cew Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 It all started 1.5 years ago. We were content in our marriages and not looking for anyone. Things became very serious between us and next thing you know we were spending every day together, if not together, on the phone at least all day. He introduced me to his father, brother and many freinds. Told all of them how happy I make him and that he wanted to marry me. We talked alot about future plans and how we would both get out o our marriages and be together. Last week, he told me he wanted to leave her and be with me. After he said that I started to puch him to do something. Last tuesday night he went home and told her he wasn't happy and was leaving to go talk to his brother for the night. Needless to say, the next morning he was back at home. They talked for a long time about their marriage and how they had grown apart. He called me after their talk. I said I have a couple of questions, 1. Do you see the marriage lasting? He said no, not really. 2. Are you still going to leave? He said no, not right now. 3. Do you want to work on your marriage. He said yeah, sort of. At that point I said that is all I needed to hear. Goodbye, I will leave you alone now. Saturday I began to breakdown and sent this text to him while he was on a family trip. I feel I owe you an apology before I am able to fully move forward with out you in my life. I always told you I would never pressure you to get a divorce and be with me. I know last week you were not ready to make the call and you felt pressured to leave her. I feel very bad for doing this to you now. This was something that you should have decided on your own. My love for you was at a point to where I needed something to start happening, I also believed this was how you felt. I was so scared you would never actually do it and I felt I needed to push you to see where your feellings really were. I guess I know where they lie now. I do not want an email back. I just want you to know I am sorry about last week. It has been a rough couple of days for me, but I am doing better as each day passes. I hope you had a great time with your family this weekend and are confident you made the right decision to stay and work on your marriage. Take care and good bye. Love Always, Sunday(yesterday) he sent this to me... I Am the one that needs to apologize. Yes, it is hard. I think about you constantly. Everything I see and hear reminds me of you in one way or another. I will always love you, So then yesterday I sent him this. I just can't see how two people that love each other the way we do can just throw it away. I hope you are confident in your decision to stay where you are. You walked away so easily, I just don't get it. M*** left me last night. I still have not told my parents, not sure what I will tell them. I guess god only gives you what you can handle. I know I am strong and will be able to overcome everything that has happened to me though. His response back yesterday... I am so torn right now. It has been very hard. Even with this weekend with her entire family and all the activities keping us busy, I still had you on my mind the entire time. Eating dinner, at the pool, sitting at the bar, etc. You never left my mind. I don't know what to do. I am so ****ed up in my head. On one side I feel like I am abandoning my family/kids for my own happiness. Being selfish. On the other side, I think of you and our love and don't want to loose it. But I can't keep on like this. I can't keep you on like this because of my undeciveness. C*****, I am sorry M*** left like that. I really am worried about you more than ever now. . I want to hold you and tell it will all be okay, but can't. I don't know where I am right now. C***** I love you and it was not easy walking away. I cry in the bathroom by myself thinking of you. Not easy at all for me and I know not for you. Love, This was what I sent him this morning back... I know it must be very hard for you to try and figure out what is ultimately going to make you happiest in the long run. I feel like last week I was putting pressure on you, this was not fair of me to do. You must understand the only reason why I did this was because I was looking out for myself. I figured if I gave you that "push" then I would see what your intentions really were. I should have just believed you and known deep down that you do indeed love me and would like to see a future with me at some point. We are in a very hard situation, everything is against us it seems. However, we always manage to get thru these hard times. This to me is a sign of our love for each other. I try my hardest to let go and tell myself it is over, this is just so hard for me to do. I am so scared to stop fighting for what I want. I look back at how we met. Two married people, content in their marriages not looking for someone else. One thing turns into another and we realize just how happy we make each other and how much we love each other. What we have together just happened and happened so naturally. If you look at our situation it is really hard to believe. Over the past few days, I have realized how everything around me reminds me of you in one way or another. From a song, to an item on a menu to something as simple as a convenient store. I have never in my life had someone leave this much impact on me. I really wish we could just look into the future and see what will happen in 5 years, together or apart. Unfortunately life is a gamble. I love you and I am not trying to talk you back, I just feel like these are things I needed to say. It seems as if two people who love each other as much as we do would be able to find a way to be together.....but sometimes, love is NOT enough. We would like to think that love conquers all. Unfortunately, it does not. There can be so many other obstacles that it cannot overcome, including the reasons why you might not be willing to leave your marriage. I have not heard back from him at this point. I am scared that he will tell me it is over. I know he loves me but just can't leave his children. Please give advice on what you think this last email means. I take it two ways. Thanks!
whichwayisup Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 If he wasn't in the picture would you still be leaving your husband? His marriage can be fixed, but you can't be in the picture because his focus won't be 100% on his wife and the marriage. He'll still be torn and confused. It seems as if two people who love each other as much as we do would be able to find a way to be together.....but sometimes, love is NOT enough. We would like to think that love conquers all. Unfortunately, it does not. There can be so many other obstacles that it cannot overcome, including the reasons why you might not be willing to leave your marriage. I would take that as a goodbye. He loves you, but it isn't enough to make it work. He got married, had children, built his life around his family, made friends, has inlaws, extended family...Neighbours, etc... He really doesn't want his whole life to change as he knows it. And I'm sure it's painful for him, just as it is for you. You two met at the wrong time in life. He is married, bottom line. It's sad when you fall inlove with someone who you really can't have for yourself. I suggest either fix your marriage, come clean with your husband, see if things are fixable - Or move on with your life without them. Don't wait for the MM. You'll be waiting a very long time and easily slip into being his OW again, which will only cause you more pain.
Recommended Posts