we'll be married soon and she i'm still using condoms...

[georgejungle]

is it Unfair of me to bug my soon-to-be wife about

taking Birth Control Pills?

 

We've been together 6 years...We used the pill in the

beginning for about a year, then she went off it. She's gone on and off

of it over the years and the usual reason she goes off

the pill is because she forgets to re-order and then runs

out.

 

For the past year and a half, i've been using condoms.

We're engaged, we're set to be married, we're in a committed

relationship and i've asked her a few times in very nice,

non-pressuring ways if we're ever going to try the pill

again and she always says "Yeah, i'll order them" "yes" but always

forgets or procrastinates...Last time i asked about it was

a little under a year ago. I know, it's been long, but i also

respect that Pills cause hormone changes, gals can get moody,

etc...so I haven't pushed the issue too hard.

 

So for sake of argument, i've just been using condoms...but

i want to be more intimate, i want that special feeling.

It doesn't seem to matter to her, because if she cared,

she would have done ordered them, right? Is she just being

lazy?

[SoCalCatman72]

IMHO, I think you need to ask her why she is reluctant to take the pill. There are many reasons women don't want to take the pill that has nothing to do with the man.

 

I.e.

Bloating.

Increased risk of stroke (especially if she smokes).

Cramps.

They just make her feel yucky.

It's a pain in the butt to have to remember to take them every day.

etc.

 

I don't think you need to bug her, but there is a reason for her reluctance and you need to ask more questions to ferret it out.

 

Both of you should talk with her OB/GYN and discuss other BC alternatives that are designed for contraception, but not necessarily prevention of STD transmission.

 

I.e. Depo Provera, Norplant (is this still used?), Diaphrams, Foam.

[norajane]

There's also the NuvaRing, which is a lower dose of hormones than the pill. Look it up on Google. It stays inside her vagina for three weeks and delivers the hormones directly in a more concentrated way. You don't feel it at all, and it can even come out for a couple hours without decreasing its effectiveness.

 

If she actually has no problem with the pill but is just too lazy to order (?), suggest that you order them for her.

[SoleMate]

I'm trying hard to understand why someone would use a condom if they didn't have to. As a woman, I dislike them a lot.

 

I agree that it is time to say, "OK, I'll order them for you. You'll take them if I get them, right? Because I would love so much to really be able to feel you totally." If she say Great! then you don't have a problem. If she says No...then I am wondering what is going on that she has not told you.

[Hitman10000]

Dude, just use the withdrawal method then. No condoms for the first week after her period, and no condoms a week before her period. Taking a birth control pill which alters a woman's biology is a big thing. Would you like it if your wife said "Dumb Husband, please take this pill that will make you last longer in bed even though you may have a 25% of insomnia or hot flashes"

 

Man some men, disgust me.

[Beautifulgirl]

I've been married for 3 and half years. During the first year including dating, I used the pill. Everything was great, but I found out I gained some weight, not noticeable, but subconsciously knew myself that I was. Birth Control pill can provide pleasure, the closeness between the two committed marriage people, however, you need also look at the bad side. I dislike condom, but if I don't want to have any children at this particular moment and be a 200lbs wife, I better put up with it. Do you think condom is great? Hell no! They hurt like hell but we women have to put up with it. And you men need to stop being so selfish.

 

What would you do if she ask you to have your spermatic cord tied? My husband thinks it's disgusting and gross. Well, what would you think we would think when you ask so much of us?

[kulyok]

Dude, just use the withdrawal method then. No condoms for the first week after her period, and no condoms a week before her period.

 

And the ba-a-a-aby is coming...

 

Honestly, isn't it widespread yet that sperm, in small amounts, comes in even before the end of the act, and that "safe" days is one of the most unreliable methods ever existing? (Well, gotta be thankful, otherwise there wouldn't be any me).

 

Another issue is that she might not be feeling comfortable enough with pills. Or there might be another reason, but you do not know it. Be sure to know exactly what she wants - talk to her why, and what method she'd like to use, and show genuine interest. She'll open up if you do.

[georgejungle]

"Dumb Husband, please take this pill that will make you last longer in bed even though you may have a 25% of insomnia or hot flashes"

 

 

I'm not calling her dumb, so i don't know what you're trying

to say with that remark.

 

I care enough not to push the subject at all and use condoms,

And have been for a year, and other times. I don't complain, i don't

whine and i don't pressure her. She's been fine with it before and

has never complained about taking it ever...the only thing that's

been a pain is her trying to remember when to take it or to

stay consistent and re-order them. I just feel she gets kind of

lazy.

 

But I know it causes side effects so, i'm not going to push the

subject. Besides we'll probably have kids in another year or so

anyway, why try and go on the pill now, at least that's what i've

been thinking since i posted.

[Guest]

Be careful what you ask for!

 

When my BF moved in, he asked me to take pills, which i agreed to reluctantly. (I have done that when i was 18, i gained weight, lost my libido which in a way led to the end of that relationship).

 

I told him all this, but agreed to give it a try. Guess what? I gained weight and lost my libido, which created some tension between us.

 

Now, I am off the pill, we are using condom (neither of us is particularly happy about it) and play around on "safe days".

 

It is not ideal, but the pill is not for everyone