Wes Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 about a week ago, my gf of 1.5 years broke up with me. up until about a month ago, things had been seemingly going perfectly, and out of the blue, she asked for a 2-week break. she said she was confused, young, wasn't sure what she wanted, etc., bs, bs. we didn't talk to each other much during the break, but when we did, she initiated contact. anyway, last wednesday, she sends me a text message early in the morning saying that she had been on a "semi" date the night before, she had a good time, and that she thought i should know. i asked her if she had thought about our situation any more, and she said she thought we should date other people. all of this via text message, remember. well i was getting pissed, of course, because she was texting me instead of telling me to my face, or at least over the phone, so i called and said "so are we breaking up or not?" she stumbled around and i said "yes or no?", and she said yes. she said that she wanted to still be close friends, and i said "that can't happen. in order for me to be able to move on, we can't be friends, period." she said "you mean forever?" and i said "i don't know, but at least for a really long time." we said our goodbyes, and i thought that was it. well later that day, i get on myspace and she has written me a message saying that she was thankful that i was handling the situation as well as i was, and that she will always care about me and love me and all that bs. i mean, i will always care about her too, just because we were such a big part of each other's lives for so long, but we still can't be friends. she said she understood that we couldn't talk or see each other for a while, but still wanted to be friends some day. well that entire message pissed me off, so out of anger, i deleted her phone number, and i deleted her completely from my myspace and facebook accounts, which i'm sure completely took her by surprise. well, over the last several days, i have had time to cool down and think about things, and now i feel bad for doing that. i know i shouldn't, but i have always been considerate of others' feelings, and i always feel like crap if i know i've hurt someone's feelings, regardless of what they've done to me. i haven't looked at her profile, but my friends tell me that she still has a couple of pictures of us on there. let me remind you that when i deleted her, i deleted EVERYTHING....pics, comments, her profile....everything. no trace of her. now i feel like i may have hurt her feelings, and it makes me feel kinda crappy. i mean, i know she obviously doesn't care about my feelings as much as i cared about her's, but i still feel bad about it. i really wish i wasn't like that. anyway, i have been thinking that maybe i should send her a message saying that i was serious about not wanting to be friends, talk, or see each other for a very long time, but that i don't see why we can't be fb/myspace buddies. even if that was to happen, we still could make NO contact with each other until I'M ready to. i'm not doing this so that i can view her profile or anything like that, because i can do that whether i'm friends with her or not (and i haven't looked at it and will NOT look at it), but i'm doing it because i feel kinda crappy for acting hostile the other day. what do you guys think i should do??
norajane Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 No, no, no, no, NO! It's understandable that you feel crappy, but that should be because she DUMPED you, not because you did what you needed to do to move on. when i deleted her, i deleted EVERYTHING.. Excellent. This is THE BEST thing you could do for yourself. Don't talk to her, don't reply to her, do not look up her profile or myspace acount, do not talk to your friends asking what she's up to or how she's feeling, do not contact her in any way, don't do anything. She's dating other people and DUMPED you! You do not owe her anything. Do NOT send her any messages, do not offer friends, do not offer myspace, DO NOT do this. And frankly, what you did can hardly be considered hurtful. So what if you deleted her from your accounts? You are under no obligation to make this easeir for her. Why should you? Is it easy for you when you think of her going out with other guys? She's not doing anything to make it easy for you.
richardcruz Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Bravo!! I sincerely commend you on how level-headed you have been through your break up and only wish I could have been initially as strong as you in mine. So far it sounds like you have done and said all the right things after being dumped. Don't feel bad for saying what you did. Don't forget that you weren't the one that walked away from your relationship. She was. When you told her that in order for you to move on, you two couldn't be friends and she responded "you mean forever?" she made it sound like if she was genuinely concerned. If she was really concerned about losing your company, as well as your friendship, she should've never broken your relationship. Don't talk to her and move on with your life. It sounds alot like you're the more mature and reasonable person in your relationship, where as she couldn't even tell you in person that you guys were breaking up. Find someone else that is on your same level. Don't feel crappy. I'm sure you didn't want things to be like this in the first place. She wants to date other people but remain friends?! Sorry, you can't have your cake and eat it too!!
Guest Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Hey man, You did awesome. You don't owe her anything. She broke up with you. She is moving on and dating other people. Her feelings shouldn't concern you anymore. She's getting all the emotional and physical support she needs now from someone else. So keep that in mind if you ever feel weak about letting her back on myspace and back into your life. People mean different things to you at different times in your life. Eventually she'll occupy a minuscule amount of your brain cells. Find another cooler chick to mess around with. Life is short, dude!
Yamaha Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 You did exactly the right thing. No need to feel guilty.
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