AngieQueb Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I apologize in advance if this post is long, but I hope you'll respond with some sound advice (other than forget about him and move on! ). My ex and I officially broke up 3 1/2 weeks ago. (He's 29 & I'm 33). We met online and hit it off instantly. He had just moved to town 3 months before we met and we were taking things slow because he was just getting out of a failed marriage and wanted to build a friendship first and hopefully have it progress from there. It was 3 weeks before we even kissed and 1 1/2 months before we had sex. We got along great and had so much fun when we were together. He brought me home to meet his family and talked about how great things were between us and future plans, etc. There was a problem though...before he met me, he was dating someone else. For the first few weeks of our relationship, he was seeing both of us (I didn't know it at the time) and he eventually broke it off with her. She took the breakup hard and he allowed her to remain in his life supposedly just "as a friend". I asked him several times if he wanted to just "date around" (thinking that b/c he just recently got divorced and had just moved to a new city that he may not want to be tied down) and he said that he wanted us to date me exclusively and that I had nothing to worry about with this ex. But, then I started catching him in lies. He was doing things with her and wasn't telling me about it and then I ultimately found out that they were still sleeping together. When I discovered this...I immediately broke up with him. He denied that anything ever happened...and still to this day is denying it. After much back & forth, he decided that he didn't want to jump back into a relationship with me, (he managed to turn the situation around and tried to blame me instead of taking ownership & accountability for his actions) but wanted to keep the door open for future potential. I agreed... because I love him and was hoping that perhaps we might have a chance to get back together if I were still in his life as a friend. Since then, he has initiated the majority of the contact with me. I have been responsive and nice, but have kept him at arm's length because I knew that he was still messing around with his ex. We have not gone more than 4 days without him contacting me since we broke up. A week after we called it quits, he continued to sleep with the ex. But, now to add a twist to it...I learned this past week (3 weeks after we broke up) that he's now dating someone else (she's 27 with a 5 year old daughter). They met each other in the midst of our breakup and from the best I can tell...they've only hung out a maximum of 4 times since we've broken up. I got an email from him last week announcing that he's now dating someone new and that he thinks there is so much potential for them. He's posting things on his MySpace page about having a new girlfriend, etc. and he finally went 100% no contact with the ex that broke us up. So, my questions are: 1. Do you think that the relationship he is now in is a "rebound" relationship? 2. He's already calling her his g/f after knowing her for less than a month. Correct me if I'm wrong...but my experience tells me that a guy will not acknowledge someone as his g/f unless they are intimately involved. Do you think they're already sleeping together? 3. He's never dated anyone with children...do you think that he will start to feel the pressures of that added dimension and get scared? 4. Since he's moved here, he has had someone in his life (his ex, then me & his ex, then his ex & this new girl, now this new girl). It's probably been exciting for him to juggle two women and now that there is only one girl involved, do you think he'll get bored and dump her? 5. Please offer any advice you can to help put me in the best position possible to get him back (I know most of you will say...forget about him, but right now my heart won't let me) Thanks
Green Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I would have said forget it but you want advice to get him back. First of all if you believe in magic or vodoo or something else like that you should make a love potion that might work. Fortune cookies are also a good source of advice in situation like these it will be vague but it should put you on the right direction. have you ever considered letting him impregnate you if you did he might do the right thing and mary you. You could try to make him jelouse by dating other people and acting like you've lost interest in him. or you could play the damsel in distress tell him your grandmother or what ever just died and you need some comforting. You could just put yourself on the line and tell him you want him back and maybe he'll say yes but if he says no you could just wait your whole life for him and maybe if your lucky he'll get sick sooner than later and you can take care of him like some nurse. yep those are your options.
ButtonPusher Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 First of all if you believe in magic or vodoo or something else like that you should make a love potion that might work. Fortune cookies are also a good source of advice in situation like these it will be vague but it should put you on the right direction. have you ever considered letting him impregnate you if you did he might do the right thing and mary you. You could try to make him jelouse by dating other people and acting like you've lost interest in him. or you could play the damsel in distress tell him your grandmother or what ever just died and you need some comforting. You could just put yourself on the line and tell him you want him back and maybe he'll say yes but if he says no you could just wait your whole life for him and maybe if your lucky he'll get sick sooner than later and you can take care of him like some nurse. I really hope your joking KMT.....otherwise I wonder if your over 13
ImmaBeAlright Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 So, my questions are: 1. Do you think that the relationship he is now in is a "rebound" relationship? Could be, couldn't be. Why should it concern you, it's irrelevant? 2. He's already calling her his g/f after knowing her for less than a month. Correct me if I'm wrong...but my experience tells me that a guy will not acknowledge someone as his g/f unless they are intimately involved. Do you think they're already sleeping together? Yes, they are. 3. He's never dated anyone with children...do you think that he will start to feel the pressures of that added dimension and get scared? He might and he might not. Again, why is this relevant? 4. Since he's moved here, he has had someone in his life (his ex, then me & his ex, then his ex & this new girl, now this new girl). It's probably been exciting for him to juggle two women and now that there is only one girl involved, do you think he'll get bored and dump her? You are killing me, you need to stop, not healthy for you. He might dump her and he might not. Remember people go through lots of people before settling down. 5. Please offer any advice you can to help put me in the best position possible to get him back (I know most of you will say...forget about him, but right now my heart won't let me) Advice, forget about him. ACCEPT it is over and your heart will heal slowly, but it will finally get it too. Thanks I have to mention, I have been called blunt around these parts, but I call it as I see it. If you want to hear what you want to hear, then excuse me and ignore this post. Keep well
ImmaBeAlright Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 I really hope your joking KMT.....otherwise I wonder if your over 13 I'm willing to bet he's joking. A good one too.
Recommended Posts