Do I have a chance at a 2nd date?

[BrwnEyz13]

I went out w/ my crush @ work on saturday and it was a great night; the show was awesome, but i don't think my attitude was. I didn't think my attitude was so great b/c I was so nervous and worried that i got quiet and @ work I'm usually joking around and doing the little immature things like poking and lightly shoving. That night I wasn't doing ne of that, well I did joke around a little bit, but she didn't pick up on most of my jokes and that just killed my moral. She was really enthusiastic and excited about the "date" b4, but I nvr really showed that I was b/c I was so nervous. So when the time came to meet up, she wasn't as excited as she had been b4; was she as nervous as I was?

During the date we did talk and always maintained eye contact (we nvr broke off from eachother w/e we locked eyes and sometimes we'd catch eachother staring when one of us wasn't looking), but I couldn't get as personal as I wanted to b/c it was a double date w/ my sister and her bf. My sister and her bf were acting really cutsie and we just looked at them and a part of me wanted to be doing that w/ my date, but I felt so weird b/c it was the first date. Is it a good sign that she let me hold her hand, eventhough if it wasn't for that long, or that when I'd hold her or put my arm around her she wouldn't move in? When we were talking later on in the date she mentioned that she doesn't really like to be touched or like taking pictures b/c she doesn't feel that she photogenic; we didn't take much pictures and whenever we got our picture taken, we both felt very ackward. At the very end of the date we talked a lot, probably the most lively conversation we had during the date also prob b/c I just started to warm up to her and be myself again and maybe she was just glad it was gona be over soon, I dunno. Well we hugged eachother and i kissed her on the cheek, but she didn't kiss me back. I would've gone for the lips but I cut my lip while shaving and it only started to close lmao. I know I'm forgetting other details b/c Im tired lol, but do I have a shot at another date, and if so when should i ask?

[Hitman10000]

Yo man, are you in high school? Cause I'm curious about that double date. A first date is not a first date if it's with other people. Let's get that straight. Yeah, and work romances aren't that great.

 

On your next post within your thread, I require the following before I help you:

 

1. At least high school level English.

 

2. Your age and the girl's age.

 

3. Your history with the girl, how you met and stuff.

 

I get this 6th sense vibe telling me you may have a 33-50% chance of landing a second date. which isn't that good, but please work with me.

[gfto]

do I have a shot at another date

No.

 

First of all, as the other poster said, a double date does not count as a first date. In order for it to qualify as a real date, it has to be you and her alone. Secondly, you should never touch a girl on a first date. Cool your jets and let her do the touching if she wants to. When she told you she doesn't like to be touched, that was pretty much the kiss of death. She was politely telling you that she isn't interested.

[MsArtful]

I agree with gfto, you were coming on too strong, with the touching thing. It's not a good sign that she doesn't want to you touch her, but it's not the "kiss of death" either, she may not be into public acts of affection(I know several girls who aren't, and I don't like them either). When you ask her out again be nice and friendly, and this time make it just the two of you. I'd ask her out in a day or two, you may as well go for it, remember that percentage chance will increase if your friendly and natural - so give it a shot. If she says yes, remember to be yourself, don't go all cool and reserved on her this time, relax.

Good luck!

[BrwnEyz13]

1. I'm awake and coherent lol

 

2. I'm 19, she's 18

 

3. We met 3 - 4 months ago @ work. We were basically work buddies and flirted, joked around, and talked quite a bit. By flirting I mean the pushing and shoving and getting really close, like to the point of our faces being less than an inch from eachother. We'd only work with eachother 2 - 3 times a week. It took me so long to ask her out b/c when I met her she had a bf. 1 month after her bf broke up w/ her is when the flirting started, but there was always eye contact and me catching her staring at me before that. We tried to hang out numerous times, but we always had bad timing. She was actually the first one to ask me out to places, she'd say: "Hey let's go bowling" or "I feel kind of weird going to this party b/c one of my ex boyfriends will be there, you should come with me." They were always the "You shoulds." And of course I'd ask her out, but the way our schedules worked was that we'd work opposite shifts.

 

About Me: I don't have any dating experience, and am shy and quiet when I first meet someone. That's how I was when I first met her at work. I liked her, but didn't want to make a move b/c she had a boyfriend and respected that. She actually called me on that b/c when my other co-workers weren't hitting on her, our customers were. She appreciated that I was cool and laid back w/ her. As I got to know her, and as with anyone, I opened up and am my true self, which is: dorky, funny, charming/immature in a gradeschool manner, sarcastic/ witty, cool, laid back, and ackward. I am by no means being full of myself either, I was told this stuff by many people and I hate talking about myself, especially if I have to make myself look too good to be true like this.

