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Do I ask her again..or let it go??


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Posted

A little background...chick at work who i've been friends for about 2 years...didn't really see her as anything more than that until the last few months. We've only hung out outside of work on a couple of occasions at an after work happy hour, never alone, but we do converse on email fairly regularly. Anyhow, both of our birthdays are coming up at the end of month a few days apart, so I thought of getting together with her sometime in between our birthdays. While conversing on email...

 

me: "oh by the way, since your b-day is a few days after mine, we're gonna grab a beer sometime in between our b-days..FYI".

 

her: "Yep! man Im getting really old :)...We need to round up some work people."

 

 

I said nothing insinuating having anyone other than her and myself. I kind of left it at that and didn't make that point to her...but is it pretty safe to assume that any woman in that situation who suggests to have others come along really isn't intersted in a romantic way?

Posted

"oh by the way, since your b-day is a few days after mine, we're gonna grab a beer sometime in between our b-days..FYI".

Are those your exact words? And then you think:

 

I said nothing insinuating having anyone other than her and myself.

 

Sorry, but that doesn't sound like a request for a date. In fact in sounds like you're inviting her along to something that has already been planned with other people. Especially if you used, FYI like that!

Posted

what bluechocolate said.

 

If you wanted to ask her out, you should have asked her not told her. You made it sound like it was some group thing that was already planned.

Posted
If you wanted to ask her out, you should have asked her not told her.

Haha... and I won't take "No" for an answer. (Because it's not a question!)

 

Anyway, I don't know why I'm rambling on here - I'm just going to chime in agreement. Go ahead and ask her out properly! Rejection can get addictive after a while.

 

Just kidding (she'll probably say yes).

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Posted

The way i "asked" her was i guess just a bad way of trying to be playful with her....the "FYI" think wasn't anything that was already planned...but again, just playful thing.

 

But nevertheless....it appeared she took it as the two of us initially and then chimed in with "let's grab some work people" as a way of trying to avoid it just being me and her. That is why i was asking if someone would someone suggest other tag along if you have any interest in them. But i understand what y'all are saying. Normally, i much more direct in a girl i just met, however, with someone you've been friends with, it's a little different scenario.

Posted
"let's grab some work people"

Hmmm... I wonder what she meant by "grab"? Be very careful here.

Posted

But nevertheless....it appeared she took it as the two of us initially and then chimed in with "let's grab some work people" as a way of trying to avoid it just being me and her.

 

I don't see how it appears that way at all. Your invite was not a request for a date - plain & simple. I think you're over analysing her response big time.

 

Of course when it comes to asking a friend out the scenario is a little different. You're trying to change the boundaries of your relationship. The only way you're going to do that, or to know what her feelings are on the matter, is to be more direct.

 

Call her back (don't email) & tell her you think she's misunderstood. What you want is to take her out for a drink, just the two of you, for her birthday (keep your birthday out of the picture). That should alert her straight away. Then take it from there.

Posted

hahaha yeah maybe she meant grab litteraly if she invites you over for dinner you better ask whats for dinner or she might be eating... YOU

Posted
hahaha yeah maybe she meant grab litteraly if she invites you over for dinner you better ask whats for dinner or she might be eating... YOU

If you're really lucky... :cool:

Posted
me: "oh by the way, since your b-day is a few days after mine, we're gonna grab a beer sometime in between our b-days..FYI".

 

her: "Yep! man Im getting really old :)...We need to round up some work people."

 

Reasonable minds can differ over the face of your e-mail. I can see how one could take it as "just the two of us," and I can see how one could take it as "a group of people." But, it's irrevelant. The only thing that matters is that she specifically said "we need to round up some work people," in order to make sure that it wouldn't be just the two of you, because she isn't romantically interested in you.

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