CarmenCbC Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Why do I feel it? Why am I covered in guilt?I was the one left behind...I was the one who was told "I don't love you anymore..." ,then why do I feel like I did something soooo wrong by not wanting to remain friends ? I didn't do it out of revenge,I did it in order to move on...and now I feel like the villain of the story.I feel that it was my duty to continue the love with friendship..and I refused to fullfil it.I feel like I should be there for him when he is going through hard times,that I should support him and comfort him when he feels unappreciated and people around him hurt him...I know that maybe I shouldn't care...but I do...'cause that's the way I am..all heart. So now I fell so damn guilty...and I wish I was there for him...but he'll never know it,I'll let him think I don't care...I'll let him think I'm the wicked one...but I know better...because I'm the only one who knows what's inside...and I'll keep it there.
Returning Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 hey CarmenCbC Either do wrong or feel guilty, don't do both it's too much work. You are doing the right thing not being friends, it wouldn't work after you've been close to someone. You have no reason to feel guilty at all. If he is guilt tripping you thank your lucky stars he dumped you, he doesn't sound worthy of your affection.
bunny25k Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 i am going through the exact same thing. i just told my ex two days ago that i cant be his friend. he seemed hurt and i feel really guilty about it. but can he imagine how hurted ive been for the past 3 months. ive lost 20 lbs, cant eat, cant sleep, and i've cried every single day since the breakup. we made lunch plans for his bday next week and i told him that i cant go through with it cuz i want all or nothing. i told him goodbye forever. now i facing his bday coming up and i dont know if i should ignore it or drop him a text. this feeling is eating me up inside. how can we stay friends if i want more. the friendship was hurting me. so i decided to let him go....COMPLETELY. yet, im in the same boat as you, i feel guilty about not trying harder to stay friends.
leopardprint Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 You feel guilty because HE is the one the who did the leaving and breaking up, and our insecurities and fears make us think it HAD to be something WE did, because THEIR feelings changed, not ours. I don't know your exact situation, but that's how I always feel - and am feeling now. I'm sort of getting over it, because now I can see all the things he did wrong, and how he's never seen me for who I was or how much I did for him, apperciated him, and loved him. I thought, maybe he left because I didn't do all those things - but then I realized... it hurts so much because I did and do LOVE him so incredibly much, so I know I did my part. Blah - I know how you feel, Carmen. I guess it's just a huge part of the breaking up cycle we all over to go through as dumpees. Let's just hope we get over it soon, because truth is, we know we loved, and we know we cared, that's why it hurts; that's why we feel guilty when we shouldn't.
thekhris Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 its normal to feel guilty when you dump someone...even though you dont love him anymnore we all know that you still have little feelings to this guys..love cannot be disappear overnight..it will takes somtime before you actually get over to that feelings ..I MEAN TOTALLY GET OVER IT..
leopardprint Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 its normal to feel guilty when you dump someone... I thought the title said "even if I'm the dumpee"? I thought that meant, she was the one who was dumped by someone, and feels guilty about it. Maybe I miss read. If so, then ignore my reasponse above.
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