've never been involved with a lawsuit before but I do agree that I probably shouldn't say anything one way or another so thanks for the advice. It's just such a crazy situation. My friend has contacted me since I originally wrote this, twice in fact. She said she's had a lot of craziness going on but it has nothing to do with me or the lawsuit. We're going to have lunch later this week...I'll keep you posted.
FredTravels Posted August 24, 2006 Posted August 24, 2006 I would say that the worst thing that could happen is that your friend's son could lose his job. Possibly the company's insurance company will forbid them to allow him to drive any of their vehicles. If this is in the US, he is NOT being sued personally. THe company has the insurance on the vehicle and subsequently the employee. A company ought to have at minimum a $3MM liability policy if not a LOT more since they have vehicles--much less trucks. Should the suit exhaust the company's liability, then yes they can subrogate and go after the driver personally; but it does not sound as if this is the case. People buy insurance just for this reason. If someone falls down the steps in my house and breaks their neck, I fully expect that I will be involved in a lawsuit in some way--friend or not!
Recommended Posts