luvncurls Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I realized more and more that I am really mean to men sometimes. My male friends tell me that I come off as very intimidating and that I scare guys away like that. I went out with my friend last night and we were dancing with two guys and she got asked for her number and I didn't, but it was because I just sort of left him hanging out on the dance floor and went to go sit down, I was really drunk and my feet hurt. After the club, we met some guys outside the club and they asked us if we wanted to get something at the diner a few blocks away. The intended target of that was my friend becuase he was all over her with attention and compliments. I was very nice to his friend and his friend was really nice, but the guy that ws talking to my friend annoyed me as when he tried to talk to me and I would argue with him because what he said was annoying, he thought he was brilliant and wasn't. My friend told me that I was my usual beligerent self that night. I'm not sure. I don't like being this way. I need to be nicer to, but I also don't want to seem like a wet sponge. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated on how I can control the scary girl facor that I seem to have down?
Kittiecat Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 HAH! You described my typical Saturday night. Have you had your heart broken recently? Hate men in general? We've all been there. Oh...and I especially hate those times when my friends get the male attention and I'm left in the cold. There...I said it. I hate it. And maybe to some extent you did too.
magichands Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 My friend told me that I was my usual beligerent self that night. I'm not sure. I don't like being this way. I need to be nicer to, but I also don't want to seem like a wet sponge. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated on how I can control the scary girl facor that I seem to have down? I say that you should be yourself. Take me or leave me. Well... Are you saying that you want to be more diplomatic? Or, at least, a little bit diplomatic? Suffering fools is a tough business. (I know - I've lived with myself all my life.) It's good that you are prepared to listen to (and even seek) feedback from your close friends, and now it's time to think about whether they might have a point. (Remember, your friends ARE your friends, right? They're with you because they know you - and you changing your behaviour isn't a condition of their friendship.) Good luck with that.
j.carsey Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Honestly, the solution is so incredibly simple just SMILE more. Smile at a man and you'll get the attention. I did an experiment recently. A female friend tipped me off that I really should be smiling more. I looked at photos we had taken and was thinking, wow I really do need to smile. So I tried being unusually smiley walking around the city, smiling at the drug store, smiling to strangers walking down the street. It tends to make people show some interest or friendliness back ... smiling makes you look better. Try it!
Pink Amulet Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 I am always a bitch to men like that. I wouldn't worry.
SoCalCatman72 Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Hey, if you're not insulting or rude to the guy, and he's "turned off" then IMO he's not the right guy for you. If you are happy with who you are, more power to you. The part about smiling is true, happy people generally get more attention as happiness can be contagious, and we all want to be happy. IMO, it sounds like your friend was unhappy, because you made it clear that you thought this guy was an arrogant loudmouth. Sometimes people just cant handle the truth =P
j.carsey Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 I am always a bitch to men like that. I wouldn't worry. Hmmm.... Pink, I hope you enjoy your 20s / early 30s (just a guess) and your body while it lasts You should be nice to men you want, I think. It's a pretty strange thing to be impolite or cold to someone you want as a friend or more.
Pink Amulet Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Hmmm.... Pink, I hope you enjoy your 20s / early 30s (just a guess) and your body while it lasts You should be nice to men you want, I think. It's a pretty strange thing to be impolite or cold to someone you want as a friend or more. Yes, I will, thanks I don't see how this has anything to do with the subject.... I am a perfectly lovely, and charming lady when in the company of gentlemen. I just want nothing to do with a man who picks women up in nightclubs. Having said that, if a man approaches me I will always decline politley, and gently and thank them anyway. If they are persistant, my patience wears thin... I hate when I go out dancing with female friends and we end up spending the night with a group of sleazy dickheads... I usually just ditch them.
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