brightskies Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 Those men are not as rare as you think. She can always go for the religious type of men who don't believe in sex outside of marriage. I'm not a religious man myself therefore I'm abstaining for other reasons as I've stated before. For me the risks of having a 20 year project of taking care of children far outweigh the immediate intense fleshly gratification that I would be getting from 1 night of sex. She can find other men out there who are thinking about the future reprecussions of having the kind of sex that can get a woman pregnant. To me a real mature man does not think about immediate gratification and does not ignore the reprecussions that he may have to pay for at least the next 20 years. For some women abortion is NOT an option for them because they don't want to have to pay for it with guilt down the road. I can't tell you the number of women who live with guilt for a long time after having an abortion. The guilt is real and torments them. Not to go so way off topic, but I think there's more guilt and shame in not raising a child properly vs. in terminating a pregnancy. Enough on that. Anyway, I agree with you --- that waiting is not necessarily a bad option and is doable in a relationship. Affection and intimacy are possible to achieve without sex especially when you really care about each other. Sex would be a great enhancement down the road --- but only when both parties are ready. Until then we're holding off. And like you, I'm abstinent for reasons that do not involve religion.
Guest Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 I respect your decision and its probably just as well about those 3 guys cos ultimately they didn't sound very nice or supportive. Sex is a fairly big thing for me and not something I enter into with a new partner lightly. I like you can't take the pill so its basically condoms for me - I know there are other things like IUDs etc but they are not really for me either. I think you have to be clear and upfront with people. Though I'm not sure I'd do this like on the 3rd date or anything. I wouldn't announce it over dinner but when the time is appropriate ie when things are getting heavy on the couch or something. That said I've just come out of a short term relationship with a guy (he's moved back home) who wasn't into sex as it was very special for him to be shared between two people in love. As we were just fooling around, I knew it was a short term thing so some short term fooling around was fine. There are many other things you can do other than sexual intercourse... Me and said guy had a very sexual relationship for a couple weeks without the actual sex part. I had a ball, I'm pretty sure that he had fun too. So I'd wait until you find the right person and do what is best for you *be you a guy or a girl* and not worry about what other people think is unfair.
newbby Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 Dude... Did you just turn a "no sex" thread into a pick-up bar??? now i am just making my post longer.
SmoochieFace Posted August 17, 2006 Posted August 17, 2006 People should live and let live. Everyone has their own standards and values and they should be respected regardless of whether you agree or disagree with them. If you do not wish to have sex and the guy throws a hissy fit over your decision then he isn't right for you anyway so just let him go. No need to dwell over whether he is 'respectful' or not. It should be a nonissue - if your values and his values don't mesh then move on. Don't bash him for having a different set of beliefs. Find someone who is in tune with you.
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