 

What I know About Her: She is amazing. She's competitive, smart (wants to be a doctor and is dead set on it,) loves to go shopping in the city, has a secret dorky side, has divorced parents and stays at one of their houses each night (sounds stessful to me,) very athletic, absolutely beautiful (I wasn't really nervous before our double date, but when I saw her step out of her car, I lost my composure and got nervous.) Haha, she loves to eat; she eats more than any girl I know. She has 6 exboyfriends, all of which she says broke up w/ her and none of the breakups were her fault. She hates yelling and did yell at her last exboyfriend when they did break up. She said it was really not like her to do that and her friends just looked at her when she did.

 

About the Date: It was a double date to see Cirque Du Soliel, a show that she loves and always talks about. That was why I went and bought the tickets. I was really confused as to what to label it. I wasn't sure if it was a first date or not. I'm pretty sure she felt the same way b/c one day she called me up bfore the date and shyly asked: "So how did you get the tickets, were they just left overs, your parents, or did you ask someone else and they just said no?" And when I told her that I bought them and needed someone to go with and that she was the first person I asked, she got really enthusiastic. Overall I felt very ackward b/c of the fact that she had 6 exboyfriends and broke up with one 2-3 months ago. I didn't know how to treat her. I wanted to give her space, but let her know that I like her with conversation, eye contact and touching. I felt very weird about the touching, but thought that was just me being insecure and did it anyway.... my mistake. But I thought it'd be alright b/c we'd push and shove eachother like that at work. During the date I'd joke around a little bit, but as so nervous that I just ended up being quiet most of the time. She'd joke around and bring up things from work that would usually get a good reaction out of me, but as I said I was so nervous it just passed by me.

 

Asking Her Out Again: I really want to, and feel like I made the night weird and ackward. I want to bring up the touching part when I aks her out again, but don't want to come off as weak more just like explain myself.

[britchick]

I don't think holding her hand or kissing her on the cheek is overstepping the line. Sounds just right for a first date. I also think if you asked her out because you fancy her (translation - are into her) it's a date whoever else is there. Wait for a couple of days, give her a call and ask her out again, I bet she says yes.

[BrwnEyz13]

Does it even matter what the night should be labeled?

[Hitman10000]

Those Circue De Soleil tickets cost a lot money. I sincerly hoped you did not pay for it all. Women don't glare at me, I speak the truth and you know I'll crush your Jedi powers with my Sith abilities. Those tickets are $50! each.

 

That was not a first date and I doubt she'd honestly feel comfortable going on a second date unless you fork out $$$ to go with her and honestly she would go out with you cause you're flashing the $$$, but if you were to say "Hey let's go to the beach" she'd see -$$$ and abstain. Think of dating as meeting a new male friend.

 

Let's say you ask ME to hang out with you for the first time. Wouldn't it be awkward for you to pay for my meal, drinks, free ride? Yeah, what if you asked me to watch a movie with you, you pay for all the movie tickets and I get a free ride. The first couple dates are to be treated as "hang out" kinda deals and nothing girlfriend/boyfriend like. I recommend dumping this girl and never looking back, trust me on this one.

 

I will give you this super advice, are you ready?

 

First Date: Coffee/Drinks - Talk , If Convo is good...Second date, if Confo sucks...Don't even go further. 30-60 minutes of dating time. Do not touch her. Let your body signal your interest.

 

Second Date: Light snack/Go Walk around somewhere... If Convo is still good...Third Date. ..If Convo sucks..Don't go further. 45-90 min of dating time. Do not touch her. If she moves her body into you, it's okay but do not touch her. Let your body signal interest.

 

Third Date: Obviously if she has said yes to a third date, you can go anywhere and do whatever. Keep the date 1-2 hours. You should definetely move in, but don't be grabbing. Just think sexual thoughts and glide into her.

 

Btw, don't use my super advice on this girl, it's over, Get rid of her.

[BrwnEyz13]

lol yes those tickets were $75 each, and she payed me as soon as we met.

[Green]

ahh you let her pay... bb ad move when your just starting things off. you should have acted like it was nothing and not let her pay. Look I'm not saying things are over with her but dont be devestated if they are...